2021 Goals

I like doing this post every year to reflect on how I did on my goals for the previous year and share what my goals are for the coming year. I feel like it gives me a little more accountability. I didn't reach every single one of my goals for last year, but I heard recently that if you're reaching all of your goals then you're not setting hard enough goals. The pandemic affected some of my goals as well.

Reflections on last year's goals:

1. Read Poetry

My goal was to read The Ode Less Travelled and A Poetry Handbook in January, then read ten poems a month (eleven poets) for the rest of the year. I did read the two books (I would recommend The Ode Less Travelled more than A Poetry Handbook). I fell short of the goal to read eleven poets, but I did read most of them. My favorites were Robert Frost, Alfred Lord Tennyson (my very favorite this year), William Butler Yeats, and Edgar Allen Poe. I'm so glad I started by reading The Ode Less Travelled because understanding poetic devices helped me to appreciate, understand, and gain insights into the poetry. This was a good goal. I'm glad I committed to working on it. I always thought of myself as not a poetry person, but I'm glad that I decided to challenge that belief and give it a try. I don't really have a set goal for reading poetry in 2021, but I feel like now I can pick up some poetry occasionally and enjoy it. The website interestingliterature.com was very helpful. For each poet I wanted to study, I would do a Google search for "best poems by _______" and then look for a post from Interesting Literature. For many poets they have a list of their popular poems and links to a summary and/or analysis of each poem.

2. Make a Command Central

This goal didn't really happen, and admittedly it's because I just didn't feel like doing it. But our desk downstairs is more organized, because Ryan dealt with all the papers. We do have a designated place for things like pencils and scissors there now, and I did finish the dresses that were on top of the pile.

3. DC Adventures

I visited the African American History Museum, the National Arboretum, the Kenilworth Gardens, and the LBJ Memorial Grove. The Smithsonian and other museums I wanted to visit have been closed most of the year, so I wasn't able to visit them. We did take several nice nature walks and hikes as a family. It was fun to explore the many trails that are in our area. I love that there's so much to do and see around here.

4. Books

I read White Trash, Ignore It!, and 1491. I wasn't able to get Oxygen: The Molecule that Made the World because I haven't had access to interlibrary loans during the pandemic, plus in the months when I was planning to read that book I was in no state to read about science because I was freaking out about the pandemic. I'm still working on 1493, which I'm planning to finish this month.

5. Exercise

I don't remember exactly what my exercise goals were at the beginning of the year. I've had to make modifications throughout the year as my schedule changed and depending on how my back was doing. Exercise to some extent has been happening throughout the year. I did a lot of walking for my own sanity after the school shut down in the Spring. Stretching, core strengthening, and weightlifting have played big parts in my exercise this year.

oooOooo

Some things I've come to believe in the last couple of months are that goals should make you grow. If you're setting hard enough goals, you won't reach them all. With that in mind, I wanted my goals this year to help me grow into a better person and change me, not just be a to-do list. But I also think it's important for goals to be measurable so that after the deadline it's pretty clear whether or not you reached your goal. It's taken some thought and journaling to figure out some goals this year that would be measurable and help me grow in the areas I want to work on. I think I've come up with some great things that will help me reach my overall goals of being a better person with measurable actions to help me get there.

1. Practice being a better friend by inviting.

The steps for this goal will partly be contingent on how things go this year with the pandemic. I'm hoping that by this summer the spread of the virus will be more under control so that having people over for dinner and playdates will be safer. This goal is pretty lofty for me!

• Read the book We Should Get Together by May 30.
• Invite/host friends in some way six times between June and November.
• Reflect about it afterwards in my journal (to reinforce that inviting someone over won't kill me!).

2. Learn about BIPOC and implicit bias.

• Read White Fragility by Feb. 28.
• Read my sister-in-law's book, Enslaved in Zion, if it's available by the end of the year.
• Buy a painting with a brown Jesus or scripture character.
• Attend and engage in meetings with my "We Can Do the Hard Things" group.

3. Physical Health: Squat 30 pounds (3 sets of 10, 8, then 6 reps); 1-minute plank; 15 minutes straight on elliptical; and touch toes with knees straight.

• Read Thinner Leaner Stronger
• Warm up on elliptical before strength training (get to 5 minutes without stopping, gradually increase to 15 minutes)
• Stretch 6/7 days/week.
• Upper body once/week, core 2x, lower body 1-2x

I will probably reevaluate before summer. If gyms are open and safe at that point, I'm thinking of getting a gym membership so I can get access to barbells and do more heavy lifting.

