Meow-meow aka the piece of junk

When we were looking at our van and considering buying it, Heidi found this cheap bobble-head cat/mouse thingy in the area where the side doors move back and forth, and she has been very possessive of it ever since we bought the van. She keeps it in the cup holder of her car seat (which we never used in the Honda Accord because it adds about five inches to the car seat--not that we generally allow drinks in the car anyway), and she likes to hold it whenever we drive somewhere. When she's not in the car it rattles around in the cup holder and I have to take it out so it doesn't feel like something's about to fall off the bottom of the van.

When Kevin asked what it was at the car dealership, Ryan just said, "It's a piece of junk." So occasionally on car rides we hear Kevin call out, "Can I have the piece of junk?" Heidi, on the other hand, has named it Meow-Meow.

Also notice her brown shoes. I dug them out of one of the boxes of Kevin's old clothes for her to wear because she has lots of nice shoes and no shoes that are playground-appropriate. Now they are her favorite. She gets them out of her shoe drawer and holds them out while saying, "Johnny, Johnny!" because apparently she associates them with her  boyfriend  friend from down the hall.

a peculiar people

I just returned this evening from a weekend field trip for my Sedimentology/Stratigraphy class. I will probably post details and pictures about the trip later, but I wanted to share one thing that I kept thinking about throughout the trip.

I have heard the phrase "a peculiar people" at church throughout my life. It kept echoing in my mind this weekend. I knew that I am different from most people outside of the LDS church in many ways, but until this trip I don't think I had realized to what extent I am different. Over and over again I was struck at how different I am from everybody in my class and how peculiar I must seem to them in some ways.

One of the main things was that everyone drinks alcohol. When I was in high school I generally had the impression that I should avoid becoming too close to people who drank alcohol, which was probably the right idea for teenagers since it's illegal for teenagers to drink, but then there's not usually any talk about what it's like when you're 21. The thing is that outside of the LDS church most people drink alcohol at least occasionally. If I were to never spend time with people who drink alcohol then I would be missing out on wholesome relationships and good experiences. Most people who drink are still worth knowing and befriending. Anyway, it was interesting to realize that everybody in my class who was 21 or older was getting drinks last night, and the people who weren't old enough yet were complaining that they couldn't. I got dinner with some other girls and two of them ordered a beer (the other girl wasn't 21 yet). Even though we didn't talk about it, I realized that they were probably a little confused that I wasn't doing the same. I know very little about alcohol and because of that I didn't really even know how to respond when they talked about different kinds of beer and whether they like them or not. It wasn't a temptation at all for me because I'm really not interested and I made the decision to keep the Word of Wisdom a long time ago, but it did feel sort of weird to be the different one. I'm still trying to figure out how/if to let people know that I don't drink without making them feel awkward. I mentioned it to a guy from my class the other day and I could tell I had surprised him.

It was kind of a similar case with coffee. People just make offhand comments about coffee (like how they like it or how they need it to be alert) as if I know exactly what they're talking about, and it's kind of weird because I actually don't know what they're talking about since I don't drink things with caffeine, which means I don't really know what it feels like to "need" some caffeine to get more energy or whatever. If I'm tired I just go to sleep!

I am also much more careful with my money than most people are. Before the trip I planned out my meals and made things to eat for dinner so I wouldn't have to spend a lot of money on fast food, and then once we were on the trip I realized that I was literally the only one who wasn't just planning on buying food at restaurants or gas stations. I actually did end up spending some birthday money to get Chicago Pizza when I went to dinner with those other girls, which I wasn't planning on, but I did think through how I would pay for it and how it would work in the budget, whereas others didn't really worry about it. That's not necessarily a Mormon thing, but it still throws me off when I realize how often most people go out to eat, and it felt kind of weird to be the only one pinching pennies and eating homemade food on a field trip.

