I also have been blessed to know two of my great-grandmothers, so I thought I would write down a few memories that I have of them.
Grandma Taylor
Adelaide Collings Taylor was my Grandma Lois's mother. Here are some of my memories of her:
When we visited her in Wendell, Idaho, she had a bag with feather dusters and matchbox cars that we could play with. She had two large braided rugs on her floor that we used to drive the cars on like roads. It was fun to examine all the fabric that had been used to make the rugs. I remember a couple of cow clocks and a large old black stove. She had a black upright piano that was pretty out-of-tune. One time my mom and my siblings and I were visiting at the same time as Grandma Lois, and we sang hymns while my mom played the piano. It was a really nice experience and I remember Grandma Taylor really enjoyed it.
Grandma Taylor always encouraged us to be good to our mother and help her.
She always wore an apron, but they weren't like the aprons most people think of. They were kind of like a short sleeveless dress that buttoned down the front and had two pockets in the front. Now that I'm a mom and do most of the cooking I've often wished I had an apron or two like that because they have a lot better coverage and you wouldn't have to deal with the apron strings. Usually when I think of her I remember her sitting in the rocking chair wearing one of those aprons.
My mom's family lived in Wendell for several years, so there was a connection between my Grammy and Grandma Taylor. Apparently Grandma Taylor was my mom's brother Jay's Sunday School teacher for a few years, and she really loved my Uncle Jay. This isn't how my parents met, by the way--they met at an institute dance at the College of Southern Idaho.
My mom said that Grandma Taylor really welcomed her into the family when she married my dad, and she also helped Mom start to build a year's supply.
4-H was really important to her. I seem to recall Grandma Lois telling a story about how she ran back into a burning house to rescue all of the 4-H ribbons.
Grandma Velma
I remember that I really loved Grandma Velma. When she came to visit I always enjoyed talking to her, and she was a good listener.
One of my earliest memories is of going to her house in Kimberly and eating applesauce cake. Applesauce cake is basically sugar cookies stacked on top of each other with applesauce spread in between them, and it's best if you freeze it for about six months before eating it.
I remember she had an organ and a grand piano (which Grandma and Grandpa Glenn have now). She had a little bird that I always liked to look at. Her clothesline was the kind that spins, and I always thought it was pretty cool. I also remember an apple tree.
I think I was about eight years old when she died. The last time I saw her, she was at my grandparents' house and was pretty sick. I was really surprised because she didn't even smile at me, which was so out of character for her. I cried at her funeral because I was very sad. I also felt the Holy Ghost very strongly there and knew that someday she would be resurrected and I would see her again.
Ruby Snow
I never met Ruby Snow, but she did a lot of family history, so I've gotten to know her through the life histories she wrote of herself and many of her ancestors. She is my Grammy's mother. I'm really impressed by her. She and her first husband (Jesse Warren) moved to Idaho in the middle of nowhere and built their farm up from nothing. They pretty much worked all of the time. I have no idea how they did so much. Then Jesse died of appendicitis and she and her children moved back to her hometown of Mapleton. Later she married my great-grandfather, Hans Peter Jensen, and had more children. She loved her callings in church, sewing, and her family.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Meet My Grandmas
Family Search sent out an email recrently challenging people to write down some things about their grandmothers, and since I have two wonderful grandmothers who have greatly influenced my life, I am more than happy to accept the challenge.
Grandma Lois
My Grandma Lois taught me how to sew. I spent a significant portion of my summers each year at her house doing my 4-H sewing projects, and those are some of my favorite memories of her. When I was working on something difficult and got frustrated, she would always tell me, "Try not to get discouraged." She never got upset at me when I made mistakes. She always stayed calm. One time when I was using a serger to sew a skirt, I caught a piece of the skirt under the blade and it cut the middle of the fabric. I was pretty upset that I had ruined the skirt, but she calmly assessed the damage and helped me come up with a way to salvage it. Another time, I tried winding a new bobbin by myself, but I forgot to wind the thread around the knob at the other side of the sewing machine. Without the tension the thread got wound around the bobbin in a nasty tangled mess. I thought she would be so mad because I had let it wind up for quite a while before realizing what I had done, but she just said, "It's okay, thread is cheap," and then showed me how to do it the right way. I don't think I've ever seen her get angry. She is a very patient person.
My grandma has always loved to be a mentor. She led a 4-H club for many, many years, and as part of that she was able to get to know many girls and encourage them to become more than they thought they could be. She still stays in contact with many of the girls who were in her club and she loves it when she finds out about their achievements. I've mentioned this before on my blog, but she stuck by me during some of the hardest years of my life and made it clear that she would not let me fail.
