on gentlemen opening doors

Years ago a woman in Relief Society told about teaching her son to have good manners. Specifically, she said that if her son forgets to open the door for her she will stand and wait for him to do so. I've heard many women tell similar stories or say that they would never marry a young man who didn't open doors for her.

I have no problem with men opening doors for women, but I think we need to think about how we handle this. I once went on a date with a young man who did all the "right" things--opening doors, making sure I was seated first, helping me with my chair, etc.--but he treated me like a ditz and turned everything I said into something to make fun of me about. I'm an intelligent person and I found his behavior very insulting. That was one of the most expensive dates I was ever taken on and it was probably the worst one. I would have much preferred to be with a young man who forgot to open my door but responded kindly to my comments. Clearly there's much more to a man's character than if he remembers to open the door for his date.

What does it say about a woman's character if a man forgets to open a door for her and she stands haughtily by the door and gives him a dirty look? It takes a lot of courage to ask someone on a date and it's terribly unkind to treat a young man like that when he's probably already very nervous and self-conscious.

Won't it put a strain on a relationship if a wife gets irritated at her husband for forgetting to open her door? When our husbands already have so many worries on their shoulders (work, providing for their family, specific concerns about members of their family, callings at church), is it right to add to that the guilt of forgetting to open a door? Wouldn't it be much better to overlook it or gently say, "Would you mind opening my door, dear?"

Personally when I got married there were other characteristics that were much higher on the priority list. I'm a big girl and I can open my own doors. What I really need is someone who I can have an intelligent conversation with, someone who doesn't mind washing dishes and changing dirty diapers, someone who steps in when there's service to be done. A young man who never learned to open doors can be taught to do so, but you will have a much harder time changing his character.

Farm Animal Days

NC State University has a farm animal days event each year where people can come learn about how farm animals are cared for. Heidi talks about it all year round. This year our preschool group all went together and we got to hang out with friends, which was great. It made the line to see the chicks much more bearable.

The girls sat in one tractor and Heidi thought that was enough.

Michelle's wedding

My sister Michelle got married and I got to fly out for the wedding all by myself while Ryan stayed home with the kids!

I got to Salt Lake City on a Thursday and Melissa picked me up at the airport. We went straight to Temple Square and did an endowment session at the Salt Lake Temple. Melissa just received her endowment in January, so this was our first time doing a session together and it was really special. I had never been inside the Salt Lake Temple before, so it was neat to see the inside for the first time. It was all so big, so we kept having to ask temple workers which way to go. After the temple we had lunch at Kneaders and went shopping for wedding presents for Michelle. We opted for practical and got Michelle and Donovan a bunch of household things like toilet paper, garbage bags, and paper towels, because poor starving newlyweds in college need that stuff! Then we drove to my parents' house and hung out. Melissa and Elizabeth and I stayed up way too late talking.

I woke up early in the morning and couldn't sleep (maybe my body was telling me to get Kevin ready for school or something), so I finally got up and sorted out all the crayons and colored pencils and stuff. I think some of the colored pencils were mine from first grade because they had the old Crayola logo on them. When Ian got back from his paper route he sat on the couch and laughed politely at my jokes.

On Friday we spent most of the afternoon decorating for the luncheon and wedding. My Aunt Sue took my youngest sister Ellen shopping for decorations for the luncheon and I'm told that Ellen came up with most of the decorating ideas herself. Aunt Colleen and my cousin Aubrey came and helped too.

The head table with bottles of bride/groom skittles where Michelle and Donovan and the parents sat.

The happy bride.

FYI: taping tablecloths is a lot of work

Michelle's friend Adam made this poster that they used instead of a guestbook. "Distance means nothing when one has a motive."

Love my sisters!

For the reception we had tables on one side and rows of chairs on the other so that people could move over to the chairs for the program.

Michelle went with a vintage theme for the reception and hired a decorator who already had all the vintage furniture. The final result was very pretty!

In addition to the cake we had some of Michelle and Donovan's favorite things--popcorn, chocolate kisses, licorice, Star Bursts, mini muffins, and Reese's pieces.

Meet my new brother-in-law!

Ellen

Practicing for the program

The next day was the wedding. At one point Melissa, Elizabeth and I were all squished in the downstairs bathroom working on straightening all of Elizabeth's long, thick, curly hair, and then Melissa also fixed Ellen's hair. Fun times. Five girls means lots of hair.