Overall, it occurred to me that I am much more religious than most people. It's a very significant part of my life. Things like keeping the Sabbath day holy and reading the scriptures and words of the prophets are habits now for me and they seem normal, but if other people observed my habits a lot of them would be surprised at how much of my life I devote to my religion, even outside of church. To me it seems normal, but many people would find it peculiar.

And of course there is also my family. Apparently there are only around 30 other undergraduates at UNC who have children, so I am definitely a rarity in that respect. That alone makes me very different from the crowd. Outside of my church the average ages for marriage and children tend to be much higher.

It was just interesting to experience all this and try to analyze my feelings. It's not that I ever felt any pressure or temptation to compromise my values, but it was interesting to be around others who are good people but don't share these values and to realize how different I must seem to them. I felt a little self-conscious and uncomfortable about it. But after pondering about it I realized that is what it means to be a peculiar people. It's part of what it is like to be a follower of Christ. Many people do not follow him. Many have not found him. But I have found him, and if I am to follow him that means I am part of a peculiar people and I will always have to deal with being different from the majority. It's a little bit intimidating. I hadn't realized this concept to this extent before. It means I have to have a little bit more courage if I want to share the gospel. It also means that if I want to try to convert people to the gospel I have to realize how much of their lifestyle they are being asked to change as part of that conversion. So in that way it was an interesting trip and I came home with a lot to think about.

Next time I write about my trip I will post a lot of pictures of cool rocks.

Boyd K. Packer: The Atonement

"No matter what our transgressions have been, no matter how much our actions may have hurt others, that guilt can all be wiped out. To me, perhaps the most beautiful phrase in all scripture is when the Lord said, 'Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.'

"That is the promise of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Atonement: to take anyone who comes, anyone who will join, and put them through an experience so that at the end of their life, they can go through the veil having repented of their sins and having been washed clean through the blood of Christ."

President Boyd K. Packer, "The Atonement." October 2012 General Conference.

new van

This is a long post. Skim if you want. There are some pictures at the very end of our new van.

On Thursday, February 28th, the kids and I were in our first car crash. We had gone to Jared and Kristi's house to play with Kristi and Lily and Zach, and I was bringing the kids home for naps and so I could go to class. I was driving in the right lane on a main road when a girl didn't see us and pulled out of a Wendy's parking lot. I had a couple of seconds to react, but I knew before it happened that I wouldn't be able to slow down enough to avoid colliding. I did have a calm feeling that we would be okay. The right front corner of our car hit the left front corner of her car and our car was pushed about halfway into the left lane. Fortunately it wasn't a very violent collision and nobody was injured. None of us even had any whiplash afterwards.

The girl got out and I rolled my window down. There were a lot of cars trying to go around our car, so I didn't get out right away. She said that it looked like the body of the car was hanging down on the tire and she didn't think it would be a good idea to drive it, so I just turned on the emergency lights. When I had a  chance I got out and looked at the damage and agreed that it might not be a good idea to try to drive the car and move it out of the way. There was a stiff piece of the body that was touching the tire and I thought it would pop the tire if I drove. The other girl called the police, and an officer arrived in a few minutes. He thought it would be okay if I drove the car enough to get into a side street, so I did that and it was okay, but now the body was definitely digging into the tire and I knew we would not be driving home.

The interesting thing was that Ryan and I had received inspiration in various ways in the month before the accident that prepared me for this experience. We acted on some of it but unfortunately not on all of it. I had been feeling like I should make a list of important phone numbers so that if we got in an accident or the car broke down somewhere I would be able to call Jared and Kristi or a friend from the ward and also call roadside assistance. I had also been feeling like I should put some minutes on our cell phone and stick it in the car. (We don't carry around cell phones, but we have a very basic pay-as-you-go cell phone, and since we hardly ever use it we hadn't bothered to put more minutes on it for a while.) Unfortunately I never got around to doing either of those things. I ended up borrowing the other driver's cell phone to try to call Ryan, who wasn't home yet, and I didn't know any other phone numbers for people I could call.

A few weeks before the accident, Ryan said we should have a family home evening to talk about what to do if we had a car accident or the car broke down somewhere. He showed me what's covered on the insurance policy and told me about what the process is for filing a claim, and told me about what information to get from the other driver. So I at least knew what to do for that. Roadside assistance was one of the numbers I had been planning to put on my list for the car. While I was getting things out of the glove compartment I noticed there was a form in there with some contact information for USAA (where we get our auto insurance). I decided to call them and see if they could get me a tow truck (all of this was on the other driver's phone, and I was kicking myself for not putting our cell phone in the car). USAA was so helpful and got a tow truck for me and then the person on the phone did a conference call with Ryan (who was fortunately home at that point) so I could tell him what had happened. Ryan gave us Jared and Kristi's number and then the associate did a conference call with them so I could ask them to give us a ride home. So yay for Ryan for listening to the Holy Ghost.

The kids didn't cry after the accident, but after I had moved the car I guess for Kevin it finally sunk in that something slightly scary had happened, and he started to cry. I got him out of his seat to comfort him and it took a while for him to calm down. It was kind of cold outside, but he refused to get back in the car because he was scared. Heidi went to sleep. There was a little Asian grandma going into Wendy's who tried to convince me in broken English that I needed to put Kevin back in the car because it was cold, but since I was talking on the phone and talking to the police officer I couldn't really explain to her that he was scared to get back in the car after what had happened. She gave up on me and went inside, but I did notice she kept looking out the window at us with a very concerned look on her face.

After Kevin had calmed down he looked at the car and was so interested in the fact that it was broken. He kept going over to the other driver and telling her our car was broken. Then he saw her car and said, "Oh! Your car is broken too! Oh, dear, your car is broken." I felt sort of bad because she already felt bad about causing the accident and Kevin was rubbing it in, but oh well.

We had to take everything out of the car before the tow truck took the car away. Oh, and by the way, I had also been thinking I should probably clean out the car. There were lots of little slips of paper with addresses and directions on them, several water bottle lids, and a lot of other things. Fortunately, the last time Ryan drove the car he had taken out the garbage and recycling and had saved the garbage bags from the recycling, so I just stuffed everything haphazardly in the garbage bags. The tow truck driver helped. Then he towed our car away. It was the last time we would ever see our Honda Accord.

The insurance company said it was likely that our car would not be worth repairing because of its age, so we started looking at cars. We found out the next Tuesday that they decided the car was a total loss and they would be giving us a check towards buying a new car. We wanted to be able to get a car that was at least as good as the one we lost, but based on the value of the car on our tax return we wouldn't get enough money to do that. Used cars are more expensive right now. We found cars that were basically the same mileage and year as our car that were selling for only $200 less than what we paid for ours five years ago. Fortunately, they are giving us more money than we expected, so it worked out. I still think it's a shame that the car was totaled because it was a great car and would have lasted many more years, but maybe somebody will buy it and think it's worth fixing.

Then we had to decide whether we should get another sedan or upgrade to more space. Eventually we want to have more kids, and it's hard to fit more than two kids in full car seats in the back seat of a sedan. Before the accident we were planning to try to fit three in the car and maybe buy skinnier car seats. But since we had to buy a new car now anyway, it seemed like maybe it was time to get a minivan. After thinking about it a lot it seemed like getting a minivan was the right choice for us. We did a lot of our shopping online using Cars.com, which was really helpful for getting an idea of what prices you would get for certain mileages, models, and ages.

We found a place called Westgate Auto Imports that had a few reasonably priced vans in our price range, so we decided to check them out. It was a great experience. We showed up and they gave us a list of the cars in the lot with their information, including prices, and told us we were free to go look at the cars and the cars should all be unlocked. So we were free to go look around at all the cars and make comments without a dealer breathing down our necks. If you are an introvert and need to buy a used car, then this is the place for you. There was a black 2005 Chrysler Town and Country with only 90,500 miles on it, and we were pretty impressed with it. So we test drove it and were still impressed with it, so we decided to go home and look at reviews of that particular van. Before we went home we stopped another dealership and it was completely different. It felt like your standard oily car dealership, and we didn't like it. It took forever to even look at any cars because the worker had to take us in and look up cars on the computer, and in the end he couldn't even find the cars we were interested in out in the lot. (He was a nice guy, we just didn't like the dealership.)

