on chivalry

So, I had an interesting experience today that made me stop and think.

This morning after my class, I went down to the study lounge for an hour to work on a lab that is due tomorrow. I sat down at a table with a couple of other people who are in my class since it was apparent that we were all working on the same problem. In a couple of minutes two other guys in the class had also sat down at the table. They're friendly guys and they know their geology, but there was also swearing and one guy even belched. No, I didn't say anything, because I hate asking people I don't know very well not to swear.

Then I had to meet with a guy who was helping me to filter my water samples. I had never met him before, and I was surprised to find that he's the sort of guy who casually swears a couple of times per sentence. Anything possible was described using a swear word. This might be surprising, but he probably swears more than anyone I've ever met (although some people I knew in high school probably swear a lot more now than they used to).

Well, at one point I went upstairs alone to the Geochemistry lab to get something, and the postdoc who is, I guess, my advisor was in there and asked how things were going with the filtering. We chatted for a second and then he followed me out. As we got to the door he stopped, and then said, "Oh," as if he'd forgotten something, and then opened the door for me. The interesting thing was that for two hours I had been around loud swearing boys who weren't at all sensitive to the fact that I was a girl, so when he did that simple gesture it was kind of a shock. And then I realized how much of a difference it makes when men try to be sensitive to women.

I'm not really one to care if men hold the door open for me. I hear the stories of women who sit haughtily in the car until their date/son/husband realizes their mistake and opens the door for her, and I don't admire those women. I think it's very unkind to make men feel awkward like that. I know that Ryan has a lot on his mind, and I don't want to hurt his feelings by making a fuss if he forgets to open the door for me. I'm a big girl--I can open a door for myself. (By the way, my dad always opens the car door for my mom. Even when we were little and they had to get us out of car seats, he would walk all the way around and let her out before getting anyone else out of the car. That is also great. It's just different.)

But this was a reminder to me that it is still important to teach our sons to be sensitive to women. I think in our culture lately there has been this feeling that women need to be independent and that they want to be the same as men, but we need to realize that it does make a difference when men make an effort to be sensitive and thoughtful to women. (It's also true that women need to be sensitive and thoughtful towards men, but that is perhaps a different post.)

Something to keep in mind.

vultures on the lightning tree

A local law firm had their firm meeting outside of our apartment. We took pictures. This was after three of them had left.

Every time I look out our window and see this tree, I think of Catching Fire and the lightning tree in the arena.

Trunk or Treat party

So, we had a good time at the ward party. The kids napped late and it took a while to get them in their costumes, and then there was traffic because last night was the UNC vs. NCSU game, so we ended up getting to the ward party an hour late. We had just about enough time to eat a little bit and then go trunk or treating.

I decided to rebel and bring bean dip and tortilla chips. Since we were late, most people probably didn't even know it was there, but I got a few compliments, and one guy said, "You brought this? Oh, bless you." Check out the awesome spiders made of olives that I put on top:

Ryan took Kevin trunk or treating and Heidi and I passed out candy. Kevin didn't really get the concept until the very end. At one of the last cars he saw one of his friends and he walked right up and said, "Trick or treat, Edward!" He's so smart, but sometimes he can be so oblivious.

Here are the kids in their costumes: Kevin the mad scientist (accessories: old computer hard drive and an electrical cord) with Heidi the pink lab mouse

Ryan said that even though parents and dentists and doctors freak out about kids having all that Halloween candy, there's something magical for kids about eating their Halloween candy. He's right. So I'm trying to let Kevin enjoy the magic. Heidi got to eat some Starbursts and thought they were great.

Our ward party is tomorrow evening. So far the kids don't have any costumes, although the plan is theoretically simple to execute. I figured Kevin could be a mad scientist again, and Heidi will be the lab mouse. The mad scientist costume is spiked hair and a white Sunday shirt that doesn't fit Ryan, and the mouse costume is pink footed sleepers and mouse ears (that I somehow need to figure out how to make).

It looks like it's going to rain tomorrow night, which is good, because it means I don't have to feel bad that I'm not going to decorate the trunk. The closest I've ever come to decorating the trunk is draping a sheet across the floor of the trunk and dumping fake leaves (scavenged from a recent Relief Society activity) all over. Antifreeze got all over the sheet.