Mom and Dad had to go earlier to the Brigham City Temple with Michelle, and then Melissa and I went a little later. Aunt Sue brought Elizabeth, Ian, and Ellen to the temple for pictures after the sealing. It was so fun to see so much family in the waiting room at the temple. There was lots of hugging. I don't get to see my extended family very much since we don't make it to Utah very often. After what seemed like a long time we went upstairs to the sealing room. My grandma sat with my mom next to Michelle, so I got to sit next to my grandpa and Melissa. After a while Michelle and Donovan came in and they were so excited. The sealer spoke for a while before performing the sealing. He talked about the plan of salvation and making covenants. One insight he shared was about keeping covenants. He talked about how at home he has saved some love notes from his wife and he keeps them because they are special to him. And similarly we keep our covenants. We hold on to them and treasure them because they are special and sacred to us.

Next Michelle and Donovan went to the altar and they were sealed for time and all eternity. There was a special and very peaceful spirit. Then we all got to go hug the bride and groom and then we went outside the temple to wait for them to come out for pictures. I didn't take a lot of pictures outside of the temple because you hire a photographer for a reason, so hopefully at some point Michelle will send me some of those. I was pretty windy and we all felt like our hair was blowing in our faces, but hopefully we still got some good pictures.

Ellen and Ian

My mom's family headed to the church for the luncheon as soon as they could, and everything was pretty much ready by the time we got there. Michelle and Donovan and my parents stayed at the temple longer for more pictures and said we should tell everyone to start eating, so we just got started. I took some bad candid photos of people eating and walking around which weren't especially amazing photos, but they did at least capture the memory.

My charming grandpa.

Dad sang a few of the traditional songs for the luncheon (Sunrise, Sunset; A Love Until the End of Time; maybe there was another one?).

Here's Uncle Jason's Sunrise, Sunset video (poor Mom, they didn't realize until Dad started singing that the sustaining pedal on the piano didn't work at all):



We cleaned up everything from the luncheon (putting it that way makes it sound easy, but it's actually a lot of work) and then there was actually some time before the reception. I think I got a nap, by which I mean I got in bed and jumped forward half an hour in time, so I'm assuming I was unconscious during that half hour, but I had no memory of being asleep. (I think any mom has experienced that kind of nap.)

Things were mostly ready for the reception, but we still went early to do some final prep, mainly making lemonade and popcorn and cutting cake. Just before the reception started we had more pictures in front of the backdrop which I'm assuming I'll see at some point. Michelle had some old mission companions there to help with food and the guest book, so I mainly talked to family.

Michelle asked me to MC the program, and it had been such an emotional weekend that I was a little worried I'd just sob at the microphone, but I held it together and the program was beautiful. I think Michelle asked a friend to record the actual program, but here are some videos I took the night before during the rehearsal when they were working getting the sound system right.

Melissa and Dad singing Perhaps Love:


Dad singing Turn Around:

Michelle also accompanied Dad singing The Men in My Little Girl's Life. When they were practicing I heard Dad say we're not allowed to get married unless we play this song, so it's a good thing Michelle passed the test. :) I didn't get a video of that one, but it was great. We are so blessed to have a wise, insightful, and spiritual man as our father.

After the program Michelle tossed the bouquet and she and Donovan cut the cake. We seriously considered hooking a fishing pole to the bouquet to make sure Melissa would get it, but didn't end up doing it. Fortunately she caught it anyway. After that the reception was pretty much over and Michelle and Donovan left (Aunt Sue got all the kids together to decorate the car). Then there was a bunch of clean-up and all the work of taking presents and supplies back to my parents' house. The living room and kitchen were full. Mom had a billion leftover mini muffins and chocolate kisses.

On Sunday we ate leftover mini muffins and went to church. In the afternoon Michelle and Donovan opened all of their presents and we were able to consolidate things more so there was space in the living room. I got to talk to my dad out on the front step for quite a while that evening.

On Monday my parents and I went to visit my grandparents for a while, which was of course really nice.

