What's Actually Taught in Sex Ed Class

I usually hate NPR. I think about 85% of what they say on that radio station is the same old stuff they've been talking about for the past three years. Global warming, Obamacare, the recession, Greece, alternative energy sources, gay rights and gay marriage, and a few more topics--over and over again. And there's something in the tone of all of it that really rubs me wrong. If you don't believe that our ancestors were monkeys and that humans are single-handedly raising global temperatures, then you are anti-science, and if you were just educated some more then you would of course believe both.

I could go on about that, but I wanted to mention a specific show that I listened to today called What's Actually Taught in Sex Ed Class. Here's the link to the transcript if you want to read it:

http://www.npr.org/2011/11/01/141908773/whats-actually-taught-in-sex-ed-class

One of the main themes that kept coming up in this show was that teens need a resource where they can learn about sex. I kept thinking, How about the parents?!! How about church leaders? How about other role models? Why does it have to be the school's responsibility to teach this? And I guess what it comes down to is that a lot of parents aren't teaching their kids to be responsible and to recognize that sex doesn't just happen--it's a choice and you don't have to give in to your powerful urges. So schools feel like they have to pick up the slack and become the child-rearers. I do think that it is helpful if the schools are available as a resource for parents who want some support and help teaching their children about it, but the responsibility needs to fall on the parents, not the school. People on this show were calling in talking about all the things they thought the schools should teach--from the anatomy to birth control to abortion to childbirth education. There's a lot of talk about how abstinence-only education doesn't work, and I can say that I understand why--the twenty minutes my health teacher spent talking about abstinence wouldn't have been very convincing for me either if I hadn't had excellent parents and church leaders--people who I had a good relationship with--who talked about it with me. If we leave it up to the schools to raise kids, our society is going to be in a really sad state of affairs. They keep coming up with all these fancy programs for schools to follow to teach kids--why are they trying to reinvent the wheel? That's what the family is for! It doesn't seem very efficient to me to allocate funds for teachers to teach these things when good parents could keep their money and do a better job of it.

(And now that I've said all that, I will say that I realize that there are kids who don't have any good role models and would never learn those things if it wasn't taught at school, and I don't really know what to do about that problem other than missionary work.)

Another related thing that I have been thinking about a lot lately is that sexuality is all over now, which means that kids are exposed to it at a much younger age. What that means is that parents now have to discuss this topic with their children at a younger age than they used to. I'm not saying that five-year-olds need the sex talk, but we need to explain things as they can understand them, and bear our testimonies to them about chastity and the powers of procreation. It's a scary thought for me because I know that this will likely be much more challenging for my children when they are teenagers than it was for me (and I wasn't a teenager very long ago, you know). It is really important to talk to our children frankly about it.

The Gospel Principles manual discusses this in the chapter about chastity:

"By the time children reach maturity, parents should have frankly discussed procreation with them. Children should understand that these powers are good and were given to us by the Lord. He expects us to use them within the bounds He has given us. (Chapter 39: The Law of Chastity, Gospel Principles, (2009))

Here is what M. Russell Ballard said about this subject:

"Third, dare to have the “big talks” with your sons. You know what I mean: talks about drugs and drinking, about the dangers of today’s media—the Internet, cyber technologies, and pornography—and about priesthood worthiness, respect for girls, and moral cleanliness. While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please don’t shy away from them. Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects. As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish.

"I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons are growing up in a world that openly embraces and flaunts early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them. Fathers and Church leaders need to have open and frequent discussions that teach and clarify how young men of the priesthood handle this issue. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage. Studies show that the biggest deterrent to casual sexual activity is a wholesome attitude that connects such personal relationships with genuine commitment and mature love. Fathers, if you have not had this “big talk” with your sons, please do so, and do it soon." (from Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship)