to yell or not

I blogged previously about a parenting class we had for a Relief Society activity. Recently I've been thinking about what the teacher said about the ratio of positive to negative things said, and I've been wondering whether it's better to be neutral when I'm scolding Kevin or if I should say it firmly or yell. I have a good friend who I have always admired as a mother because of the way she handles disciplining her children. If they are doing something wrong she gets their attention, makes sure they are making eye contact with her, and takes time to talk with them about it--what they did wrong, why it is naughty or hurtful, what they should have done, if they should apologize, etc. Before Kevin was born I remember watching her and thinking how much I would like to be like that and not yell at my kids very much. As Kevin got older and was walking and started getting into all sorts of mischief, I started scolding very firmly and also yelling. I think it was because he did the same things over and over again and I felt like if I didn't yell or make something about my voice different then he wouldn't realize that he had done something wrong.

But recently I've been thinking about the importance of being positive, and also I've been remembering what the teacher said about how kids would rather get negative attention than no attention. So the last couple of days I've been experimenting with modifying my reactions to Kevin's misbehaviors. Rather than yelling or saying "No!" or "Stop it!" I've been trying to keep my voice more neutral and just steer him away from the bad behavior. I think my main observation so far is that it has more of an effect on my attitude than on Kevin's behavior. What I'm starting to realize is that Kevin will probably turn off the computer and throw food and try to color on walls whether I yell or ignore or tell him in a neutral voice to stop. I'm not sure why he does those things, because even at this age he shows some evidence of knowing he shouldn't do those things. The main difference I'm seeing is that I have a different attitude when I am purposefully not yelling. I am able to be more patient with him, and I can deal with it all a little better. And I am happier. Something that seems to naturally come from not yelling is that I give him more positive attention. For example, if he's gotten a hold of a permanent marker and is trying to color on the desk, I will take away the marker and show him how he can color on some paper with crayons or a pencil, and stay and help him color (so the crayon only goes on the paper and so he doesn't eat them). I think this is different from rewarding him for bad behavior. I'm finding that it takes more work to correct him in a neutral voice rather than in louder tones. I have to keep a close eye on him when he eats so that I can intercept flying cups or food and move them out of reach, for example, and I have to make a conscious effort to tell him calmly, for the zillionth time, that it's not okay to throw food when he's frustrated or done or bored. A lot of it involves taking more preventive measures, like putting things out of reach or locking doors or being fast enough to stop him from grabbing or throwing or breaking something. But something I've noticed is that often the right parenting technique is the one that takes more work and more consistency--and the reward is that you will get better outcomes and both you and your kids will be better people.

Have you thought about this problem? What were your conclusions? What worked and what didn't?

sprouted lentils

A few months ago, I did a Relief Society class about beans. I've been working on perfecting my notes from the class so that I can share them with the sisters in my ward--it's been a slow process because Calculus kept me so busy, but I'm almost done. Well, one person asked about sprouting beans, so I read a little bit about it and figured maybe I should try it out. So, I went through the process of sprouting them, and here's what I ended up with:

Lo and behold, it worked. This was originally a half cup of lentils, and I had to pry them out of the jar with a spoon to get them out today. I let the sprouts grow a little longer than I was supposed to (you're supposed to wait until the sprout is as long as the bean), but I didn't know what to do with them, so I kept rinsing them and letting them sprout for another day or so.

So now the question is, what do I do with my sprouts?

What should I write about that somebody would care to read? . . .

Here are some random things and excerpts from posts that I probably will delete before publishing:

I made pie by myself for the first time. I'm a little embarrassed about the result, but I think it will be better next time. I was starting a new container of salt, and I forgot to add the salt because I kept thinking about opening it and never got around to it. So the crust was a little bland, although not too bad with the filling (minty chocolate pudding--pretty good!). The crust was also just slightly too small to fit over the sides of the pan, so I couldn't do fluted edges. I did my best to break the edges off straight along the inside of the pan. I should have figured it would shrink a little bit while it baked. It had a nice flaky texture, though. The pie looked okay once I filled it up with pudding, and it did taste good. I'm not going to quit making pie just because this one wasn't great, especially since the main problems were very fixable. It really wasn't that hard to make it, either--I'm not sure why people are so scared of making pie.


This is my food storage wish list:

1. lots of wheat
   
2. electric wheat grinder
3. lots of mason jars and lids
   
4. pressure cooker, or at least some huge pots
   
5. thingy to squish up tomatoes for soup and apples for applesauce
   
6. big garden
7. lots of fruit trees
   
8. big storage room
9. extra freezer
10. Lots of big storage buckets (for all my wheat and flour and beans and rice and sugar and . . .)

I guess most of these are goals for the very distant future. I'm looking forward to it, though. My mom's wonderful canned food spoiled me a little bit, so the store-bought canned food just isn't as nice to me. For the time being, I really like to look at all of the food in our pantry.

Questions that I occasionally wonder about:

1. If I forgot to put salt in my pie crust, will it taste bad? (Answer: No, but never forget again because it will taste better with salt.)
2. Why do they sell canned fruit that includes peeled grapes? It seems like it would be too hard to peel them to be worth the effort, especially since grapes are so much nicer with a nice firm peel left on them.
3. Why do they make piano keyboards with keys that light up when you press them? I know I pressed the key--I did it on purpose, and I could tell because I heard a note.
4. How can there be an 11-inch baby inside of me when I haven't grown very much? Where did all the other stuff go to make room? And what is it like to be alive but not getting your oxygen by breathing air? And am I going to have a cub scout or someone to put in pretty dresses and cute hair clips?
5. What would happen if I didn't soak the beans before I cook them?