Halloween 2011

Friday was our ward Trunk or Treat party. I had planned to make a jungle safari costume for Kevin by making a vest out of a brown paper bag, but it ended up looking really tacky and not working, so we went to Plan B. (Interestingly, this year's Plan B was last year's Plan A that didn't work out.) Ryan spiked Kevin's hair, put him in a white shirt, and stuffed some rubber gloves and pens into the pocket--voila! Mad scientist. A very cute mad scientist who likes to suck his thumb.

Heidi has a pair of footed sleepers that look like a present, so I was going to put a bow on her head and say that was her costume, but I never ended up changing her into the sleepers. Oh well.

Kevin had a good time at the ward party, but he didn't care much about his costume or going Trunk-or-treating. So I doubt we'll bother with trick-or-treating tomorrow.

For some reason we were going under the delusion that we would be eating at the ward party--after all, there were supposed to be several pots of chili and lots of cornbread and cookies. I'm not sure what we were thinking, because we should have realized Kevin would be way too excited to eat dinner and would be running all over the gym with us chasing him. But we had a nice time and we did get to talk to some friends.

Kevin and Joseph are best friends. They always give each other a big hug when they see each other.

Here's what Kevin looked like the next morning.

This time of year I always remember how when I was growing up we would visit several of the people in my Grammy's apartment complex and then go see the Rosenbaums (my grandparents' neighbors). Sarah Rosenbaum always made delicious popcorn balls and we would chat with them for quite a while and enjoy the popcorn balls. I can still smell them.

Heidi has such cute facial expressions lately. Here are some pictures from this week.

first camping trip as a family

About a week ago we took Kevin and Heidi camping for the first time. Our friends the Hales were going and invited anyone else who wanted to go to join them, so we decided to go too.

Initially my main concern was that we would never get Kevin to go to sleep, but then a cold front came in and I was afraid the children would be very cold at night. It was a little cold, but it wasn't frigid. I put Heidi in an undershirt, plus the outfit she had been wearing all day, footed sleepers, and a sleeping sack, and then we wrapped her in a couple of blankets. Kevin wore two layers of pajamas and a sweater.

Kevin was very excited about all of the new things that were happening. He liked hearing all the dogs barking in other people's campsites. He was sort of confused when we put his sweater back on over his pajamas, and he started asking for his shoes because usually wearing sweaters means going outside. Then when we read him scriptures and sang a primary song and said a prayer with him he started asking for his bed, but he settled down okay in his sleeping bag after a while. He ended up crawling back out of the sleeping bag and falling asleep on top of it, so I covered him up with his two blankets and another blanket and hoped he wouldn't get too cold. He slept pretty well until about 3:30 at night. Then he woke up very disoriented and started crawling around and saying, "Bed? Bed?" He finally crawled into Ryan's sleeping bag and slept until about 7:00 there. I don't think Ryan slept very well after that.

Once Kevin was up for the day he spent the next fifteen minutes squealing and barking and shouting, "I see a rock! I see a rock!" I was slightly embarrassed that we were the obnoxious family with the two-year-old who was waking everyone else up, but I guess that's camping for you. It was very cute. Kevin had a fun time the entire morning. We found our friends, the Hales and the Hanifords, and spent some time chatting with them in between chasing Kevin.

By the time we got things packed back into the car it was past noon, and Kevin and Heidi fell fast asleep in their car seats by the time we started driving, so we didn't do any hiking like we planned. Ryan and I did each take a turn to walk to a lookout so we could get a good view of Pilot Mountain. It was a really nice view. The leaves were changing, so the colors were very vibrant and beautiful. We really enjoyed getting to see all the fall colors.

Kevin got chocolate all over his hands and decided to use his face and blanket to clean up.

Here is our campsite.

Ryan got a little fire going--it didn't last too long, though, because the wood was damp (and he was busy chasing Kevin).

There were tons of these daddy-really-long-legs hanging out by the restrooms.

Today I think I'm suffering from the "not good enough" syndrome. I know it's not true, but subconsciously I sometimes feel like if I were a good mom, we would have checked out a dozen Halloween books from the library, made about six different Halloween crafts, frosted jack-o-lantern shaped cookies (with cutesy sprinkles, of course), and decked the apartment with decorations and pumpkin-scented stuff. I would have already finished some amazing costumes (handmade) for our entire family, all based on a clever theme, and our trunk would also be decorated to go along with our theme. Have any of those things happened? Nope. Even the corn muffins for the ward Halloween party tonight burned black because I got busy washing the dishes and forgot about them. Sometimes I see fun crafty ideas online and I want to try them, but my version tends to look tacky or not even work (like Kevin's costume). The fact of the matter is, I don't really enjoy trying to be crafty, but I feel like I'm supposed to, and whenever I try it I feel so fake.

But I do love my children, and we have some fun times playing and reading together, even if I don't take gorgeous photos of it all. I know that in reality my success as a mother doesn't depend on the crafts and the cute ideas and the sugar cookies. There are other equally good ways to spend time with my kids and nurture them, using my talents instead of the ones I feel like I'm supposed to have..

On Saturday we babysat three boys so their mom and dad could go have lunch together. Kevin was excited to have some friends over. We were amazed to see children who will actually play with toys for a long period of time. (Kevin won't.) We played with the toy dinosaurs (Kevin's favorite game is to make them eat each other), enjoyed plenty of couch gymnastics (with chants of "Grapes . . . is . . . a . . . mazing!"), and had a couple of rounds of hide-and-seek. Kevin still keeps going into his closet and saying, "See you? See you?" It was very cute when it was my turn to count and Kevin copied the way I covered my eyes and put my head against the wall. In the evening the three boys' parents returned the favor by watching Kevin so we could go to the adult session of stake conference together.

Kevin has entered the change-your-mind-a-lot stage in full. He will ask for a drink, and by the time you get the milk poured, he's decided he wants juice, but by the time you hand him some juice he wants milk again, but then by the time he has the milk in hand he's decided he actually wanted ice water. So in the end he ends up throwing a tantrum, we ignore him for a while, and eventually he chooses one of the cups. The same thing happens with cereal in the morning, and lots of other things.

Kevin has become pretty interested in stickers now. He also likes buttons and bandaids. This week he cut his knees and wanted some bandaids, but then he got upset with me because I put them on the cuts--after all, stickers go on shirts.

He keeps learning more letters. I think my favorite this week was when he pointed at a letter H and said, "Ooch. Huh-huh-huh." The H sound happens to be his favorite at the moment, with the K sound coming in close second. Thus, "Help" is the perfect word if you modify it slightly to "Hoke." He will modify words so that they begin with H just so he can make the sound.

He's tall enough now that he can see more things through the car window, so now he enjoys pointing out buses, trucks, and diggers.

Lately when Kevin eats something he really likes he will say, "A-Nice." Usually the things he describes as "A-Nice" are foods like brown sugar and chocolate chips. I must agree that brown sugar is nice. The best desserts are the ones with lots of brown sugar and butter. (And speaking off butter, Kevin also keeps managing to get bites of the sticks of margarine, which he also describes as "A-Nice." Yuck.)

Another one of Kevin's latest things is to ask, "Did you hear a knock?" and then run to check the door.

And after all of those things that Kevin is learning to do, I feel bad that I don't have much to say about Heidi. Two-year-olds are learning and growing in so many ways that there is a lot to say about Kevin, I guess. Heidi is rolling around a lot and gives sweet smiles. She likes to touch people's faces (unfortunately her little fingernails are sharp!) and also gives sweet and slobbery kisses.

Here is a video of Heidi laughing at Kevin throwing a ball at the blinds.

Chopped my hair!

I've been thinking of cutting my hair short again for a long time, but I was a little nervous because I didn't want to get a bad haircut. With long hair, at least you can cut a little more off if it turns out badly, but if you cut it short there's not a lot more to cut off. Finally I was getting so tired of my long hair because it was always in my way and it took forever to wash it, so I decided it was definitely time. I've had some bad short haircuts in the past, so I wanted to find someone who knew what they were doing. I had heard of a salon here called Moshi Moshi and I knew that some of my friends had liked it, so I decided to go try it out.