I always thought that Grandma was a very classy and well-bred person. She has always faithfully and lovingly tended to her garden. I think at one point someone said she had 100 rose bushes in Kimberly. You can tell if she's visiting because she wears this lovely perfume that smells like flowers and doesn't make you feel like you're suffocating if you get a whiff of it.
I enjoyed spending the night at Grandma's house in Kimberly. She had the best bathtub ever. It was huge and square, and when you were done taking a bath the towels were right there in the cupboard and they were nice and big and soft. The bathroom mirror was also fun because it had three sections with hinges and if you pulled the side sections to just the right spot then you could see the mirror reflect itself forever. There was a pole in the basement living room that we climbed a lot. Outside there was a well house that we would play on for hours, and there was a really awesome bush that had a little alcove in it that was great for imaginative play. I remember spending a lot of time mixing witches' brews and pretend soups in a plastic Halloween pumpkin there.
Here is some of the best advice I have received from Grandma (this was after Kevin cut Heidi's hair): "May I offer some unasked for advice? It has been my experience that it is not possible to reason with children before they reach the age of accountability. It is better to just keep the scissors or other offending objects out of reach. For the most part children want to please their parents, so when they do something wrong it is not their objective to make the parent unhappy. They are just curious and don't think about the consequences of their actions . . . I had learned that anger is never productive and focusing on making things better was helpful. Derald and I learned to just laugh about a spilled glass of milk and clean up the mess. Getting angry just makes it worse. Please all of you enjoy and treasure the time you have with your little ones."
Grammy Jenna
I think my siblings and I are the only grandchildren who call her Grammy. She heard about another grandmother whose grandchildren called her Grammy and decided that she wanted to be Grammy Jenna. For a few years she volunteered at the elementary school and the kids there called her Grammy Jenna too.
Grammy loved her family. I vividly remember a time when we went to visit her and we found her talking on the phone, obviously very upset. When she hung up the phone she burst into tears and said, "Oh, Gaylene, it's Rex. It's his heart." (Rex is my Aunt Colleen's husband, so my mom's brother-in-law.) I was startled to see by the look on her face how dearly she loved him. My mom said that when Uncle Ricky was killed in a motorcycle accident she packed up her bags and drove to Utah in the middle of the night to be with Aunt Marsha. I remember she loved hugging and snuggling my younger siblings, and she would sneak them tastes of ice cream even when they were just a few months old.
I can still remember Grammy's laugh. It was so joyful and genuine. We used to love to tickle her toes to get her to laugh.
Instead of saying, "Excuse me," if she wanted to get past you, Grammy would say, "Toot, toot!" She also would say, "It's time to put on your shoes and stockings." When we got to her house she would smile and exclaim, "Well who are you?"
Grammy worked hard her entire life. She went to school to become a nurse so they could make ends meet, and she worked nights a lot of the time.
We always loved sleepovers at Grammy's house, and we would fight over who got to sleep in her bed with her. I remember watching movies and getting pizza and lemonade from Maxie's Pizza.
We always watched General Conference at Grammy's house on Sundays, and we would have a nice dinner in between the sessions. I know there was always green bean casserole, and for dessert we would eat razzleberry pie.
Once when I was little, Grammy was babysitting Melissa and me while my parents were somewhere. She had some plaster of paris and she wanted to put our handprints and the date in it and give them to my parents. I was not going to put my hand in that nasty white stuff, and she had to chase me pretty hard before she eventually managed to catch me and get my handprint.
Grammy was very talented with crocheting. She crocheted the amazing dress that my sisters and I were blessed in as babies, and Heidi and Ann Marie were blessed in the dress too.
The day my Grammy died, I was sitting in a class when I noticed that I had an empty feeling. After school, Grandma Lois was the one who gave me a hug and tenderly told me that Grammy had died. It wasn't really a surprise because she had been sick, but it was still very hard because we had spent a lot of time with her my entire life. I think it was really hard for my mom because she had been coming to Grammy's house on at least a daily basis to take care of her and she missed serving her and being with her.
Grandma Lois
My Grandma Lois taught me how to sew. I spent a significant portion of my summers each year at her house doing my 4-H sewing projects, and those are some of my favorite memories of her. When I was working on something difficult and got frustrated, she would always tell me, "Try not to get discouraged." She never got upset at me when I made mistakes. She always stayed calm. One time when I was using a serger to sew a skirt, I caught a piece of the skirt under the blade and it cut the middle of the fabric. I was pretty upset that I had ruined the skirt, but she calmly assessed the damage and helped me come up with a way to salvage it. Another time, I tried winding a new bobbin by myself, but I forgot to wind the thread around the knob at the other side of the sewing machine. Without the tension the thread got wound around the bobbin in a nasty tangled mess. I thought she would be so mad because I had let it wind up for quite a while before realizing what I had done, but she just said, "It's okay, thread is cheap," and then showed me how to do it the right way. I don't think I've ever seen her get angry. She is a very patient person.
