my first day back in school

Wednesday was my first day back in school. I am only taking two classes this semester, and one is online, but even that seems like a ton of work when I have a month-old baby who likes to be held all the time. I have often considered dropping out or at least waiting a year, but every time I think about it I immediately have a strong feeling that I have to keep plowing through. Graduating from college didn't seem like much of a challenge when I was a freshman at BYU, but now that I have a baby to take care of and I still have about 70 credits to finish, I think when I graduate I will consider it a great accomplishment. Maybe I will appreciate my college education a little more. RT has been so supportive and is taking care of K while I am in class.

It was a really hot day. I rode the campus shuttle to a bus stop by the hospitals, where I would catch another bus that would take me halfway to Raleigh, where I would then catch another bus that would take me to NCSU. It's a long process, but it's worth it to save the gas money (NCSU students ride for free), and I can also study during my commute, which I couldn't do if I was driving. Fortunately I can ride the express bus to get back home, which is much nicer.

After arriving at NCSU, I had to do a couple of things before going to class, so I took care of those things and then went to my class. It took a little longer than I expected, and then I couldn't figure out where my class was because the building had a somewhat-odd numbering system, so I walked into my class late. I was dripping in sweat (should I say perspiration instead?) and breathing hard because I was so hot, and my hair was frizzy because of the humidity. I was pretty embarrassed because I was late and I knew I looked like a mess. I looked around, and it seemed like 3/4 of the class was composed of beautiful girls with perfect hair. I had to wonder if I'm the only person who perspires in this state. RT says it's because I grew up in Idaho, and Idaho is never humid and doesn't get this hot as often. It will probably affect my ability to adjust to climates for the rest of my life.

The teacher discussed a couplet from a poem and also the prologue to the Canterbury Tales. He had some interesting insights. I thought about my AP English class and decided I was gypped (by the way, I just barely found out that that word isn't spelled "jipped"--I had no idea!). Not that this was a surprise--I was already pretty sure that we hadn't been taught very much about literature in that class. For one thing, we only spent one day talking about poetry--I've always wished that I knew more about how to read and appreciate poetry. I have a feeling that there aren't very many good English teachers anymore. I hope I will learn a lot from this teacher and get a better idea of what I can do to continue learning how to appreciate literature better. I guess that is probably an ability that comes with practice and careful thought.

This wasn't the first time I had been away from K, but I was away for quite a while, and I really missed him. As much as I like school, I kept wishing I was at home with him. Even though it seems like all I do with him right now is feed and hold him and change his diaper, being a mom is so much more meaningful than what I do in school. I'm trying to remember how much we have been told recently by leaders of the church that it is important for women to get an education. I know that it will help me develop skills that will help me be a better parent and also that it's a very good idea to be prepared in case I ever need to go to work.

K seems to be sleeping a little better at night. In the beginning it was very hard to get him to sleep in the bassinet because he would startle awake. Sometimes he slept okay if we put him on his side (held in place by some lovely wedges), but it was still hard. We finally started putting him in an infant seat or the swing, and he seemed to sleep better there, although he still would often cry until we held him. But the last few days he has slept exclusively in the bassinet at night and has done just fine, and he has generally only awakened to eat every three hours. He is even learning to soothe himself back to sleep, which he never would do before--if he started to cry he would not stop unless we took care of him. It must be hard to get used to having a body--I'm glad that he's starting to get the hang of some things.

He's also grown a lot in the last week and a half. One day I tried on some of his three-month size clothes, and they were still way too big, and it seemed like it was only a few days later when they fit him perfectly. At his doctor appointment on Tuesday he weighed 11 lbs and was 22 inches long--he went from being in the 50th percentile to the 75th percentile in two weeks. I'm amazed at how big he has gotten. It's also been amazing to see how much he has changed and watch him develop a personality. His neck and legs are very strong, and he's starting to smile a little bit at us and often focuses his gaze on our faces or other objects.

We can't figure out what color K's eyes are. I don't think there's a color that describes it. They're kind of purplish-greenish-greyish-blackish-brownish-blueish, and very, very dark.