So what else have we done?

My life does not revolve around being pregnant. Okay, it does, because everything I do has to be negotiated around the temporary addition to my torso as well as the added weight it has brought, but what I mean is that there's more to it than doing baby stuff. I'll prove it.

We went to hear the North Carolina Symphony in the grassy area in Southern Village with some of our friends. We all brought our own dinner and a treat to share, and we watched the concert on blankets and lawn chairs. I really enjoyed the concert. The concert had a movie theme. All of the pieces had been played in a movie. Here's the program, with some of my comments:

1. Richard Strauss: Fanfare from Also sprach Zarathustra, op. 30 (from 2001: A Space Odyssey)
2. Felix Mendelssohn: Symphony no. 4 in A Major, Op. 90, Movement IV Saltarello: Presto (from Breaking Away)
3. Johan Strauss, Jr.: Wiener Blut, Waltzes, Op. 354 (from The Great Waltz) (The director explained that Wiener Blut means Viennese Blood and it's supposed to mean that the piece has the energy that you only find in Viennese Waltzes)
4. Amilcare Ponchielli: Dance of the Hours from La Gioconda (from Fantasia--remember the part where the hippos, ostriches, alligators, and elephants are dancing around? The director was also kind enough to let everyone sing, "Hello, mudda. Hello, fadda. Here I am at Camp Granada" . . . so that people could get it out of their system and enjoy the piece {I appreciated that he said nobody was allowed to sing along while the symphony played.})
5. Richard Wagner: The Ride of the Valkyries from Die Walkure (from Apocalypse Now, and also the Bugs Bunny episode where Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny are dressed in togas and hats with horns like the Valkyries--the only one I remember where Elmer Fudd actually got Bugs, and of all the responses he could give he cried like a baby about it)
6. James Bates: Western Opener (a medley of themes from several different westerns--we came home and watched The Magnificent Seven because I remembered from this piece that I still hadn't seen it)
7. Henry Mancini (arranged by Custer): A Tribute to Henry Mancini (a medley of several different songs by Henry Mancini)
8. Robert Wendel: When TV Was Young (a medley of several different theme songs from TV shows of the 50s--everybody loved this one and a bunch of people danced or sang along. I recognized most of the songs, but RT said he only recognized one--he didn't grow up watching TV).
9. John Williams: They were out of time, so the crowd had the option of hearing Superman March (which was on the program) or Star Wars (which was the encore)--most people seemed to want Star Wars, so that was what they played.

The reason I put the whole program on here, besides that I wanted to comment about several of the pieces, was so that you could see the order the pieces were played in. I think the order was intentional. At the beginning the pieces were classical art music, even though they had been played in movies. Most people wouldn't recognize them from movies. In the middle of the program, the pieces were still classical music, but they were very familiar to the people in the audience (Dance of the Hours was from Fantasia and the basis of a very annoying song about Camp Granada, and Ride of the Valkyries was used in a well-known Bugs Bunny cartoon). The last few songs were pretty much pop music (although I think Star Wars is great music). By arranging the program in this way, the symphony was able to keep it entertaining for the audience. At the beginning everyone was a little more capable of appreciating the great classical music, and at the end when they were a little more tired they still had a great time because they were hearing fun, familiar songs (which were still good music). Pretty smart.

It had been a while since I had gone to hear a symphony concert. I love listening to really good musicians in person. A recording just can't do it justice. The North Carolina Symphony had a really good sound. It was so nice to just sit there and feel the energy and beauty they put into the pieces. Being an oboist myself, I felt like I couldn't get enough of the oboes--they did such a nice job. I haven't had an oboe to play since we left BYU (they had some really, really nice ones that I could borrow for free), and I've really missed it. Someday I'll be able to come back to the oboe again. For now I love to hear good oboe music. I also realized how much I miss playing in a symphony. I got to play the oboe with the Magic Valley Symphony (a community symphony in the area of Twin Falls, Idaho) for a couple of years when I was in high school, and I really loved it. I think I'd rather play in a band or symphony than do an oboe solo.

I also remembered how annoyed I am that some music has been cheapened and ruined because it's been overused or parodied. There's the William Tell Overture, for example--everyone can sing it and even make up parodies using the tune, but I've rarely heard a group play it as art. And of course there's the Dance of the Hours, which nobody can listen to anymore without thinking about Camp Granada. I do appreciate that we've had some fun with those songs, but they will never be the same for me.

One thing I appreciated about the symphony was that even though they were playing fun, familiar songs, they didn't let that ruin their sound. Even in the fun songs at the end they still played with good tone and used dynamics. I remember my band director always had a hard time getting us to play with good tone when we were playing pep band music or arrangements of movie music. As soon as people realized they were playing something familiar they stopped thinking about playing good music. I guess that's what made the NC Symphony good, and my high school band just a high school band.