4. Spend quality time with my kids.

• Weekly family activities (movies, hikes, games, museums, decorate cookies, etc.).
• Help the three oldest finish their blankets by Feb. 28.
• Help them do one other sewing project (each) by Aug. 30.
• Add "Help with Dinner" to the chore chart.
• Read-alouds: Finish the Lemony Snicket Series and read all of The Dark is Rising series by the end of the year.

Books:

1. (Jan) 1493
2. (Feb) White Fragility
3. (Mar) Saints I
4. (Apr) Thinner Leaner Stronger
5. (May) We Should Get Together
6. (July) Saints II
7. (Sept). Kingdom of Nauvoo
8. (Nov) Enslaved in Zion if available (If not, Religion of a Different Color.)

Habits

I really need to get my sleep hygiene back on track. I know that staying up late is affecting everything else. I am going to work on being in bed, trying to fall asleep, at 10:30.

I'm also going to have three set times during the day when I check social media, and commit to not checking outside those three times. Also, Facebook is not allowed when I check in the evenings because doom-scrolling is not conducive to falling asleep.

2019 Goals in Review

My friend Amber (Biceps After Babies) gave a free class a year ago about making great New Year's Resolutions, and it inspired me! The important thing is to make measurable goals and reverse engineer your success by breaking the goal down into manageable steps. I thought I'd share my 2019 New Years Resolutions and how I did.

1. Paint the Master Bathroom.

Our master bathroom was painted the color of yellow highlighter. Bathrooms should not be that color of yellow. I learned a lot from this project. I painted the baseboards, trim, and doors first. I learned that doing it last works a little better. The way I planned to complete this goal was to paint a wall every week. So I would do all the taping for a wall, paint the wall, rinse all the brushes and equipment, and do a second coat a few days later. Repeat for every wall. That meant our bathroom was a construction zone for a couple of months. After that, I learned that it's much faster to do it all in one go, or tape everything one day, paint the next day, and do a second coat the day after that.

Not only did I accomplish this goal, I completed it early, and I also painted all three bedrooms, the girls' closet, the other bathroom, two living room walls, half the kitchen, the laundry room, 15 doors + doorways, and 90% of the baseboards in an effort to get our house ready to sell. Whew! That's a big accomplishment!

2. Go to the temple 9 times.

When I made this goal, I was hoping to do nine endowment sessions, but life changed my plans. Instead, I did three endowment sessions, did sealings and initiatories at the Atlanta temple, took our family to have a picnic and walk around the grounds once, went with our family to the Raleigh Temple open house, and went to the Washington DC temple visitor's center three times to perform with the choir. So it did add up to nine times, but not in the way I expected. I hear the Washington DC temple is supposed to be rededicated sometime next fall, so I'm looking forward to that because we live pretty close!

3. Do 12 home dates with Ryan.

I put reminders on my Google Calendar to do a home date every month with Ryan. The first few months went well. We sketched with the help of a YouTube video, put together a puzzle, played Wiki Wars, and watched a movie. Then we listed our house for sale, and after our move I was so worn out that on Fridays I didn't have the energy to even do home dates. Ryan did come with me to one of my choir concerts and we stopped for burgers afterwards, and that kind of felt like a date. I think what I'm going to do for a while is try having simple movie nights together.

4. Read books.

I had five nonfiction books that I made a goal to read this year. I scheduled when I would read them and put reminders on my Google Calendar to keep me on track. Here are the books I read:

• Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow
• Saints: The Story of the Church of Jesus Christ in the Latter Days, Volume 1
• Thank You For Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
• The God Who Weeps by Terryl and Fiona Givens
• The Christ Who Heals by Terryl and Fiona Givens

I'm still working on The Christ Who Heals, but I should be able to finish it by the end of the year. This worked out really well! So far I've read 58 books this year. 25 of those were audiobooks. I've gotten through a lot of books driving to choir because it's about an hour and fifteen minutes to get there and 45 minutes to an hour to drive back.

In general, I think this approach to goals worked really well for me, and I'm working on finishing up my plans for next year's goals using the same handout I used last year. Stay tuned for my new goals!

on exercise and fitness

Since Ann Marie was born I've really wanted to put some emphasis on my health. I want to be strong again and have more energy. I also want to lose a lot of body fat, but I'm trying to focus on feeling better rather than how I look. It's taken me a while to figure out what I want to do to get more fit. I've been going for walks a few times a week, but I've been wanting to do more.

