Keep Thou My Feet

Holidays with a sensory kid are hard. Kevin has really thrived with the regular routine that he has at school, so when the routine is disrupted, as is the case with holidays, he often has a fight/flight response because he doesn't know what to do and his sensory experiences are different and less predictable. We didn't even get around to putting up the fake tree until last Sunday, and it's already in pretty bad shape. The kids can't keep their hands off of it, and it's been squished, knocked over, and bent. Forget the ornaments. We didn't even bother with those. There have definitely been more meltdowns and arguments since the break started.

We had occupational therapy this morning, so I had a chance to talk to the therapist about what we can do to help Christmas break go better. The most important thing is probably to make a plan with Kevin for what we're going to do each day so that he knows what to expect. We are also going to start the Wilbarger brushing protocol the day after Christmas. The OT thinks that it will really help Kevin to stay more regulated. To do it you brush all over the person's body with a special brush, using the same order every time, and then you compress all of their joints. She has done it a few times for him at therapy and it seems to help him focus, so we'll see how it goes. It definitely helps a lot to get outside to play, so we'll have to work hard to make that happen. It's been rainy and icky for several days, which has made it hard.

It's still hard to figure out how Kevin ticks. I know that he almost always calms down when we read books and that playing outside or in the hall helps. Chewing gum also seems to be calming. I need to remember to end things while they're still good instead after he goes crazy or has a meltdown. It's always better if I remember that. He literally does not understand the concept of "too loud." On Sunday in Sacrament meeting we kept telling him he was being too loud, and finally he said he didn't know what that meant.

I know that during the break I need to focus on spending quality time with the kids and being patient. I have to remember not to compare my kids to other people's kids. There are some battles I have chosen not to fight because it's not worth it right now, and that's okay. I also have to keep reminding myself how much things have improved in the past few months. Kevin communicates with us a lot better than he did a few months ago, and that really helps us to meet his needs. He also doesn't run away from me all the time like he used to, which has removed a lot of stress from my life.

I can also be a lot more patient with some of the things he does now because I recognize that those behaviors are related to dyspraxia and SPD, and that he's not deliberately trying to displease me. I can see that he refuses to say his own prayers without help because he struggles with praxis, not because he's being lazy. I can see that picking up the toys is overwhelming for him instead of feeling like he's just trying to get out of doing work.

On Sunday when Kevin was having a rough time, I decided to have him help me take out the trash. Pushing and lifting give him proprioceptive input and usually bring his arousal level down, which is why I thought it would help. We loaded the stroller up with the trash and recycling, and he pushed the stroller the whole way there. We found a VCR that someone had left by the dumpster, and Kevin said, "Oh, look, let's bring that home and take it apart." So he put it in the stroller and when we got back he and Ryan spent a couple of hours tinkering. He was really calm the entire time, too, so that was nice. At one point I started explaining to Kevin what a VHS tape was, and suddenly it felt really odd because it felt just like when I was a kid and my mom told me about the 8 track tapes.