2.5 weeks left

This is all about pregnancy stuff. I promise I really am occupied with many other things besides having a baby.

We are down to about two and a half weeks until the due date--although of course it could be less or more. I've kept thinking the due date would seem soon once I reached three weeks, but it still doesn't seem soon. I guess the baby could come any day now, but it still seems like that day is so far away. I am feeling a little impatient, and this is why: It's boring to wait. I'm not in pain, I'm not sick, I don't have heartburn. Compared to the food aversions I had to deal with for the first four months, this is great. It's just boring to wait when I know that soon my very own baby will be placed in my arms. (Don't worry--it may be boring to wait, but I'm still finding all sorts of things to fill up the time. Laying around complaining about how bored I am would be boring.)

Fortunately for me, I'm not feeling especially miserable. My only complaint is that I feel heavy. I don't roll over at night anymore--it's more like launching over. But other than that it's not that bad. The thought of being pregnant for a couple more weeks doesn't bother me much. A lot of people seem surprised that I am feeling so well. A couple of nights ago when we went to the temple (yes, I sat through the entire session and it wasn't bad at all), one of the workers asked when I was due, and when I told her her eyes got really wide and she said, "Are you okay? Are you sure you're okay?" Really, I'm feeling great. Baby Q seems to be feeling a little cramped, though. Even though it would be nice for this to all be over (although I guess it's not really an ending--more like a beginning), I keep trying to remember that every day that passes before he is born is one more day for the baby to develop and learn to breathe and digest. And I want a healthy baby!

One of my sisters-in-law had a baby in May, and another had her baby yesterday. Events like that have sort of helped break down the time for me. Tiffany having her baby was sort of the last event I was looking forward to before our baby coming. The only thing left to reach is the finish line (not that this is a race!).

A random side note: It still seems kind of weird that I have in-laws. They're not really like in-laws, though. After only a year I feel like they are my family. I love them all so much!

Last week I had to really work to get my wedding ring off. It kind of hurt. I guess my fingers are swelling up a little bit. I haven't been wearing it, and I really miss having it on. Hopefully it will fit again soon.

We took a maternity tour. It was nice to see where everything is and get some of our questions answered. Having an idea of what to expect makes me feel a little more prepared. It seems like the hospital does a good job of taking care of you, but I have a feeling I will be happy when I can come home to finish recovering in familiar surroundings. It's nice that the hospital is only a couple of minutes away.

Monday was the last day of our birth class. I'm glad we took the class. It has been interesting to get to know people who aren't members of our church who are having babies, since I have already known lots of people having babies in our ward. One of the members of our class had already had her baby, and she and her husband came with the baby to tell us about their experiences during the first couple of weeks after he was born. It was nice to hear their thoughts. At the beginning of our class everyone always got a turn to say their name and something good that happened during the week. One person said that her good thing was that she had a gift card to Babies R Us, but she went there and couldn't think of anything that she needed, and she thought it felt really good that she was ready. I decided I felt grateful that I haven't once had to go into Babies R Us!

And here's a picture I took last week when I had exactly four weeks left until the due date. If you compare it to the last picture I do look a little bigger.

one project accomplished

I've heard from a few different people about various pick-your-own strawberry farms around here, and I've been hoping to go to one for several weeks. Today we finally went and picked some strawberries at the Waller Family Farm. I was a little nervous about bending over and crouching to pick the strawberries, but it actually wasn't that uncomfortable for me, which is something to be grateful for. We went to Kroger and bought a couple of other things we needed, and then I made this strawberry freezer jam this afternoon. It was so easy and fast! I'm hoping to do one canning project before the baby comes, but if that doesn't happen I will still be satisfied because I really wanted to at least make the jam. I want to be able to say that I did something other than lay around and read books during the last couple of months before the baby came. It seems like a good time to try something new. I think we will do this every year. It will be a fun thing to do with the kids in a few years too.