It was fun to watch a concert in a casual atmosphere like this, rather than in a formal setting like an auditorium. People brought snacks, lawn chairs, and blankets and had a fun time. It was actually much more family friendly than a regular concert. It was the sort of thing you could bring your young children to, because if they were a little wiggly or cried a little bit you didn't have to feel mortified like you would in an auditorium. I intend to keep this sort of thing in mind so that I can still occasionally enjoy a concert while the children are small--and maybe it will help them to appreciate good music.

the last-minute shopping

A couple of weeks ago I did some shopping and bought the last couple of things that I felt like I really had to have before the baby came. It was a great feeling to come home and put them away. The bag for the hospital was packed. I thought I was ready (referring strictly to supplies and such--I am also mentally and emotionally prepared as much as I can be, but it doesn't really seem possible to be completely prepared in those aspects). I do still have a couple of projects that I wanted to finish up, but it was nice to think that if the baby was born today, I would be ready.

Then I started looking through the manual for the car seat and realized that we were going to need a locking clip to put on the seat belt. Oh, no! I thought I had everything! It was no big deal because they only cost a couple of dollars, but Target, Walmart, and Kmart didn't have them (nobody there even knew what I was talking about, which is no surprise since before I did some reading I didn't know what they were either). Plus, the customer service person at Target didn't speak very good English and she hung up on me when I was in the middle of asking her another question, which for some reason made me very upset and stressed. So I caved in and called Babies R Us. Yay! The person who answered the phone knew what I was talking about, AND he was nice. I was determined that I wasn't going to get anything at Babies R Us (I'm not really sure why--maybe because I didn't want to be that nervous first-time mother making a baby registry with that scanner thing while the store clerks tried to convince me that I really did need all those nonessential things like baby wipe warmers and expensive matching crib sets), but if that's where I have to go to get what I need, then fine. And I'm always more inclined to give somebody my business if they are nice to me (in the sincere, helpful way, not the oily, I'm-trying-to-trick-you-so-I-can-get-paid-my-commission way).

So now I have my seat belt locking clip, and once again I am feeling very comfortable knowing that I have gotten everything I need for the baby. So what other essential item did I forget or not think about, and when am I going to realize it?

I'm not feeling terribly positive about being a consumer. I guess it's just that lately I have been getting the impression that there are a lot of people trying to cheat me and get more money from me than their products are worth. Maybe it's because the diaper companies are getting away with cheating new parents by charging large amounts of money for a small package of newborn diapers--which they can get away with since nobody sells that size for a decent price and lots of people need a package or two for the first couple of weeks. (Yes, I have heard about the wonders of cloth diapering--and I'm not going to publish my essay about why I seriously considered it and decided not to do it. Let's just say my reason is not what you would expect. I do think it's an idea worth thinking about, and I've read all the comments and essays about why it's a fabulous idea.) Maybe it's because I've gotten several offers that said I could get a $5 coupon, free shipping, 10% off, or whatever else if I would spend over $100. Maybe it's because Kroger decreased the size of their ice cream containers, then raised the price, then gave me a coupon. I guess I'm getting more experience in the market since I've had to buy things that I never had to get before--maybe the increased exposure has just been a little shocking. Or maybe I just hate spending money, whether I'm getting a good deal or not.

A tribute to my dad for father's day

Recently I read a note that was a sort of list of rules from a protective father to the boys his daughter was going to go out with. You come across things like this all the time in movies and songs--the father sits and cleans his guns or sharpens his knives while telling the boy not to break his daughter's heart or try anything indecent and to be sure to get her home early. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being protective of one's children, because parents should care about their children and do their best to keep them out of harm. But there was always something about this scenario that bothered me. I'm grateful that I never had a need to worry about how my dad would treat a boy if I brought him to meet my family. I don't remember feeling a bit nervous when Ryan came to meet my family at Thanksgiving when we were dating, because I knew my family would try very hard to make him feel comfortable. I've often thought that my dad had a much better method than scaring the boys into being nice to me: First, he taught me that I shouldn't put myself into precarious situations that would hurt me, so I never considered going out with the kind of boy who would make my dad want to get the knives out. Second, he himself was an incredible example of the kind of boy I did want to go out with and ultimately marry. I knew that I wanted the loving and eternal kind of relationship that my parents have, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to find that with just anybody. I wanted to be around young men who were thoughtful and intelligent because that's how my dad is--the shallow, conceited boys never really interested me, no matter how cute they were, because they were boring and didn't value the things that were important to me. Thank you, Dad, for respecting and accepting the person I decided to marry, and for teaching me what I needed to do to have a celestial marriage.

I think the priesthood made a big difference in the atmosphere of our home when I was growing up. That was such a blessing. I can think of a few different times when life seemed to be getting really hard, and the thought came into my head that I needed a blessing from my dad. Those were special experiences, and somehow he knew exactly what needed to be said in the blessing, even if I hadn't told him what was worrying me.

My dad is strong and works so hard. For a while growing up I slept in the room beside the coal furnace, and in the winter I would watch him in the morning while he shoveled coal into it before waking me up. I probably didn't need him to wake me up, but I think I liked listening to him shoveling the coal and looking forward to him opening my door and saying good morning. He took care of the farm pretty much by himself, and he also did a majority of the yard work. It was probably pretty hard work. I remember we had two enormous pine trees in our yard, and once he got underneath them at the bottom and chopped away the lowest branches--the higher branches were still so long that they reached the ground, so both of the trees were like a house, and we had lots of fun playing under them. I thought he was brilliant because he had figured out how to do that. We all liked to go ride with him in the tractors or come with him when he irrigated--which, now that I think about it, probably took up the majority of his farming time. I guess he spent the summers walking or riding along beside the ditches setting up mini-dams and doing his thing with the siphon tubes (I could never figure out how he got the water to flow up the tube and then run down into the fields). I remember the way he smelled when he would come home for lunch--like tractors and plants and soil. I kind of miss that.

When I was in middle school and high school Dad was able to come to several of our field trips, and he even played his trombone with our pep band for a few years. I really enjoyed having him there. I've never been able to understand why kids are ashamed to be seen in public with their parents. I'm proud of mine.

Once he and I were at the Department of Motor Vehicles waiting in line so that I could get a new driver's license (we were required to get a new one at age 18). The line was very long because Driver's Ed was starting the next day and lots of people had procrastinated getting the necessary paperwork done. I found myself looking around at the teenage kids standing in line with their fathers. I could tell there was a difference between their dads and my dad. For one thing, many of the dads there were unshaven, dressed shabbily, and hiding uncombed hair under hats. My dad always has a clean, shaved face and wears clean, respectful clothing, if that makes sense. I appreciated that he puts some care into his appearance. But there was also something more about my dad that those other dads didn't have, and I think it was a different perspective about his role as my father. I think he tries to remember that his calling as a husband and father extends through all eternity. He knows that he is a son of God and that he is part of God's work. Because of that wonderful testimony, there is dignity, faith, and purpose in the way he looks and acts. You can see that difference in his face. I also know that we receive power and increased understanding by receiving the ordinances of the temple, and because my parents were married in the temple they invited that special something to be part of our family.

My three youngest siblings were born after I was twelve, so I remember their births pretty well. I like the memories I have of watching my dad holding them when they were tiny. He loved them. He wanted to be a father. So many people today don't want the burden of a family, but he does want a family. As our baby's birth comes closer, I am feeling excited to see what my husband looks like holding our son. I'm looking forward to watching them play together and seeing Ryan teach our baby about the gospel and many other things. I'm grateful that I am married to somebody who wants to have a family like my dad does.

I found some photos of me with my dad, and I thought they were so cute I wanted to share them:

The day he confirmed me a member of the church (I'm sad that the scan didn't turn out as nice as the actual photo):


I love to accompany my dad on the piano while he sings. He has a beautiful voice and loves to sing for people, and I've always enjoyed making beautiful music with my dad. At our reception on the day Ryan and I got married, Dad sang "The Men in my Little Girl's Life" and "Turn Around." That's a memory I will always treasure. Thanks to Aunt Maria for taking pictures while he sang.

2.5 weeks left

This is all about pregnancy stuff. I promise I really am occupied with many other things besides having a baby.

We are down to about two and a half weeks until the due date--although of course it could be less or more. I've kept thinking the due date would seem soon once I reached three weeks, but it still doesn't seem soon. I guess the baby could come any day now, but it still seems like that day is so far away. I am feeling a little impatient, and this is why: It's boring to wait. I'm not in pain, I'm not sick, I don't have heartburn. Compared to the food aversions I had to deal with for the first four months, this is great. It's just boring to wait when I know that soon my very own baby will be placed in my arms. (Don't worry--it may be boring to wait, but I'm still finding all sorts of things to fill up the time. Laying around complaining about how bored I am would be boring.)

Fortunately for me, I'm not feeling especially miserable. My only complaint is that I feel heavy. I don't roll over at night anymore--it's more like launching over. But other than that it's not that bad. The thought of being pregnant for a couple more weeks doesn't bother me much. A lot of people seem surprised that I am feeling so well. A couple of nights ago when we went to the temple (yes, I sat through the entire session and it wasn't bad at all), one of the workers asked when I was due, and when I told her her eyes got really wide and she said, "Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay?" Really, I'm feeling great. Baby Q seems to be feeling a little cramped, though. Even though it would be nice for this to all be over (although I guess it's not really an ending--more like a beginning), I keep trying to remember that every day that passes before he is born is one more day for the baby to develop and learn to breathe and digest. And I want a healthy baby!