My grandma has always loved to be a mentor. She led a 4-H club for many, many years, and as part of that she was able to get to know many girls and encourage them to become more than they thought they could be. She still stays in contact with many of the girls who were in her club and she loves it when she finds out about their achievements. I've mentioned this before on my blog, but she stuck by me during some of the hardest years of my life and made it clear that she would not let me fail.
I always thought that Grandma was a very classy and well-bred person. She has always faithfully and lovingly tended to her garden. I think at one point someone said she had 100 rose bushes in Kimberly. You can tell if she's visiting because she wears this lovely perfume that smells like flowers and doesn't make you feel like you're suffocating if you get a whiff of it.
I enjoyed spending the night at Grandma's house in Kimberly. She had the best bathtub ever. It was huge and square, and when you were done taking a bath the towels were right there in the cupboard and they were nice and big and soft. The bathroom mirror was also fun because it had three sections with hinges and if you pulled the side sections to just the right spot then you could see the mirror reflect itself forever. There was a pole in the basement living room that we climbed a lot. Outside there was a well house that we would play on for hours, and there was a really awesome bush that had a little alcove in it that was great for imaginative play. I remember spending a lot of time mixing witches' brews and pretend soups in a plastic Halloween pumpkin there.
Here is some of the best advice I have received from Grandma (this was after Kevin cut Heidi's hair): "May I offer some unasked for advice? It has been my experience that it is not possible to reason with children before they reach the age of accountability. It is better to just keep the scissors or other offending objects out of reach. For the most part children want to please their parents, so when they do something wrong it is not their objective to make the parent unhappy. They are just curious and don't think about the consequences of their actions . . . I had learned that anger is never productive and focusing on making things better was helpful. Derald and I learned to just laugh about a spilled glass of milk and clean up the mess. Getting angry just makes it worse. Please all of you enjoy and treasure the time you have with your little ones."
Grammy Jenna
I think my siblings and I are the only grandchildren who call her Grammy. She heard about another grandmother whose grandchildren called her Grammy and decided that she wanted to be Grammy Jenna. For a few years she volunteered at the elementary school and the kids there called her Grammy Jenna too.
Grammy loved her family. I vividly remember a time when we went to visit her and we found her talking on the phone, obviously very upset. When she hung up the phone she burst into tears and said, "Oh, Gaylene, it's Rex. It's his heart." (Rex is my Aunt Colleen's husband, so my mom's brother-in-law.) I was startled to see by the look on her face how dearly she loved him. My mom said that when Uncle Ricky was killed in a motorcycle accident she packed up her bags and drove to Utah in the middle of the night to be with Aunt Marsha. I remember she loved hugging and snuggling my younger siblings, and she would sneak them tastes of ice cream even when they were just a few months old.
I can still remember Grammy's laugh. It was so joyful and genuine. We used to love to tickle her toes to get her to laugh.
Instead of saying, "Excuse me," if she wanted to get past you, Grammy would say, "Toot, toot!" She also would say, "It's time to put on your shoes and stockings." When we got to her house she would smile and exclaim, "Well who are you?"
Grammy worked hard her entire life. She went to school to become a nurse so they could make ends meet, and she worked nights a lot of the time.
We always loved sleepovers at Grammy's house, and we would fight over who got to sleep in her bed with her. I remember watching movies and getting pizza and lemonade from Maxie's Pizza.
We always watched General Conference at Grammy's house on Sundays, and we would have a nice dinner in between the sessions. I know there was always green bean casserole, and for dessert we would eat razzleberry pie.
Once when I was little, Grammy was babysitting Melissa and me while my parents were somewhere. She had some plaster of paris and she wanted to put our handprints and the date in it and give them to my parents. I was not going to put my hand in that nasty white stuff, and she had to chase me pretty hard before she eventually managed to catch me and get my handprint.
Grammy was very talented with crocheting. She crocheted the amazing dress that my sisters and I were blessed in as babies, and Heidi and Ann Marie were blessed in the dress too.
games the kids like to play
Lately one of the kids' favorite games to play is Doctor. Kevin is usually Doctor Alice, and Heidi is usually Doctor Morgan. Ann Marie is the patient, of course. In a typical visit she generally receives multiple shots, has her blood pressure taken a few times, and gets several zaps from the defibrillators (i.e. the toy vacuum or the toy digger). This game requires close supervision, obviously.
Kevin likes bean bag fights. He's only allowed to have them with me or Dad, and only if we're not holding the baby, because he throws the bean bags really hard and it hurts.
