#gratefulformybodyNOV

My friend at Biceps After Babies recently wrote a post with this hashtag asking followers to comment with one thing they love about their body.

I've been thinking about it since then trying to figure out what I love about my body. It was interesting because I do love my body and generally have pretty positive feelings about it, but every time I thought of something I love my critical side added a, "Yeah, but..."

I have pretty healthy skin. "Yeah, but right now you keep breaking out."

I have nice eyes. "Yeah, but you have to wear contacts."

My brain works great. "Your brain has been tired and slow ever since you had kids."

My body has made some adorable, healthy babies. "Yeah, but you know that first trimester depression you always get? And how about the miscarriage you had last March? And your belly button is doing that weird folding at the top thing." (I know about the belly button thing, critical side, and nobody cares.)

I haven't really been able to think of any part of my body that has served me perfectly. Maybe my kidneys or my appendix? But you know, that's not the point. I honestly believe that our bodies are a gift from our Heavenly Father, and He gave them to us to help us learn and become what He wants us to be. I think our spirits in the premortal life had about reached their limit of development and we needed bodies so we could continue to progress. And we shouted for joy at the chance to be given these bodies with all their flaws. The flaws are all part of the learning process too. My body does exactly what it's supposed to. It functions really well and it makes it so I can live and learn so many things that will help me return to Heavenly Father.

My body doesn't have to be perfect for me to love it.

So here are some things about my body that I love:

My eyes: Yes, I have to wear contacts, but only if I drive, because otherwise I don't notice the difference. My eyes see the entire spectrum of colors, easily read words on a page or notes in a piece of music, and adjust to the amount of light that is reaching them. And they're a great color too.

My hands: They've seen me through nearly 25 years of playing the piano, changed hundreds of diapers, turned thousands of pages, carried my babies, and made a lot of awesome bread and cookies.

My brain: I'm convinced that with enough work this brain can learn anything I want it to. My brain got me through Calc 3, geochemistry, War and Peace, and a senior thesis. My brain is flexible. It looks for the truth and tries to understand things through other perspectives. My brain sends and receives messages from my entire body and processes most of it effortlessly so I can focus on living life without being distracted by the hum of the refrigerator or having to consciously think about the movement of each individual finger to pick something up.

My immune system: I'm possibly developing a cold right now, and as icky as that is, my body is fighting it. How awesome is it that our bodies can heal? I've had my share of cuts and burns, and I can't see or feel any of them anymore because they've all healed. I even had a pretty bad broken bone when I was eleven, and you can't even tell anymore!

And right now my body is doing a great job at growing another little body.

almost 7 months

Miraculously, I cleaned the bathroom and got dressed nicely on the same day, which means I could take an awkward mirror selfie without being embarrassed about the state of my bathroom or being in exercise clothes.

Our little monkey still seems to be doing well and is enjoying plucking my ribs just like Kevin did. The pubic symphysis dysfunction has also let up somewhat recently, which has been a relief.

Occoneechee Mountain State Natural Area

At the end of May, our ward had planned a party at the Occoneechee Mountain State Natural Area, but the day before there was some concern about the weather, so it got cancelled. Pretty unfortunate, considering that it ended up being a beautiful day, and not even very hot--but after all the tornadoes and other natural disasters that have been happening lately, I think we're all a little more cautious.

Well, I was seriously considering spending the day in bed feeling sorry for myself, so Ryan dragged me out of bed and we went to the mountain as a family and walked on some of the trails.

Believe it or not, they claim to have mountains here. Like the Occoneechee Mountain, the highest point in the county at an awe-inspiring 867 feet. But it is a very nice park and the trail was quite pleasant. And yes, I had a really nice time, and I informed Ryan that sometimes I hate it when he's right.

As is usually the case, Ryan gets credit for all the pictures, except the mushroom, which is my work of art.

Kevin is so cute with his new baseball cap. He loves wearing it.
And this is what I looked like at about 38 weeks pregnant.

Wow, the horizon! It does exist out here!

Below are some pictures of an old quarry.

The horizon again!

tummy comparisons

The top row has pictures from this pregnancy. The left one is from about a week ago, the right one is from the end of March.

I wanted to compare how I look this pregnancy to how I looked last time. The bottom two pictures are when I was seven months and eight months pregnant with Kevin. I think I look bigger now than I did when I was eight months pregnant with Kevin, but I think I'm also carrying the baby differently this time, which is interesting.

We have about a month to go until my estimated due date. The weeks seem to be going faster now, but at the same time I feel like I've been pregnant for a really long time and Birth Day still seems far away.

6 (ish) months pregnant

I finally figured out the timer on the camera and found a place to prop it up so I could take a picture of myself.  Then the stars had to align so that there was a day when I had actually fixed my hair (when I don't have time I just braid it) and had time to actually take the picture. Yesterday it happened. So here is what I look like, about three months away from Baby Girl's arrival. You're welcome, Michelle. I do rather like my little baby bump, although I'm feeling a little impatient for June to come so I can finally meet our little one.

If you click on the "tummy" label you can compare my sizes from this pregnancy and my last pregnancy.

2.5 weeks left

This is all about pregnancy stuff. I promise I really am occupied with many other things besides having a baby.

We are down to about two and a half weeks until the due date--although of course it could be less or more. I've kept thinking the due date would seem soon once I reached three weeks, but it still doesn't seem soon. I guess the baby could come any day now, but it still seems like that day is so far away. I am feeling a little impatient, and this is why: It's boring to wait. I'm not in pain, I'm not sick, I don't have heartburn. Compared to the food aversions I had to deal with for the first four months, this is great. It's just boring to wait when I know that soon my very own baby will be placed in my arms. (Don't worry--it may be boring to wait, but I'm still finding all sorts of things to fill up the time. Laying around complaining about how bored I am would be boring.)

Fortunately for me, I'm not feeling especially miserable. My only complaint is that I feel heavy. I don't roll over at night anymore--it's more like launching over. But other than that it's not that bad. The thought of being pregnant for a couple more weeks doesn't bother me much. A lot of people seem surprised that I am feeling so well. A couple of nights ago when we went to the temple (yes, I sat through the entire session and it wasn't bad at all), one of the workers asked when I was due, and when I told her her eyes got really wide and she said, "Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay?" Really, I'm feeling great. Baby Q seems to be feeling a little cramped, though. Even though it would be nice for this to all be over (although I guess it's not really an ending--more like a beginning), I keep trying to remember that every day that passes before he is born is one more day for the baby to develop and learn to breathe and digest. And I want a healthy baby!

One of my sisters-in-law had a baby in May, and another had her baby yesterday. Events like that have sort of helped break down the time for me. Tiffany having her baby was sort of the last event I was looking forward to before our baby coming. The only thing left to reach is the finish line (not that this is a race!).

A random side note: It still seems kind of weird that I have in-laws. They're not really like in-laws, though. After only a year I feel like they are my family. I love them all so much!

Last week I had to really work to get my wedding ring off. It kind of hurt. I guess my fingers are swelling up a little bit. I haven't been wearing it, and I really miss having it on. Hopefully it will fit again soon.

We took a maternity tour. It was nice to see where everything is and get some of our questions answered. Having an idea of what to expect makes me feel a little more prepared. It seems like the hospital does a good job of taking care of you, but I have a feeling I will be happy when I can come home to finish recovering in familiar surroundings. It's nice that the hospital is only a couple of minutes away.

Monday was the last day of our birth class. I'm glad we took the class. It has been interesting to get to know people who aren't members of our church who are having babies, since I have already known lots of people having babies in our ward. One of the members of our class had already had her baby, and she and her husband came with the baby to tell us about their experiences during the first couple of weeks after he was born. It was nice to hear their thoughts. At the beginning of our class everyone always got a turn to say their name and something good that happened during the week. One person said that her good thing was that she had a gift card to Babies R Us, but she went there and couldn't think of anything that she needed, and she thought it felt really good that she was ready. I decided I felt grateful that I haven't once had to go into Babies R Us!

And here's a picture I took last week when I had exactly four weeks left until the due date. If you compare it to the last picture I do look a little bigger.

7.3-ish months, including a tummy picture for Michelle

Well, it's happened. I can't get into my temple dress. Fortunately the nice ladies at the temple let me borrow a nice big one, so we were still able to go to the temple last week--what a great experience. I think it has new meaning to me as the baby's birth comes closer. It is a wonderful blessing to serve in the temple, and I don't want to let being a parent hold me back from going back regularly because I doubt I can do it as well without the temple. My cub scout uniform won't button up either, so I have been wearing it over another shirt. It's mildly disconcerting when you try on your clothes and find you can't even get them on, even if it's for a good reason like a growing baby taking up all the space.

I took some tummy pictures last week, but I couldn't bear to post them. I told my sister Michelle that and she said she wanted to see them and that she thinks pregnant people look so pretty, so I decided to try taking another picture, and I was much happier with the results. It probably helped to take a picture of all of me instead of just my torso--that makes sense. I wanted to avoid having to show my face since I wasn't sure whether to smile or ignore the camera, but a close-up of one's own torso is probably enough to give anyone self-esteem issues, pregnant or not. So here is a picture of me today, with eight weeks to go, because I love Michelle--thanks for helping me to keep my commitment to keep some kind of record of what I look like pregnant.