I Feel My Savior's Love

I just turned on some music to listen to while I tidied up the living room a little bit, and the first song that started playing was I Feel My Savior's Love, sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. There have been many times throughout my life when this song has touched me and taught me new things about my Savior through the impressions of the Spirit. I think some of my first experiences of feeling the Holy Ghost took place when I was singing this song in primary. There's a reason we teach the little children this song in primary. You can read the entire song here. I'm just going to comment about a few phrases that stuck out in particular to me today.

2. I feel my Savior’s love;
Its gentleness enfolds me,
And when I kneel to pray,
My heart is filled with peace.

This has definitely been true for me many times. There have been times when I was so upset and worried about something that I couldn't stop thinking about it, and in that state I was completely incapable of making a decision or doing anything else (I'm afraid I've always been a worrier--an okay trait if you channel it the right way, but not when you let it get out of control). The only thing that helped was when I finally knelt and sincerely prayed: "Heavenly Father, I am really struggling. I don't know what to do, and I am so worried. Please help me to make the right decision. Please help me to feel peace. Please help me to be able to do this thing that seems too hard for me." It is the most beautiful feeling to put myself into His gentle hands and let Him heal and help me, to feel the Spirit witness that He loves me, that Christ understands the pain I am feeling because He experienced my sorrows, that if I trust in the Lord I will be able to accomplish whatever I am commanded to do, that I will be given the help I need to fulfill my responsibilities or find the answer to my problem. I have felt all of those things many times, and it really did fill my heart with peace--and not peace like the world can give us, but real, lasting peace.

3. I feel my Savior’s love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.

Chorus
He knows I will follow him,
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior’s love,
The love he freely gives me.

I know that our Savior loves us. He did something that we couldn't do four ourselves--he made it possible for us to return to Heavenly Father, rather than forever remaining in our sins and being cut off from the presence of the Lord. He satisfied the demands of justice and provided mercy for all of us who will accept that gift, repent of our sins, and be cleaned and purified. He suffered every pain we have experienced so that He would know how to help us, and He does help us. I have prayed for that many times, and I was filled with hope that things will work out. I think once I see things with a better perspective, I realize again that my little challenges are nothing compared to the wonderful things I have been blessed with, as well as the wonderful things I have been promised if I am faithful--and if I believe that, how can I not feel hope? I hope that I can be better at always remembering my Savior and that I can be more committed to dedicating my entire life to His great and marvelous work.

another pie

I made another pie a couple of days ago.

Here's the finished product:

And here's what it looked like before I baked it, just to prove that it actually did look nice when I put it in:

It was an apple pie. Other than the pie coming out looking like a round, blistered face, I only had one disappointment: It didn't take long enough to eat a piece of it. It tasted so good, and I wished I could enjoy it longer! We have two more pieces left, but they will probably be gone by the end of the day. I will have to try making one again soon. By the way, in case you didn't know, just because there is fruit in pie doesn't mean it is good for you--there is also a lot of sugar.

To keep myself occupied for the next month and a half, I have a few projects planned, involving sewing, canning, and scrap-booking (uh . . . what wedding album?). I will probably post pictures as I finish them because I am so proud of myself for trying something new. We'll see how much I actually do get done, because lately I have been amazed at how little energy I have for doing even the little things. But I intend to do my best without going overboard.

Some Recently Reads

I have read several good books lately. I normally read a lot of the classics (the good ones, not the dirty ones that some English teachers say are good and are actually not so good), but recently I came across some young adult fiction that I really enjoyed. Maybe doing so much Calculus combined with needing more sleep made me feel like I needed something a little easier to read. Here's what I have read:

Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech

I volunteer at an Elementary School twice a week, and several kids in one of the classes were reading this book. After listening to them read some parts aloud, I decided I really needed to read it. So I checked it out from the library about a month ago, and I read it instead of studying for a Calculus test. It's kind of odd that I did that, actually, because normally I am very good at putting school before reading fun books. And it's not that I don't like Calculus, either--I don't mind it. I would recommend this book if you want an easy, quick read. Even though I already had a pretty good idea of how it ended since one student read me the last chapter, I still felt intrigued and wanted to find out what would happen and how everything would fit together.