Heidi loves to reenact scenes from Frozen. She has a lot of the songs and scenes memorized. She will knock on the door and say, "Elsa, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been, etc." or she will lie on the floor and do the scene where Christoff is in the barn and Ana is trying to get him to take her to the north mountain. I'm getting a kick out of it because I was a huge fan of princesses when I was little and I'm enjoying seeing her playing Princess like I did.
Heidi burned her thumb (the one she prefers to suck) on the heating element of my food dehydrator about a week and a half ago. She's been going through bandaids like Halloween candy. By the end of the day she had gotten a blister over the burn, so I was trying to protect it with bandaids, but it popped anyway, which made it a little more painful if she bumped it. I tried to give it some air sometimes so her thumb didn't end up a gooey germ-infested mess, but whenever I did that there were a lot of tears. I'm so glad that it's mostly better now and I don't have to keep picking up used bandaids, which is just gross.
For Heidi, the highlight of the first week of school was getting a new package of underwear.
Ann Marie enjoys nose beeps and peekaboo.
Kevin likes bean bag fights. He's only allowed to have them with me or Dad, and only if we're not holding the baby, because he throws the bean bags really hard and it hurts.
Heidi loves to reenact scenes from Frozen. She has a lot of the songs and scenes memorized. She will knock on the door and say, "Elsa, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been, etc." or she will lie on the floor and do the scene where Christoff is in the barn and Ana is trying to get him to take her to the north mountain. I'm getting a kick out of it because I was a huge fan of princesses when I was little and I'm enjoying seeing her playing Princess like I did.
Heidi burned her thumb (the one she prefers to suck) on the heating element of my food dehydrator about a week and a half ago. She's been going through bandaids like Halloween candy. By the end of the day she had gotten a blister over the burn, so I was trying to protect it with bandaids, but it popped anyway, which made it a little more painful if she bumped it. I tried to give it some air sometimes so her thumb didn't end up a gooey germ-infested mess, but whenever I did that there were a lot of tears. I'm so glad that it's mostly better now and I don't have to keep picking up used bandaids, which is just gross.
For Heidi, the highlight of the first week of school was getting a new package of underwear.
Ann Marie enjoys nose beeps and peekaboo.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
I don't do it all.
I think sometimes people are impressed with my bread-baking, cloth diapering, piano-playing, sewing, reading, and whatever else and they get intimidated because they think I do it all. I just wanted to clarify that I don't do it all and that sometimes I feel the same way to other people who have talents that I don't. Nobody does it all. There isn't time.
I am not a good photographer, and while I'm not satisfied with my pictures, I don't care enough to learn how because I would rather do other things.
I am not a good photographer, and while I'm not satisfied with my pictures, I don't care enough to learn how because I would rather do other things.
I don't crochet or knit.
I don't make fancy wall decorations and my picture frames don't match.
I don't decorate cakes. I don't care that our birthday cakes are cake mix with frosting slathered on top. I don't even like cake. I don't do themes or activities for our birthday parties and I rarely even invite friends over to celebrate with us.
I don't do crafty things with my kids very much.
We never go to story time at the library.
I didn't do anything creative or cute or clever on Kevin's first day of school. I packed his lunch and snack and made him get dressed and eat and then Ryan took his picture. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
I don't make fancy wall decorations and my picture frames don't match.
I don't decorate cakes. I don't care that our birthday cakes are cake mix with frosting slathered on top. I don't even like cake. I don't do themes or activities for our birthday parties and I rarely even invite friends over to celebrate with us.
I don't do crafty things with my kids very much.
We never go to story time at the library.
I didn't do anything creative or cute or clever on Kevin's first day of school. I packed his lunch and snack and made him get dressed and eat and then Ryan took his picture. And I'm perfectly fine with that.
The fabric from one of my "recent" sewing projects has been sitting in a wadded up ball under my sewing table for several months.
I like Ramen and Hamburger Helper Chicken Enchilada Rice occasionally.
I don't go out of my way to buy organic food. (We do eat a very healthy diet with a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains.) I also don't buy quinoa, kale, or seaweed, nor do I substitute flour with mashed cauliflower and claim that I love it. I also have to curb my tendency to be very judgmental of people who go to food extremes.
My kids eat cereal a lot. Sometimes for breakfast and lunch on the same day.
I have a temper. I also have to use a lot of willpower sometimes to let my kids give me hugs because sometimes I hate being touched.
I haven't worn makeup for a couple of months.
I don't have a single pair of high heels.
I don't wear trendy clothes.
I haven't worn makeup for a couple of months.
I don't have a single pair of high heels.
I don't wear trendy clothes.
I tend to change back into my pajamas in the middle of the afternoon (if not earlier) most days.