Ryan took a picture of my long braid as I walked out the door:

And here's the final result:

This is how the stylist fixed it. I have wavy hair, and I've never been able to figure out how to use that to my advantage. She did some scrunching and used some kind of cream/gel stuff and made it look cute. I tried to do what she did after I took a shower and it didn't work so well, but that's what always happens. I've straightened it a few times, and I like how that looks. It will take me a while to figure out how to style it, I guess, but so far it seems like it's pretty easy and fast to fix my hair. It was so great to wash my hair without it taking 45 minutes!

When I got home from Moshi Moshi, Kevin laughed at me and said, "Hair." Then later he wanted me to put my hair back on. I had saved it so that I could donate it, and he was pointing at the bag. We used to play this game where I would put flip all my hair over my head so it brushed his face, and then I would cover my face with it so he had to look for me.

Things as They Really Are by Elder Bednar

The full text of this CES fireside talk is here.

I love this talk. I've read it a couple of times before, and I stumbled upon it again today. Here are a couple of parts that stuck out to me:

"If the adversary cannot entice us to misuse our physical bodies, then one of his most potent tactics is to beguile you and me as embodied spirits to disconnect gradually and physically from things as they really are. In essence, he encourages us to think and act as if we were in our premortal, unembodied state. And, if we let him, he can cunningly employ some aspects of modern technology to accomplish his purposes. Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, ear buds, twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the Internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body and miss the richness of person-to-person communication. Beware of digital displays and data in many forms of computer-mediated interaction that can displace the full range of physical capacity and experience."


"For your happiness and protection, I invite you to study more diligently the doctrine of the plan of salvation—and to prayerfully ponder the truths we have reviewed. I offer two questions for consideration in your personal pondering and prayerful studying:

1. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?
2. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?

"You will receive answers, inspiration, and instruction from the Holy Ghost suited to your individual circumstances and needs. I repeat and affirm the teaching of the Prophet Joseph: 'All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him.'"

I find it frightening that if we use technology improperly Satan can use it to disconnect us from our bodies. It doesn't take much physical activity to click and scroll, and it's easy to get caught up in things and end up browsing mindlessly for long periods of time. That's a method of minimizing the use of our bodies. Since our bodies help us to grow and progress in ways that we could not as spirits without bodies, if Satan can get us to spend hours and hours texting or Facebooking or reading useless things on the Internet, he is using those things to stop us from using our bodies to their full potential, and he is succeeding at keeping us from being anxiously engaged in God's work. I find comfort, however, in the knowledge that because I have a body, Satan has no power over me unless I give it to him.

Following the crowd leads to mediocrity.

I just read this quote in the September Ensign article, Valiant in the Testimony of Jesus Christ, by Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge:

"Human tendency is to blend in with the crowd. “Broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat”. But we must be willing to speak up, stand up, and stand out for the truth.

"Many of us are not comfortable with attention, much less criticism. Many of us would rather go unnoticed because if we can blend in, less will be expected of us. Safety is sought in the crowd rather than in the Lord, and the crowd almost always seeks a silent consensus of mediocrity. However good the crowd, it expects less of us than what we are truly capable of giving. There is only one Light, one standard that reveals and requires the full measure of our potential and offers the power by which it can be realized. Jesus Christ is the Light and Life of the world. He alone both reveals our weaknesses and provides us with the power to change and become strong where we are weak.

"If you follow the Savior, like Paul you will stand out as a light shining in the darkness. Your light, which is His light, will shine, and whether or not you choose it or want it, you will be a city set on a hill. Your light will shine as an inevitable consequence of faithfully choosing to follow the Lord whatever the cost. You will not be able to hide, even though you may want to hide. Often you will stand alone, but you won’t really be alone. He will stand by you. He will be with you."

This really got me thinking. I think sometimes I struggle with what he describes here. It's not that I want to be like the crowd, but it seems easier to blend in rather than sticking out by "letting my light so shine." Even though I live a righteous life, sometimes it's uncomfortable to tell people about it. In those opportunities where I can share my thoughts about gospel topics, sometimes I hesitate because I know that many aspects of my testimony are different from what most people believe and I'm afraid to offend someone or to have to defend my beliefs if another person disagrees. I forget that my testimony can stand on its own and I don't need a good philosophical argument to back it up to people that don't believe me. This quote made me realize that if I hesitate, if I choose to hide in the crowd, I am not living up to my potential, and I'm settling for something less than what I should be. If I want to have the stature of character that the Lord wants of me, then I will have to stick out, and I will have to look different. Besides, if someone is looking for that light, how are they supposed to find me and then be led to Christ if they can't see that there's something different about me?

rolling over, growling, singing

(There are a lot of videos on this post. Skip through, or skip altogether, or watch them in their entirety. I'll never know so I won't be offended. : ))

Kevin is a fun kid. Ryan and I have decided he's a high energy particle with a charge. If you put him in a small space his energy dramatically increases, but if you take him outside he will sit on a bench and suck his thumb. No matter where I sit he seems to gravitate towards me so that he's playing very close by. Holding him on my lap is an interesting experience because even though he wants to cuddle he Can't. Hold. Still. He's learning how to hold Heidi nicely and is usually pretty gentle with her now (of course we're speaking relatively here). And her name is now pronounced "Heiti" instead of "Ah-yee." Kevin is learning to say lots of things. A couple of days ago he was at the table waiting for some food when out of the blue he stood up and waved his arms and said, "Wait. Wait. Wait," which is something we often say to him if he's getting impatient about food, or anything else, for that matter. He says, "My turn" a lot lately. Recently his favorite book has been Green Eggs and Ham.

This video might give you an idea of what we mean by high energy particle:



I had a kind of scary experience the other day with him at the playground. I was keeping an eye on him while chatting with some friends. He went behind a bush, and then his friend Joseph was saying, "Where's Kevin? Where's Kevin?" And I went to where he had been just two seconds before, and he was nowhere to be found! I was feeling pretty frantic, and then suddenly I heard him giggling and I saw him racing along the sidewalk. I think he went a ways alongside an apartment building that has bushes growing beside it and then he slipped out and started running. I didn't know I could run as fast as I did to catch him! We're dealing with running-into-the-road/parking lot issues right now, which is really frustrating, because I tell him over and over again not to and he doesn't internalize the message at all. I think we're just going to have to go straight inside every time he does it so that he'll get the message that we can't go out to play if he runs in the road.

Heidi can roll from back to front now. She is becoming really attached to sucking her thumb, and sometimes she will be lying down and following her thumb so that she ends up going from her back to her tummy. Then she forgets that she knows how to roll back and she gets mad. Kevin is of the left thumb persuasion, but Heidi is quite partial to her right thumb. Now that she can roll both ways she rolls all over the place, and she's become quite an active sleeper! She sleeps all night all the time now. She also prefers to just be left alone in her bed to go to sleep rather than being rocked to sleep, which is convenient but also a little sad. We're encountering a little bit of difficulty with her sleeping situation. I was planning to put her in the other crib in Kevin's room, but now I don't really want them sleeping in the same room because I'm afraid Kevin will harass her (all with good intentions, of course). But she doesn't sleep very well in our room at night. So lately we've been putting her to sleep in our room until Kevin goes to bed and the dishes are done, and then we move her to her bed in the living room to sleep there the rest of the night. We set up the other crib in the living room and keep a pack 'n' play in our bedroom. We'll see how that works out. It's interesting to remember how spacious this apartment seemed when we moved in, and now it's hard to find space for everything and everyone.

Ryan also figured out how to get her to take a bottle! It turns out she likes her milk hotter than we realized, so we heat it up in a bowl of hot water until it feels hot (not burning, but hot) to the touch, and she drinks it right up without complaint. So if this keeps working, it looks like I can go to the temple again.



Heidi is learning to make new sounds. The vocalization of the week has some growls mixed in. You might need to turn up the volume to hear her.



School is going a lot better now. I'm thinking more clearly and understanding the material better now that I have a manageable load. After that Physics class (the one I dropped), I'm finding that Chemistry seems pretty easy.