My dad took me to the airport that afternoon and I ended up having lots of time before my flight left. Delta is really fancy, by the way. I've never ridden on a flight with TVs before this trip. I didn't watch anything because I brought books to read and I didn't have earbuds, but I did like that I could check the flight status on the screen and see where we were and how much time was left. Unfortunately there was a lot of turbulence, which was no fun because I don't like feeling my insides bouncing around. Flying without kids is pretty fun, though. I got a lot of reading done.

It was great to be back home and see Ryan and the kids again. And my own bed.

Raleigh Natural History Museum

We had a nice time visiting the Capitol and exploring the natural history museum. We've gone a couple of times before, but this time they had a new section that highlights a lot of research that is currently being done. We were able to watch scientists in their labs and see some cool exhibits about meteors (including a piece from the really big one that recently fell in Russia), evolution, and some genetically modified fish (they put coral DNA into their DNA sequence to make them glow in different colors).

Who doesn't love cockroaches? Oh, yeah, pretty much everybody doesn't love cockroaches.

The kids standing in front of a blue whale skeleton.

Big globe (on the inside they project three-story-high videos)

Easter

This year we tried something new for Easter, and I think it is going to become a new tradition. Someone from church shared this link with ideas for how to celebrate Holy Week, and I decided to give it a try. Here is our completed "Holy Week Wall":

On Palm Sunday we made palm leaves and acted out the story of Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey.

On Monday we talked about Jesus cleansing the temple and the kids drew pictures of temples.

On Tuesday we talked about some of the things Jesus taught during Holy Week (the ten virgins and the widow's mite) and the kids drew pictures of the stories. (Kevin just wanted to draw more temple pictures.)

On Wednesday we talked about Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus (the bag on the wall has 30 pieces of authentic silver . . . okay, so I cut out circles from aluminum foil).

On Thursday we had a Passover meal, complete with fish sticks (which are just as gross as I remembered them--next year maybe we'll do tilapia or something), Honey Comb cereal, olives, horseradish sauce (for bitter herbs), grape juice (instead of wine), and tortillas (for unleavened bread--I cooked a couple of the uncooked ones you get from Costco, which, by the way, are very tasty). We put a Little People sheep on the table instead of sacrificing a lamb :). So, you know, it was all very kosher and authentic. :) We talked about what the Passover is and what happened when Jesus celebrated the Passover with his disciples. In particular, we talked about how this was the first time people took the Sacrament.

Traditionally, Friday is when Jesus died on the cross, so we talked about the crucifixion and the events leading up to it.

On Saturday we talked about how Jesus taught the spirits in the Spirit World and how we can do ordinances for the dead in the temple.

And on Sunday we talked about the resurrection!

I've never really done much for Easter in our family. For the first six years of our marriage it was always a busy time with finals and projects, and now I'm busy with kids. I don't really like Easter egg hunts because I stress about all kids getting enough eggs and then the kids end up with a ton of candy and I have to figure out what to do with the plastic eggs for the rest of the year (usually I end up throwing them away because after the Easter egg hunts they're mismatched and that drives me nuts). And I haven't done Easter baskets because (1) it's more work for me and (2) we don't need more plastic junk or toys. But I really enjoyed celebrating the Holy Week with our family and it really brought a special spirit into our home. The kids looked forward to our little lessons every evening and I think they learned a lot. We will probably keep doing this every year, although it will probably look a little different each time as our kids get older and our family changes.

March photos

After a cold winter we were very excited to get a day with perfect weather. (Apparently Ann Marie burns more easily than Kevin and Heidi, so I'll have to be more vigilant with the sunscreen.)

This is why my house is never clean.

The baby doll was sick with a cold and needed her diaper changed too. I opted to laugh about all the baby wipes on the floor and I did think it was sweet of Ann Marie to take such good care of the baby.

Heidi and Ann Marie helped me vote in the Primary. Probably my most frustrating time voting yet. Voting is hard when you're a centrist.

A dad at the playground helped these kids make a teepee.

My grocery shopping buddy.

My kindle died after less than two years. I'm still grieving. The kindle app is working okay on my phone, but I still miss my kindle a lot.

Ann Marie and Danny decided to elope. Or maybe just go balance on the rock wall.

I love the way Ann Marie's hair flips out at her ears. She is a beautiful girl and it is a joy to have her in our family.

One day Heidi said to me, "Mom, our bodies are made of meat. But Jesus's body isn't made of meat. His body is made of bread and water." :)