in which I write about armpits

I'll tell you something that may or may not be surprising: I care what you think about me. Probably a little too much sometimes.

Today I took Kevin to basketball practice and I was mortified when I whipped off his jacket to find that he had a huge brown blob that resembled chocolate on the front of his basketball shirt. He had put that shirt on five minutes before we left, straight from the laundry basket, and somehow managed to get it dirty in that amount of time without me noticing (I think he snuck a chocolate chip cookie). I was so embarrassed that I was the mom who showed up with the kid in the dirty basketball shirt and I worried for the first ten minutes of the practice that people would judge me harshly before mostly getting over it.

I put a fair amount of effort into impressing people. I wouldn't say it's excessive, but if I'm going to the grocery store I will make sure that the kids' clothes are clean and cute and that I'm wearing one of my nicer outfits, just so that I can impress the strangers.

When a large group of LDS women decided to wear dress pants to church on a certain Sunday, I had one friend who wrote on Facebook that she was glad she was participating because she didn't feel up to shaving her legs that day. I commented and said that I wish the feminists would start a movement encouraging our society to stop expecting women to constantly shave their armpits. I'm a little surprised that I had the courage to even say that, but I regretted it soon after when a friend of my friend, a person who I don't know at all, said that, ewww, as a woman she disagreed because hairy armpits are unattractive and gross (not her exact words, but that was the gist). I was hurt by this comment that a complete stranger made, and I ended up replying with some pathetic apology about how I agreed that hairy armpits are kind of gross but I still don't like having to shave.

I know that woman is probably never going to read my blog, but right now I am going to publicly retract my apologetic comment. I stand by what I said. The expectation that women shave their armpits is forced on us by our culture and our society, and I see little reason for it. The only actual benefit I've heard of from having shaven armpits is that it diminishes body odor, but my personal experience doesn't support that claim. I have, however, experienced plenty of unpleasant side effects from shaving my armpits, which make it completely not worth it to shave frequently, which is why I decided long ago to shave if I felt like it, not because of what other people think. Besides, if you're examining my armpits that closely then you're really weird.

First of all (and this is the main reason), shaving my armpits hurts. I know that many men find it painful to shave their faces (I am married to one such man), and for many women it is the same for shaving their armpits. It hurts when I'm shaving, it hurts afterwards, it hurts most of the time for the next week when tiny hairs are growing in and poking the sensitive skin everywhere. And yes, I've heard all the recommendations for making it hurt less, and it doesn't work for me. Why in the world should I endure such pain all the time just to impress everyone else with my clean-shaven armpits that they probably won't even notice?

Second, shaving takes up a lot of showering time. As it is, I resent that it takes me about 45 minutes to get the shampoo to rinse out of all my thick hair (and then several more hours for my hair to air dry). I would much rather read a book with my kids, or go on a walk, or fix my hair, or even clean the baseboards than waste valuable time on my armpits, of all things. Don't get me wrong, I believe in good hygiene and I love being clean, but whether or not your armpits have hair isn't necessarily a hygiene thing. I still wash mine with soap regularly and they are clean.

And that is why I stopped shaving my armpits regularly a long time ago. I do it if I feel like I want to for my own sake, but I don't care anymore what society thinks of my armpits. And if you are grossed out by that, I don't really care anymore. You are welcome to shave your armpits if you like it, but I think it's dumb to judge people based on their armpits. My face is just a few inches higher--how about you look there instead?

Hopefully my family isn't too mortified that I posted this, but occasionally I like to rant. I will try not to be too sensitive about differing opinions.