And if I'm ever in charge of organizing a ward Halloween Party, we're going to eat something besides chili and cornbread. There are all sorts of fun things you can make with a Halloween theme that taste better than chili, and I would love to have a chance to make them.

I guess I'm a party pooper.

Never get too attached to anything when you have kids, because they will probably break it.

Today Kevin ripped the door off of the cabinet attached to his chest of drawers. He showed me triumphantly when I walked into his room.

Lovely.

Did I mention that at the pediatrician's office the other day all the doctors and nurses were commenting about how sweet-natured he is?

Anyway, I forgot to mention it to RT before I left for my evening class. So when I got home I remembered and told him.

His response: "Really? Because Kevin told me that you did it. Now who do you think I'm going to believe--the mother, or the three-year-old?"

transit of Venus

Last June Venus passed between us and the Sun.You obviously don't want to look at the Sun to see a planet crossing it, but Ryan got out his binoculars and projected the image onto a brick wall so we could see it.

getting water samples

I am doing a project this semester with one of my former teachers. I am collecting water samples from a bog near the coast, and then I will be separating the Strontium out of the water. Then I will get to use a mass spectrometer to separate the different isotopes of Strontium from each other so I can figure out how much of each isotope there is. The Strontium signature in the water will give us an idea of what rocks the water has been interacting with, because the ratio of the isotopes tells the age of those rocks. Young rocks would mean it's just been interacting with seawater, which is what we would expect, but old rocks would mean that somehow the water in this area has been mixing with water coming from older rocks (like the ones farther west, where I live).

So we made a couple of trips out to the area to get my water samples. I was hoping to get two more from some lakes, but it got dark. I'm not sure if we'll bother to drive out again.

It was an interesting adventure and we had a good time. Beforehand I had to plan out where we would stop. I had to use Google Maps to find places where rivers, lakes, and creeks would be accessible. Ryan and the kids came along, which was fun. Ryan was a big help with finding all the places. It involved a lot of gravel/sand forest roads because most of the area is part of the Croatan National Forest. I'm guessing almost all of the people who use the roads are there to go hunting or fishing.

Here are a bunch of pictures:

Some interesting conglomerate rocks by the lakes near the White Oak River:



White Oak River at Haywood Landing:

There were some forest fires in this area a little over a year ago, and we could see the damage in several places. Here is a video of a burned area on the way to Great Lake:
http://youtu.be/HpWAwP1eki8





These are from our second trip:

Brice Creek:

Some of the places we stopped at were kind of gross (littered with trash and beer cans), and some had beautiful views. Brice Creek was one of the beautiful ones. It was part of a big and well-maintained city park (think big soccer field, three playgrounds, picnic areas, and lovely creek at the very end). The White Oak River at Haywood Landing was a nice one too.

 Neuse River at Flanner's Beach:

There were thousands of dead fish washed up on the beach here. I'm sure you can imagine the awful smell.

That strip of stuff parallel to the water in the picture below is all dead fish.

After the Neuse River we were going to find Catfish Lake. There was a sign that showed the road we were supposed to take and said we would reach the lake in 6 miles. But the map was not that great, and there was no sign to indicate that we were supposed to turn right onto this little road, so we drove right past our turn and ended up driving so far that we reached a paved road again, so we went back. I did get a sample from a creek along the way, though (it's my filthiest sample, even filthier than my Neuse River sample that has fish skin and bones in it). Then Ryan figured out where we were and we decided to try the unlabeled road, and that went along Catfish Lake, so I was able to get Catfish Lake too. There was a lovely sunset where we stopped:

Both times we stopped at Chick Fil A for dinner. Kevin wasn't especially interested in it the first time (until we traded his CD in for an ice cream cone--he did enjoy that), so I was a little surprised that on the way home he was asking to go there again. The second time he actually ate his entire dinner. Apparently he really enjoyed himself, because when we told him we were going to go look for more rivers he was pretty excited and kept talking about it.

I drove the whole time for our second trip. I didn't know I was capable of driving all day. That meant that Ryan got to be in charge of passing snacks to the kids.

It was a fun trip. Ryan and I got to talk a lot and it was fun to see other places in NC. The contrast in buildings was quite interesting. You could see rusty shacks, mansions by private lakes, well-maintained businesses, and not-so-well-maintained businesses all within close proximity to each other.