I would rather take a nap than take a shower (and yes, I do forego showers for the sake of napping, for everyone's sake).
Kevin watched a movie almost every day this past summer so I could take a nap, and sometimes I let him watch the movie twice. (Now that he's in school we are not keeping up this habit.)
I spend too much time on the internet.
I am terrible at sports and I've never cared enough to try to get better. I am also frequently guilty of foregoing exercise because I don't want to sweat.
Cleaning the bathrooms is pretty low on my priority list.
Whenever I plan activities they are extraordinarily poorly-attended.
Cleaning the bathrooms is pretty low on my priority list.
Whenever I plan activities they are extraordinarily poorly-attended.
I have other worse faults that I don't want to admit on my blog.
stuff
I started Couch to 5K on August 19, so it's been about a month since I did it for the first time. The first week went pretty well. I could tell at the end of the week that I was getting better because the last couple of running intervals weren't as hard. For the second week, I decided to repeat the week one routine, but I skipped the third day of running because I was feeling sore. The third week, I ran on Monday (repeated week 1 for the third time) and it was really hard. My knees were really sore and I wasn't sure if it was a bad kind of sore or muscle soreness, but at any rate the pain was bad enough that I didn't do anything cardio that week except walk about half a mile one day. So I took a break for that week. I did some research and asked friends for advice, and I learned some things about proper form and decided to ditch my new shoes and go back to my old ones. I started up again for a fourth week, repeating the week 1 routine one more time, and that week went a lot better. This past week I finally moved up to the week 2 routine and it went pretty well. My calves are feeling sore, but I'm not worried about that because I can tell it's the good kind of pain like you get from working muscles that aren't used to exercising. I'm going to repeat the week 2 routine again this week. I can tell that my lungs and heart are in a lot better shape already. The main thing is that my leg muscles need to get stronger before I can run for longer intervals.
On Friday after we picked Kevin up from the bus, he dashed off and ran up the hill, wanting to check on our garden (the neglected one that only has dead plants in it). I didn't want to do that because it was hot and Heidi didn't have any shoes (and there wasn't anything to check because all of our plants have died), but he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to come back. The cool thing was that I was able to run after him. Before I started doing Couch to 5K I couldn't really have done that. I got tired too fast to be able to run after him for very long. This was one of the main reasons I started running. I don't know if I'll ever get fast enough to keep up with him, but I wanted to be able to "run and not be weary" so that I can keep up with my kids better (and play with them more!), so that has been a blessing. And even though sometimes I feel like Jello after doing a run, I also love that feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration afterwards. It really helps my self-esteem to know that I am doing something for my health and to feel the power that my body has. I've also been going to a Pilates class and lifting weights at the YMCA when I can. Heidi can do all of the puzzles at Child Watch in the time that I do a workout.
Kevin is enjoying school. In the evenings he will often get a piece of paper and sit and practice writing letters and numbers, which was something he would very rarely do before school started. He's improving a lot.
Some people in our ward have started a playgroup for kids that are Heidi's age. I've been asked by various people if I was putting Heidi in. I haven't really felt a strong need this year to do anything like that. Right now I feel like she needs to be home with me. She really is a sweetheart, and I enjoy having her around. She likes to help me fold washcloths and diapers, read books, and color.
You would think that now that I've graduated and Kevin is in school I would have a lot of extra time, but the reality is that I'm busier than ever, and I'm not sure why. Other than the meals, changing diapers, and feeding the baby, it seems like most days I can only manage to do one more thing. It's hard to keep up. I'm trying to become okay with that and realize that this is not a clean house season in my life.
I haven't been participating in social things as much lately. It's probably largely because Ryan's at work all day now that I'm not in school, so at the end of the day I usually would rather spend the evening with him than go to the girls night or whatever.
This week I got to go do an endowment session at the temple. On Wednesday I was feeling really overwhelmed by my responsibilities and some decisions I needed to make, and I had a very strong prompting that I needed to go to the temple the next day, so I made the call right away and scheduled an appointment for Thursday. It was a really special experience. As I approached the doors I was already in tears because it felt so, so good to be at the temple and I knew I would be in the presence of Heavenly Father there. I gained a lot of insights during the endowment session, and as I was praying in the Celestial room afterwards I got some answers to some questions I had. I also had a strong impression that God and His angels were there in the temple, including my ancestors, and that my family members who have died are helping me with my work as a mother because they want our righteous branch to continue. I probably have not felt the Spirit this strongly in the temple since I received my own endowment six years ago, so it was a really good day.
Kevin and Heidi started soccer yesterday, so hopefully they will enjoy that. Kevin is the tallest on his team, and Heidi is the shortest on her team by a head.
