going back in time

I don't know why I never posted this, but I guess I still should. I wrote this when K was four weeks old.

My baby is four weeks old. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. It's been really hard. I've been pretty grumpy and emotional at times. But I have also been incredibly happy. Often in the past few years I have felt like something was missing from my life, and I think motherhood is filling in that gap. I hope I'm treasuring this time as much as I should. K is a very special person. I don't think I realized you can get to know a baby as well as I know him--and I still know so little about him.

Last Sunday I went back to church for the first time. I've been feeling almost back to normal for a couple of weeks, and I couldn't stay away from church any longer. I needed to go back. As RT parked the car I felt close to tears because I was so happy to be at church and to see all the people in my ward again. I've been in some really nice wards in the past--the ward I grew up in was nice, and the two singles wards I was in at BYU were both really fun. But I didn't love those wards in the way I love the one I'm in now. Often when we stand up and sing the rest hymn together I look around and can't help crying because I just love the people in my ward so much. It was so nice to be surrounded by those wonderful, loving friends again. I was also so grateful for the spirit I felt during the meetings (and I actually didn't miss much since K only got hungry during sacrament meeting, which I could still hear in the mother's room!). The teachers do such a nice job--I think the main reason is because they mostly allow the class to make comments. I love church!

The fire alarm in our building went off at about midnight last night. As soon as I heard it (it is really loud and just the right pitch to make it painful to hear it), I expected K to wake up and cry, but he didn't even notice. The only reason he woke up was because I picked him up, and he drifted off to sleep again in a few seconds. I promise he passed his hearing test. I'm sure other people with children who are actually on a schedule didn't appreciate the alarm very much. We did have a good time talking to some friends who live in the building and meeting some people who are new in our ward.

I love that food tastes normal to me again. Oatmeal, cold cereal, and bread often made me sick throughout my pregnancy, but now they taste good again. It was an immediate change--amazing.

I also love that I can move around normally again. I can bend over to pick things up. I can sit down on the floor like a human instead of an elephant. I can roll over in bed. Best of all, I can hug RT without feeling like he's still a foot away.