This month things have been very different from before. Those little thumps have mostly been replaced by little lumps--meaning that lots of times I can feel a knee or an elbow or a foot or a head or something pushing hard for long periods of time, usually underneath or near my ribs. I'm amazed at this little guy's strength sometimes. It would be mildly disconcerting to feel those little lumps under the surface of my tummy if I didn't know it was a baby, but since it is a baby, it's kind of fun. I have to wonder if it's annoying or nice from Baby Q's perspective to feel me rubbing my tummy. I really am enjoying watching and feeling these changes take place in my body. It is amazing to me that my body knows how to build a human being and give him all the nourishment and oxygen he needs. I am having an interesting time figuring out how to sleep comfortably at night--it usually involves putting pillows all over the place. So far it hasn't been too hard to get a good night's sleep. If you come to visit, bring your own pillow, because I'm using all of ours.

I can't explain how much I love my little boy. I am trying to be prepared for labor without focusing so much on it that I don't enjoy anticipating being a mother, which is much more important. The thought of all the little things that are involved in tenderly nurturing my own child sometimes makes me happy to the point of tears. It seems so right to be doing this.

If you read this blog by getting emails from me, I'm not sure if you'll see the picture. You can always go here to see how my posts look on the blog.

6 months down, three to go

Wednesday afternoon I was walking somewhere on UNC campus, and a lady who was going the other direction pointed at my belly and said, "Four . . . three months?" I knew what she meant (that I'm 3-4 months along), but I replied, "Yeah, I've got three months left." Her eyebrows rose in surprise, and she said, "Wow, you're not very big!"

I still feel big. Until I look in the mirror, anyway. I've felt big since December. It hasn't affected my self-esteem or anything--I know getting a round tummy is a good thing when you're pregnant, and I have sort of enjoyed starting to show. But it's still a little strange to look down at my tummy and see so much sticking out.

The top is what I looked like Wednesday. The bottom is what I looked like a month ago.

Wow. I actually haven't grown that much. Keeping in mind that this is my first pregnancy and that I still have three months left (in which this baby will probably gain about five pounds), however, I think I'm a normal size.

I did some baby supply shopping yesterday and found lots of clothes on sale, which made me excited. The Baby Bjorn carrier that we found on Ebay for a great price also came in the mail and looks great. I wrote a lot more about my shopping trip, but later on I deleted it because I told my mom all about it and decided that was enough. For some reason whenever I go shopping (except for groceries) I always want to show people all of the things I bought. I think it's because when I was growing up and my mom took us school shopping, she always told us to try on our new clothes and show them all to my dad when we got home. I think we even showed him all of our new school supplies most of the time.

As time goes on, I am feeling more and more excited that we are going to have a little boy. It just seems right to me. I see baby boys at church and think, "I'm going to have one of those!" I can't explain how much I already love him, even though I don't know much about him or even what he looks like. I feel that he is a special and wonderful person specifically and thoughtfully sent to us by Heavenly Father. I am looking forward to beginning my new responsibilities to nurture and love my own child.

Inclement Weather

North Carolinians are funny. Yesterday it snowed a little bit--in Idaho, nobody would have even wondered if school would be closed with that little snow, but here they closed the schools and some other places. This morning, I woke up early to go volunteer at Rashkis Elementary School, and the classrooms were empty--school was still closed. Later, I called UNC hospitals to ask about some bills they sent me, and this was the message I heard: "Due to inclement weather, our office will be closed until 10:00 a.m." The thing is, the roads are almost completely clear and dry. That's inclement weather. About a month or so, we got four inches, and that was an emergency. I guess when you don't get very much snow and people don't know how to drive in it, you have to be a little more careful. For some pictures of the snow yesterday, go here: http://quantumleap42.blogspot.com/ Now most of the snow is gone.

On another note, I think I'm going to stop eating cereal and eat oatmeal for breakfast instead. I can get about three times as much oatmeal for the same price I would pay for a box of cereal, and oatmeal is more nutritious and makes me feel full longer than a bowl of cereal. Plus, I like oatmeal.

Here's a picture of my tummy today--I took it myself facing the mirror because I was too embarrassed to ask someone to do it, and then I cropped out the camera. I am at about five months, but unless you know I'm pregnant (or if you're me and have noticed your pants getting tighter since December), you still can't really tell.