Yesterday was our annual Stake Women's Day. It's kind of like Super Saturday, except there is a much wider variety of classes (not just crafts). In the past I've attended classes about couponing, making ties for boys, managing finances, raising children, food storage, various spiritual topics, and more. This year the classes I chose were about building our children's strengths, making the most of attending the temple, and self defense. The self defense class was really interesting. The two main things I learned were that if you feel like you're in danger, you should head for lights and lots of people--not the bathroom or your car--and that the most important thing you can do to avoid being a victim of violence is to be aware and avoid getting into unsafe situations. We learned a few basic self-defense maneuvers, but I realized that for those to be useful you really would need to practice self-defense enough that those moves are instinctive.
Ann Marie rolled over from back to front on Tuesday. So now she sometimes has the problem where she gets on her tummy, plays for a while, then gets too tired to remember that she knows how to roll back over.
On Friday after we picked Kevin up from the bus, he dashed off and ran up the hill, wanting to check on our garden (the neglected one that only has dead plants in it). I didn't want to do that because it was hot and Heidi didn't have any shoes (and there wasn't anything to check because all of our plants have died), but he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to come back. The cool thing was that I was able to run after him. Before I started doing Couch to 5K I couldn't really have done that. I got tired too fast to be able to run after him for very long. This was one of the main reasons I started running. I don't know if I'll ever get fast enough to keep up with him, but I wanted to be able to "run and not be weary" so that I can keep up with my kids better (and play with them more!), so that has been a blessing. And even though sometimes I feel like Jello after doing a run, I also love that feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration afterwards. It really helps my self-esteem to know that I am doing something for my health and to feel the power that my body has. I've also been going to a Pilates class and lifting weights at the YMCA when I can. Heidi can do all of the puzzles at Child Watch in the time that I do a workout.
Kevin is enjoying school. In the evenings he will often get a piece of paper and sit and practice writing letters and numbers, which was something he would very rarely do before school started. He's improving a lot.
Some people in our ward have started a playgroup for kids that are Heidi's age. I've been asked by various people if I was putting Heidi in. I haven't really felt a strong need this year to do anything like that. Right now I feel like she needs to be home with me. She really is a sweetheart, and I enjoy having her around. She likes to help me fold washcloths and diapers, read books, and color.
You would think that now that I've graduated and Kevin is in school I would have a lot of extra time, but the reality is that I'm busier than ever, and I'm not sure why. Other than the meals, changing diapers, and feeding the baby, it seems like most days I can only manage to do one more thing. It's hard to keep up. I'm trying to become okay with that and realize that this is not a clean house season in my life.
I haven't been participating in social things as much lately. It's probably largely because Ryan's at work all day now that I'm not in school, so at the end of the day I usually would rather spend the evening with him than go to the girls night or whatever.
This week I got to go do an endowment session at the temple. On Wednesday I was feeling really overwhelmed by my responsibilities and some decisions I needed to make, and I had a very strong prompting that I needed to go to the temple the next day, so I made the call right away and scheduled an appointment for Thursday. It was a really special experience. As I approached the doors I was already in tears because it felt so, so good to be at the temple and I knew I would be in the presence of Heavenly Father there. I gained a lot of insights during the endowment session, and as I was praying in the Celestial room afterwards I got some answers to some questions I had. I also had a strong impression that God and His angels were there in the temple, including my ancestors, and that my family members who have died are helping me with my work as a mother because they want our righteous branch to continue. I probably have not felt the Spirit this strongly in the temple since I received my own endowment six years ago, so it was a really good day.
Kevin and Heidi started soccer yesterday, so hopefully they will enjoy that. Kevin is the tallest on his team, and Heidi is the shortest on her team by a head.
Yesterday was our annual Stake Women's Day. It's kind of like Super Saturday, except there is a much wider variety of classes (not just crafts). In the past I've attended classes about couponing, making ties for boys, managing finances, raising children, food storage, various spiritual topics, and more. This year the classes I chose were about building our children's strengths, making the most of attending the temple, and self defense. The self defense class was really interesting. The two main things I learned were that if you feel like you're in danger, you should head for lights and lots of people--not the bathroom or your car--and that the most important thing you can do to avoid being a victim of violence is to be aware and avoid getting into unsafe situations. We learned a few basic self-defense maneuvers, but I realized that for those to be useful you really would need to practice self-defense enough that those moves are instinctive.
Ann Marie rolled over from back to front on Tuesday. So now she sometimes has the problem where she gets on her tummy, plays for a while, then gets too tired to remember that she knows how to roll back over.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Everybody deserves to have friends.