I decided to start with the Couch to 5K running program. I've been interested in it for a few years, but I never got motivated enough to try it before. Last Tuesday I found Robert Ullrey's podcasts and downloaded the one for the first week. I've finished the first week now and I thought it was great! He tells you when to run and when to walk and has a very friendly and motivating voice. It was a bit of a push on the first day, but I can tell that it's getting easier for me. I think I'm going to repeat week one this week before moving on because I'm still feeling pretty tired at the end. I think this will work for me. I feel like it's okay for me to start slow if it means that I can stay motivated. I was really turned off by running when I was on the track team in middle school because the coach expected too much of me (but didn't give me much advice or support), so I appreciate that with Couch to 5K I get some guidance but don't have anyone pushing me too hard and giving me disapproving glares. Even though I'm sweaty and tired when I get back from my runs, I also have a feeling of exhilaration and pride in what I've done.

I've also been wanting to strengthen my core, and a friend suggested that I could try Pilates. I tried it once in high school and I remember liking it, so I thought I'd give it another try. I went to a class at the YMCA yesterday and enjoyed it. It was really difficult for me, but the instructor was really understanding and didn't push me too hard. There was a really friendly and supportive atmosphere, with people of all different ages. I felt like this is a place where they're just happy that I'm trying to get more fit. I don't have to be as strong as everyone else. I'm planning to start going to this class twice a week.

Both the Couch to 5K program and the Pilates classes have a scheduled element to them, which I'm hoping will help me to stay consistent so that I can make progress.



I've been thinking about Victor Frankl's lecture (embedded above) and how it applies to me and exercise. I often give myself a hard time when I get out of the habit of exercise for a while. But it occurred to me this week that it's better for me to aim for consistency and keep making fitness goals, because even though sometimes I fall short, it's better than if I didn't even aim, because if I don't bother then I won't do anything and then my heart and muscles and emotional well-being will suffer the consequences. I want to be healthy so that I can play with my kids, have the energy to fulfill all of my responsibilities, be happier, and live a fuller and longer life.

new goal: follow a menu

I'm starting to feel like it's time for a new goal. Here are the habits I've been working on so far:

1. Only eat sweets as a treat on the weekend or for special occasions.
2. Read scriptures and say prayers before the kids get up.

My new goal is to make and follow a dinner menu. I just made a menu for the entire month! What a relief to have it already planned! Here is this week's menu:

Sunday: spaghetti and meatballs, green beans, white bread

Monday: au gratin potatoes, sweet potatoes, meatloaf

Tuesday: hot dogs, homemade baked fries, cooked carrots

Wednesday: white chili, salad

Thursday: shredded beef sandwiches, cooked carrots

Friday: tacos (using the leftover beef)

Saturday: burritos, rice

My plan is to do most of the preparing while the kids are taking their afternoon naps so that when they wake up I can toss things together and heat them up and we can have dinner soon after that. Tuesdays are my designated grocery shopping days, so I planned things so that on those nights dinner is quick and easy. Before I go shopping I can look at my menu and my recipes and figure out which ingredients I need to buy for that week.

new goal

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I am taking a new approach to goals and becoming more disciplined. I've decided to make smaller commitments and work on them one at a time, about a month at a time, instead of feeling bad about my lack of discipline all the time.

My old goal was to only eat sweets for a treat on the weekend and on special occasions. I've slacked off a little bit over the holidays, but not too much, and now I'm back on track. I think this really has made a difference in how I feel. In particular, I feel better when I wake up in the morning. I used to frequently wake up with a slight headache and didn't feel very rested. That's not usually a problem anymore, and it stopped about the time I started working on my goal.

My new goal is to start getting up before the kids are awake to read my scriptures and say my prayers. That means I need to get up by 7:30, and therefore I also really need to be in bed at around 10:00. I realized a week or so ago that if I have some quiet time to collect myself and invite the Spirit to help me before I have to deal with breakfast and diaper changes and all the other early morning craziness, then I can handle it all more patiently and calmly than if I try to also take care of my prayers and scripture study after the kids are up. It's hard to get to bed early for me because after the kids are in bed it's a good time to get things done, but it's worth it to have the patience during the day.

What goals are you working on?