The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas

I had to show this specific cover because this is the one I am reading. At first I was nervous to carry this book in public because it seemed weird to be reading a book with a picture of a big, pompous old man on the front (I think it is Dumas). I haven't finished this one yet, but I've already decided that the movies don't do it justice. Most people know the part at the beginning, where Edmond Dantes spends fourteen years in prison even though he is innocent. He meets an old abbé who becomes his mentor, and together they attempt to escape by tunneling underneath the ground. The abbé leaves an enormous fortune to Edmond and dies soon after, and Edmond escapes. But that's not the main part of the book, even though this is what is emphasized in all the movies--I think the Wishbone version just shows him coming back to the real world and living happily ever after with all of his money. The book is actually about Edmond using his money to take revenge upon all the people who were involved in getting him unjustly imprisoned. That has made it a little frustrating to read because I've always been taught, "Thou shalt not avenge," and I hated to see kind, youthful Edmond change to become so focused on revenge. Reading about revenge does not generally give you warm fuzzies. And yet I still feel like I can't put it down because it's so interesting to see how Edmond carefully plans it all out, and Dumas does make some interesting points about human nature. It wouldn't be at all interesting if Edmond was a perfect character. Even though this book is over 1000 pages long, it doesn't feel like it is dragging. I'm glad I decided not to read the abridged version because I would be missing a lot of interesting parts. The one thing I cannot stand is that sometimes the dialogue is really superficial. There are some scenes between two people who are secretly in love, for example, that drive me nuts. All they do is tell each other that they will be faithful forever and that they are so miserable because they can't get married--"our love will last till the stars turned cold" stuff. Yuck. I guess that is romantic literature for you. Other than that it has been very interesting and thought-provoking. I'm glad I decided to read it now--I was afraid that if I waited much longer I would never find the time to read it.

Out of the Dust, by Karen Hesse

It's taken me a long time to read The Count of Monte Cristo because I've had homework to do. The library only lets you renew books once before you have to turn them back in, so I recently had to turn it in and wait 24 hours before I could go back and check it out again. I checked out Out of the Dust to read while I was waiting--I wasn't sure if I would be able to go back to the library for a few days. This was a really nice book. It's also a Newbery Medal book, even though this cover doesn't show that. It is entirely written in poetic form. There actually isn't that much involved in the story--instead you read a lot about Billie Joe's feelings and inner struggles. I felt like the poetic form helped the reader respond well emotionally to the book. The book is set in the time of the Dust Bowl. If you are looking for something that will be touching and not take too long to read, this is a good one.

Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine

Ella Enchanted is one of my favorite books. I reread it every few years. Fairest is not really the sequel to Ella Enchanted, but it is set in the same place and the main character is the adopted sister of Ella's friend Areida. Some of the story comes from Snow White. I've been wanting to read this since my roommate read it my freshman year at BYU, and I enjoyed it about as much as I enjoyed Ella Enchanted. I thought the book said a lot about the way our desires can affect our ability or resolve to do what is right.

Other than these books, I have also read/skimmed a couple of books about birth, baby care, and breastfeeding. I don't think I need to share my thoughts about those books on a blog. I've also read numerous board books that I found at the PTA thrift shop--a very good deal. I have been quite excited about what I have found there.

I would like to add a little more non-fiction to my reading. I want something that will help me be a more informed person and understand the world a little better--any interesting subject will do. Any recommendations?

You're supposed to decorate the baby's bedroom?

