100 things to do

In honor of this being my 100th post, I thought I'd write down all 100 things that I wanted to do this week and didn't, or wished I could do but couldn't.

But then I realized that this is actually only my 97th post (I have a few forgotten drafts from a long time ago that I never got around to publishing). Plus, it's not healthy or productive to put that much energy into thinking about what you haven't accomplished. So I decided not to do it.

I've realized in the last week or so that I've developed an interesting bad habit. I think I've been doing it for a couple of months. Here's the bad habit: At the end of the day--every day--I start thinking about all the things I wanted to accomplish that day and didn't accomplish, and I start feeling really depressed because I didn't get anything done. But one day this week I started doing that, and then I stopped and realized that I actually had done quite a bit, which led me to realize that I do the same thing every day even though most days I do get quite a few things done. The whole time I was thinking it was just that I felt guilty because I'm so lazy, and that wasn't true. I guess Satan's getting smarter, because it didn't occur to me that he'd get me down with a trick like that. So now I'm working on breaking the habit. It's kind of hard. I know there are a few things I could change to manage my time better, but I still need to give myself credit for doing a pretty good job of fulfilling all my responsibilities.

When I explained this to Ryan, he said, "Mm-hmm!" Meaning, "That's what I've been trying to tell you all along."