With Kevin starting school I've been processing a lot of memories from my school days. I've been thinking a lot about some of the kids who I remember struggled a lot in school. These were the kids who didn't have any immediately apparent disabilities and looked normal to me, but as an adult I can look back and see that many of them were dealing with ADHD, sensory processing disorders, mild autism, dyslexia, and others. It was easy to be nice to Sophia ("the wheel-chair girl") and Stevie (the deaf guy in our ward) because to me their disabilities were obvious and I knew from Primary that you should be nice to those people. But ADHD and SPD are much less obvious and I didn't understood at the time that the kids who were struggling with things like that were having behavior problems and struggling with their schoolwork for reasons that weren't completely in their control. Those kids were made fun of a lot and had a really hard time making friends, and I think a lot of the "normal" kids didn't realize it was just as wrong to make fun of these people as it is to make fun of someone who can't walk. I don't remember making fun of those kids who were struggling, but in retrospect I wish I could have understood how much they needed a friend and that I had taken some time to be a true friend to them. I hope I can help my kids recognize those kids and be willing to help them, because everybody deserves to have friends.
If you have any suggestions, please share.
If you have any suggestions, please share.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
men and women according to Mulan
We've been listening to the soundtrack from Mulan in the car lately, and I've been struck by the differences in the men and women's perspectives about relationships and the opposite gender in the movie as demonstrated in the songs Honor to Us All and A Girl Worth Fighting For. I thought I'd do a compare and contrast to show the differences. Keep in mind that I don't necessarily think these are a good representation of what men and women think (either in Western culture or Chinese culture), but there are some good/true points here.
What the women think the men want:
"Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist."
What the men really want:
"I want her paler than the
moon with eyes that
shine like stars."
"My girl will marvel at
my strength, adore my
battle scars."
"I couldn't care less what she'll
wear or what she looks like.
It all depends on what
she cooks like."
"My girl will think I have no faults,
That I'm a major find."
So the women think that the men want girls to be good housewives and have a nice figure. Some of the men do want nice-looking girls, but it seems like the main thing they want is someone who admires them and takes care of them and is willing to overlook their faults (which can be a good thing, depending on how the wife goes about it).
What the men think the women want:
"My girl will marvel at
my strength, adore my
battle scars."
"And I'll bet the ladies love
a man in armor."
"My manly ways and turn of
phrase are sure to thrill her."
"But when we come home
in victory they'll line up
at the door."
What the women actually want:
"Boys will gladly go to war for you."
"Please look kindly on
these cultured pearls,
Each a perfect porcelain doll."
"Ancestors,
Hear my plea:
Help me not to make a
fool of me
And to not uproot
my family tree.
Keep my father standing tall."
So the men think that women want them to be manly and that they admire soldiers. That is mentioned in Honor to Us All, but the women are by far more preoccupied with bringing honor to their families (based on what I read in the book Wild Swans this is fairly representative of Chinese culture before World War II and the rise of the Communist Party there) and being the model of a perfect woman, which isn't actually that related to what the men think of them. It's more about what their society, especially the other women, think of them. I think this is interesting because I've noticed that women are often a lot more preoccupied with how other women perceive them than they are about how men perceive them. We dress to impress other women to show that we are put together and look nice, and we try to give the impression that we are great at taking care of our homes and such. And we do it while partly thinking that we're doing it to impress our husbands when really what the men want more than a picture-perfect housewife is someone to support and love them despite their imperfections.
(I realize that this isn't necessarily true for all men and women, but it's pretty common, and besides, this is just a fun little exercise, so don't take me too seriously.)
What the women think the men want:
"Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist."
What the men really want:
"I want her paler than the
moon with eyes that
shine like stars."
"My girl will marvel at
my strength, adore my
battle scars."
"I couldn't care less what she'll
wear or what she looks like.
It all depends on what
she cooks like."
"My girl will think I have no faults,
That I'm a major find."
So the women think that the men want girls to be good housewives and have a nice figure. Some of the men do want nice-looking girls, but it seems like the main thing they want is someone who admires them and takes care of them and is willing to overlook their faults (which can be a good thing, depending on how the wife goes about it).
What the men think the women want:
"My girl will marvel at
my strength, adore my
battle scars."
"And I'll bet the ladies love
a man in armor."
"My manly ways and turn of
phrase are sure to thrill her."
"But when we come home
in victory they'll line up
at the door."
What the women actually want:
"Boys will gladly go to war for you."
"Please look kindly on
these cultured pearls,
Each a perfect porcelain doll."
"Ancestors,
Hear my plea:
Help me not to make a
fool of me
And to not uproot
my family tree.
Keep my father standing tall."