On Monday we decided to go back to Westgate and test drive the Chrysler Town and Country on the freeway. It seemed to run well. When we got back we talked to the dealer and talked to each other and decided to buy the van. It seemed like a really good option for us and we were able to pay for it outright. I still didn't like spending all that money in one place, though. : )

The other insurance company paid for us to rent a car while we were searching for a new one. We got to drive a very new Toyota Corolla that ran great but reeked of cigarette smoke. It was a relief to take it back when we were done with it.

On Thursday we took the van out to the Croatan National Forest so I could get more water samples (which is a story for another day). While we were driving on the highway the tail light fell off. It was still attached by the cable but the actual light was just hanging down and banging on the car, so Ryan took it off. No auto parts stores had lights we could buy to replace it, so we had to take the light off and drive without one tail light. When we got home Ryan ordered one off of Amazon, but then when I was talking to a friend he said we should call West Gate and ask if they would take care of it. They said to bring the van because they probably had a tail light from another van lying around, so they replaced it and we cancelled our order. (Phew! Money saved!)

The other minor issue we had was that there was only one key to the van, but we figured we would just make do until we could afford to order another one since they are kind of expensive. Then Ryan was removing a satellite radio that a previous owner had attached to the radio and he discovered another key that had been stuck behind the satellite radio. So now we have two keys. Awesome!

Did I mention how many cool features this van has? It has power sliding doors (which you can open using buttons by the driver's seat, buttons by the doors, or buttons on the key), you can control the radio using buttons on the steering wheel, it can hold six CDs at a time, and both rows of seats in the back can be stowed in the floor. They're certainly not essential to my existence, but they do make driving with kids a little more convenient. It's nice to just release the kids into the car while I buckle them in instead of having Kevin run away or mess with things in the front seat while I buckle Heidi in, which is what we had to do in the old car. It also has a LATCH system for the car seats, which is pretty convenient. It's kind of like having a rocket ship. We keep discovering cool stuff the van can do. Hopefully it will be a good car for us and last a long time.

And if you made it through this post I'm impressed. I've told family and friends the basic details of the story, but this is the full version for posterity.

The kids approve of the van:

Here it is after driving on mud and dirt roads all over the Croatan National Forest:

Stow 'n' go seats in both rows in back:

And here is a link to a picture posted by the dealership: http://www.cstatic-images.com/supersized/DMI/105643/0721/04.jpg

"True principles are taught frequently and by many."

"A few question their faith when they find a statement made by a Church leader decades ago that seems incongruent with our doctrine. There is an important principle that governs the doctrine of the Church. The doctrine is taught by all 15 members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve. It is not hidden in an obscure paragraph of one talk. True principles are taught frequently and by many. Our doctrine is not difficult to find."

Elder Neil L. Andersen, "Trial of Your Faith." October 2012 General Conference.

I thought Elder Andersen made a good point here. If we want to grow in the wisdom of the gospel, we will find it in the true principles that are taught repeatedly, not in the "deep," obscure "doctrine."

thoughtful Kevin

About a week ago Kevin did something very sweet.

I had had a rough night--not sleeping well, having a hard time getting a good sleeping position, etc.--and I woke up feeling sore and exhausted. Kevin got up and came in our room and I kept moaning and not really responding when he said things to me. After a while he said in a very concerned voice, "Mom, what's wrong?" I told him that I hurt all over because I was tired and sore and maybe sick. He said, "Oh. (Pause.) So . . . you need a drink of water?" I told him that would be great. So he went in the kitchen and poured me a tall glass of cold water from the pitcher in the fridge, all by himself, and brought it in. I was so impressed because it was such a thoughtful thing for him to do and he came up with it completely unprompted.