One of my sisters-in-law had a baby in May, and another had her baby yesterday. Events like that have sort of helped break down the time for me. Tiffany having her baby was sort of the last event I was looking forward to before our baby coming. The only thing left to reach is the finish line (not that this is a race!).

A random side note: It still seems kind of weird that I have in-laws. They're not really like in-laws, though. After only a year I feel like they are my family. I love them all so much!

Last week I had to really work to get my wedding ring off. It kind of hurt. I guess my fingers are swelling up a little bit. I haven't been wearing it, and I really miss having it on. Hopefully it will fit again soon.

We took a maternity tour. It was nice to see where everything is and get some of our questions answered. Having an idea of what to expect makes me feel a little more prepared. It seems like the hospital does a good job of taking care of you, but I have a feeling I will be happy when I can come home to finish recovering in familiar surroundings. It's nice that the hospital is only a couple of minutes away.

Monday was the last day of our birth class. I'm glad we took the class. It has been interesting to get to know people who aren't members of our church who are having babies, since I have already known lots of people having babies in our ward. One of the members of our class had already had her baby, and she and her husband came with the baby to tell us about their experiences during the first couple of weeks after he was born. It was nice to hear their thoughts. At the beginning of our class everyone always got a turn to say their name and something good that happened during the week. One person said that her good thing was that she had a gift card to Babies R Us, but she went there and couldn't think of anything that she needed, and she thought it felt really good that she was ready. I decided I felt grateful that I haven't once had to go into Babies R Us!

And here's a picture I took last week when I had exactly four weeks left until the due date. If you compare it to the last picture I do look a little bigger.

one project accomplished

I've heard from a few different people about various pick-your-own strawberry farms around here, and I've been hoping to go to one for several weeks. Today we finally went and picked some strawberries at the Waller Family Farm. I was a little nervous about bending over and crouching to pick the strawberries, but it actually wasn't that uncomfortable for me, which is something to be grateful for. We went to Kroger and bought a couple of other things we needed, and then I made this strawberry freezer jam this afternoon. It was so easy and fast! I'm hoping to do one canning project before the baby comes, but if that doesn't happen I will still be satisfied because I really wanted to at least make the jam. I want to be able to say that I did something other than lay around and read books during the last couple of months before the baby came. It seems like a good time to try something new. I think we will do this every year. It will be a fun thing to do with the kids in a few years too.

I Feel My Savior's Love

I just turned on some music to listen to while I tidied up the living room a little bit, and the first song that started playing was I Feel My Savior's Love, sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. There have been many times throughout my life when this song has touched me and taught me new things about my Savior through the impressions of the Spirit. I think some of my first experiences of feeling the Holy Ghost took place when I was singing this song in primary. There's a reason we teach the little children this song in primary. You can read the entire song here. I'm just going to comment about a few phrases that stuck out in particular to me today.

2. I feel my Savior’s love;
Its gentleness enfolds me,
And when I kneel to pray,
My heart is filled with peace.

This has definitely been true for me many times. There have been times when I was so upset and worried about something that I couldn't stop thinking about it, and in that state I was completely incapable of making a decision or doing anything else (I'm afraid I've always been a worrier--an okay trait if you channel it the right way, but not when you let it get out of control). The only thing that helped was when I finally knelt and sincerely prayed: "Heavenly Father, I am really struggling. I don't know what to do, and I am so worried. Please help me to make the right decision. Please help me to feel peace. Please help me to be able to do this thing that seems too hard for me." It is the most beautiful feeling to put myself into His gentle hands and let Him heal and help me, to feel the Spirit witness that He loves me, that Christ understands the pain I am feeling because He experienced my sorrows, that if I trust in the Lord I will be able to accomplish whatever I am commanded to do, that I will be given the help I need to fulfill my responsibilities or find the answer to my problem. I have felt all of those things many times, and it really did fill my heart with peace--and not peace like the world can give us, but real, lasting peace.

3. I feel my Savior’s love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.

Chorus
He knows I will follow him,
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior’s love,
The love he freely gives me.

I know that our Savior loves us. He did something that we couldn't do four ourselves--he made it possible for us to return to Heavenly Father, rather than forever remaining in our sins and being cut off from the presence of the Lord. He satisfied the demands of justice and provided mercy for all of us who will accept that gift, repent of our sins, and be cleaned and purified. He suffered every pain we have experienced so that He would know how to help us, and He does help us. I have prayed for that many times, and I was filled with hope that things will work out. I think once I see things with a better perspective, I realize again that my little challenges are nothing compared to the wonderful things I have been blessed with, as well as the wonderful things I have been promised if I am faithful--and if I believe that, how can I not feel hope? I hope that I can be better at always remembering my Savior and that I can be more committed to dedicating my entire life to His great and marvelous work.