So the men think that women want them to be manly and that they admire soldiers. That is mentioned in Honor to Us All, but the women are by far more preoccupied with bringing honor to their families (based on what I read in the book Wild Swans this is fairly representative of Chinese culture before World War II and the rise of the Communist Party there) and being the model of a perfect woman, which isn't actually that related to what the men think of them. It's more about what their society, especially the other women, think of them. I think this is interesting because I've noticed that women are often a lot more preoccupied with how other women perceive them than they are about how men perceive them. We dress to impress other women to show that we are put together and look nice, and we try to give the impression that we are great at taking care of our homes and such. And we do it while partly thinking that we're doing it to impress our husbands when really what the men want more than a picture-perfect housewife is someone to support and love them despite their imperfections.
(I realize that this isn't necessarily true for all men and women, but it's pretty common, and besides, this is just a fun little exercise, so don't take me too seriously.)
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
first week of school
Ann Marie is three months old now! She rolled over from tummy to back on Tuesday (Aug. 26). She has taken longer to roll over than the other two kids (Kevin did it at 2 months and Heidi did it at 3 weeks [!]), but it still seems early. I think she will probably figure out rolling from back to tummy soon too. She gets most of the way there, but then she finds her thumb and starts sucking on it instead of going the rest of the way. I have to hold her or put her in a baby seat with me in the kitchen a lot to protect her from the kids, so she doesn't get as much floor time as Kevin and Heidi did. She has started laughing. One of her favorite games is when I touch my nose to hers and say, "Beep." It makes her giggle hysterically. At her two-month appointment she weighed 12 lbs. 6 oz, so I'm guessing she's probably around 13 lbs. now.
I think Kevin had a good first week at Kindergarten. He was disappointed on Saturday morning that he didn't get to go to school. He also took a nap that afternoon of his own initiative, which was the first time in many months. He doesn't talk about Kindergarten much, but occasionally he mentions things. Here are a few of my favorite things he said this week:
"The cafeteria is this place at school, and it has a restaurant in it."
"My bus driver is a farmer. He was doing naughty things because he just drove past Baity Hill and didn't stop."
"At school there are rules, like no running, and respect others."
(Not school related)
Me: What are you eating? Spit that out right now!
Kevin: (spits out wrapper) I think it was some kind of wrapper at some point.
(Name that movie.)
Heidi was very upset that she didn't get to go to school with Kevin at first, but she is also enjoying that she gets to have the toys all to herself for a while every day. It's certainly quieter during the day without Kevin's noises, and the house stays cleaner too.
I am on week 3 of Couch to 5K, but I am repeating the first week for the third time. I am feeling some pain in my knees and I'm having a hard time deciding if it's the good kind of pain that means your muscles are growing or the bad kind of pain. I am thinking of going to Aqua Aerobics at the Y a couple of times to give my knees a break. Even though my knees are sore, I can tell that my heart and lungs are really improving, so that's encouraging. If my knees weren't hurting I would probably be moving on to the second week of Couch to 5K.
For those that are wondering (a lot of people have been asking), Ryan and his advisors have talked about him graduating next May. He is trying to get a couple of papers published before then and he is looking for a postdoc position at Who-Knows-Where University. He's working really hard and the kids and I are very proud of him.
I think Kevin had a good first week at Kindergarten. He was disappointed on Saturday morning that he didn't get to go to school. He also took a nap that afternoon of his own initiative, which was the first time in many months. He doesn't talk about Kindergarten much, but occasionally he mentions things. Here are a few of my favorite things he said this week:
"The cafeteria is this place at school, and it has a restaurant in it."
"My bus driver is a farmer. He was doing naughty things because he just drove past Baity Hill and didn't stop."
"At school there are rules, like no running, and respect others."
(Not school related)
Me: What are you eating? Spit that out right now!
Kevin: (spits out wrapper) I think it was some kind of wrapper at some point.
(Name that movie.)
Heidi was very upset that she didn't get to go to school with Kevin at first, but she is also enjoying that she gets to have the toys all to herself for a while every day. It's certainly quieter during the day without Kevin's noises, and the house stays cleaner too.
I am on week 3 of Couch to 5K, but I am repeating the first week for the third time. I am feeling some pain in my knees and I'm having a hard time deciding if it's the good kind of pain that means your muscles are growing or the bad kind of pain. I am thinking of going to Aqua Aerobics at the Y a couple of times to give my knees a break. Even though my knees are sore, I can tell that my heart and lungs are really improving, so that's encouraging. If my knees weren't hurting I would probably be moving on to the second week of Couch to 5K.
For those that are wondering (a lot of people have been asking), Ryan and his advisors have talked about him graduating next May. He is trying to get a couple of papers published before then and he is looking for a postdoc position at Who-Knows-Where University. He's working really hard and the kids and I are very proud of him.
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