I have had a few people ask me if I've had any fun ideas for decorating the baby's nursery. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me that I should (and no, I still don't feel like I have to). I was thinking we would just get a crib, some kind of storage compartment for clothes, and maybe a soft chair to fall asleep in at three o-clock in the morning (or afternoon), and then we might make some kind of mobile so he doesn't have to stare at the white ceiling. He's not going to care, and it wouldn't be any different from any other room in the apartment. While reading various things about baby care, I've realized that people really do go all out to decorate the baby's nursery. Some people choose a new theme for each of their children and buy the complete bedding set to make the room look perfect. They have to buy the most adorable crib, dresser, book shelf, toy box, tea party table, and more, and then make sure the paint and all the furniture have coordinating color schemes. Then of course there is the stenciling for the walls and a cute Noah's ark border with matching curtains. In all, it can cost thousands of dollars. Amazing. I had no idea. I have no problem with a little creative decorating--it's not my idea of fun, but go ahead if you like it. But spending thousands of dollars?

I read about this idea online--definitely a winner: Buy a belly casting mold and make a cast of your belly when you're at about 8 1/2 months in your pregnancy. It will be a great memento for you and your baby, and you can do all sorts of fun things to decorate it--paint it to match the color scheme of your nursery, use stencils, or even paste the ultrasound photos on it.

Ummmmm . . . no way.

I liked the way my sister-in-law Kristi decorated her girls' bedroom--with lots of their own artwork, plenty of books, and several small items and decorations that made it a safe, happy room. Looking around that room, I could tell that she had tried to put in simple reminders to her girls that she loves them and that they are children of God. That's the kind of thing I want to focus on in the little decorating I do in all the rooms in our house. I think that other than the basics, the only things I must have to decorate the nursery are a picture of Christ and of the temple.

7.3-ish months, including a tummy picture for Michelle

Well, it's happened. I can't get into my temple dress. Fortunately the nice ladies at the temple let me borrow a nice big one, so we were still able to go to the temple last week--what a great experience. I think it has new meaning to me as the baby's birth comes closer. It is a wonderful blessing to serve in the temple, and I don't want to let being a parent hold me back from going back regularly because I doubt I can do it as well without the temple. My cub scout uniform won't button up either, so I have been wearing it over another shirt. It's mildly disconcerting when you try on your clothes and find you can't even get them on, even if it's for a good reason like a growing baby taking up all the space.

I took some tummy pictures last week, but I couldn't bear to post them. I told my sister Michelle that and she said she wanted to see them and that she thinks pregnant people look so pretty, so I decided to try taking another picture, and I was much happier with the results. It probably helped to take a picture of all of me instead of just my torso--that makes sense. I wanted to avoid having to show my face since I wasn't sure whether to smile or ignore the camera, but a close-up of one's own torso is probably enough to give anyone self-esteem issues, pregnant or not. So here is a picture of me today, with eight weeks to go, because I love Michelle--thanks for helping me to keep my commitment to keep some kind of record of what I look like pregnant.

This month things have been very different from before. Those little thumps have mostly been replaced by little lumps--meaning that lots of times I can feel a knee or an elbow or a foot or a head or something pushing hard for long periods of time, usually underneath or near my ribs. I'm amazed at this little guy's strength sometimes. It would be mildly disconcerting to feel those little lumps under the surface of my tummy if I didn't know it was a baby, but since it is a baby, it's kind of fun. I have to wonder if it's annoying or nice from Baby Q's perspective to feel me rubbing my tummy. I really am enjoying watching and feeling these changes take place in my body. It is amazing to me that my body knows how to build a human being and give him all the nourishment and oxygen he needs. I am having an interesting time figuring out how to sleep comfortably at night--it usually involves putting pillows all over the place. So far it hasn't been too hard to get a good night's sleep. If you come to visit, bring your own pillow, because I'm using all of ours.

I can't explain how much I love my little boy. I am trying to be prepared for labor without focusing so much on it that I don't enjoy anticipating being a mother, which is much more important. The thought of all the little things that are involved in tenderly nurturing my own child sometimes makes me happy to the point of tears. It seems so right to be doing this.

If you read this blog by getting emails from me, I'm not sure if you'll see the picture. You can always go here to see how my posts look on the blog.