Goodreads Review: Ethnic America by Thomas Sowell

Ethnic America: A History by Thomas Sowell
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It always seems like an accomplishment when I finish a non-fiction book, but this one was well worth the seven weeks it took to read it. Ethnic America has some very interesting insights. Sowell analyzes several ethnic groups (Chinese, Japanese, Irish, Italian, African, Mexican, Puerto Rican, German, Jews--each group gets its own chapter) that have immigrated to the United States at various times. He discusses their background in their homeland and reasons for emigrating, how they fared and what their occupations were once they came here, and how their children, and then grandchildren, fared. If you want to understand issues like immigration, discrimination, and affirmative action better, this is a good read. It was written in the 1980s, so it is a little out of date, but I was still able to learn a lot from it.

Here are some of the things that stuck out to me as I was reading:

(I think this was meant to be Sowell's thesis, although he didn't do a great job of making it clear.) When we see inequality of income when comparing different ethnic groups, our society tends to immediately point to racism and discrimination as the cause. But often the differences have more to do with factors like the region the ethnic group tends to live in, cultural differences, or average age of the ethnic group--and people who point this out are discounted and called racists! For example, if you look at national averages, African Americans have lower incomes than the national average. But if you compare incomes in specific regions, African American incomes are similar to those of others in the same region. Sowell says that African American incomes are lower than the national average because they are concentrated in the South, where income is lower for most people than the national average. So they have lower incomes because they live in a poorer region, and not necessarily because of discrimination. It's rather unfortunate that the default is to point to racism because it can prevent the real problem from being addressed, and it creates contention unnecessarily.

Most of the immigrant groups had a difficult time at first. The incomes of the first generation tended to be low, and often they had bad living conditions. The second generation tended to do a little better, and by the third or fourth generation most groups seem to have reached the national average for income. When children were allowed and encouraged to attend public school, it was beneficial for the immigrants because the children learned English and American customs and policies there, and were therefore able to help their parents to become more acculturated as well. The Chinese had a very difficult time because there were so many single men or men who had left their families behind in China, and then immigration policies prevented more Chinese from coming to the United States, which meant that for a long time there was no second generation to help the first generation immigrants adjust to American culture.

It seems to me that it is worth it to invest in helping immigrants become acculturated, especially to help them learn English and teach their children. In the past, policies that have discriminated against immigrant groups (for example, the Chinese) prevented them from adjusting and thriving in the United States, which led to disease and violence. In the long run, helping them adjust is less costly because they can then contribute to our society.

I think it is important for the United States to enable people to immigrate here legally. Right now the process for doing so is very difficult, and nearly impossible for people who are poor and barely literate (Ryan's advisor from Germany said it was easier to apply to graduate school than it was to apply for a green card--and if that's what a professor thinks, how easy do you think it is for someone with very little education?). Yes, initially it can be a little costly because of ESL programs and such, but in general the ethnic groups that Sowell talked about adjusted to American life with in a couple of generations, and mainly this was accomplished through their own hard work and the things their children learned in public school. We also benefit from the influence of other cultures. For example, one of the most important contributions that the Germans made was to show other [very Puritanical] Americans that there is no harm in good, clean fun. They came with a love of sports, music, dancing, and other entertainment and helped other Americans to enjoy that too. I think we would be a very different place without that influence.

Conditions in the immigrants' country of origin played a huge role in how they lived after coming to the United States. The Irish had been suppressed by England for so long that they learned how to develop their own groups to support different causes, which is why they were so good at building up the political machines in the United States. The Italians were suppressed too, but it was different because they lived in small villages that were basically run by one rich person who could do whatever he wanted to the poor villagers, so the Italians learned to be most loyal to their family and close friends, which meant that in the United States they weren't as inclined to start larger groups for Italians in general as the Irish had been. Both the Irish and Italians lacked a desire to "go the extra mile" because in their country of origin it could actually do more harm than good to work harder than you had to, which in some ways inhibited their ability in the United States to move upward. Cultural characteristics like these could persist for several generations.


View all my reviews

thoughts about prayer

After Kevin was lost, and thankfully found again, at the park a few weeks ago, I pondered a lot about prayer. While we were looking for him, I said many prayers, both aloud and in my heart, and so did my friends. I told my Heavenly Father that I couldn't live without Kevin, that our family needed him, and pleaded that He would send Kevin back to us. While I had faith that a miracle could happen, at the time I was also afraid of what would happen if my prayers were not answered in the way I hoped. I knew that the gospel is true and that I would not give up my faith in God if something happened to Kevin, but I was also afraid of the effects that would have on my testimony. I wasn't sure if God would change what was going to happen just because I asked for it. I worried that the only reason for my prayers was to get me communicating with God, and not to actually change the outcome of this situation.

I talked to Ryan about this later, and I think these feelings came from something we often talk about in church which is summarized in the Bible Dictionary of the LDS scriptures: "Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them." In my prayers, I was afraid to pray for what I wanted because I was afraid that it was not the will of God. I was afraid that my prayers, while helpful because I was communicating with God, would not change what was going to happen. If the purpose of prayer was to align my will with God's will, I wasn't sure if I could pray with faith because I knew that I could never make it my will to lose my own child even if it was God's will. I realize this was a misconception, but I've heard it enough in church that it was still there in my subconscious. (I also don't think it is ever God's will for someone's child to die--even if he does not always prevent it from happening, I believe that he always shares our sorrow when it does happen.)

Ryan pointed out that there are abundant examples in the scriptures of times when prayer has changed the course of events. The records of the Nephites were preserved because many people prayed for it. Nephi asked God to send a famine to humble the Nephites rather than have them destroy themselves because of their wickedness and contentions. The people of Jared were given light when they crossed the ocean because the brother of Jared asked for it. Many people were healed by Christ because they asked--if they hadn't asked, would it still have happened? Probably not. There are many times in the scriptures when phrases like, "Ask and ye shall receive" are used. It seems clear that God wants us to ask him for blessings. Asking can make things happen that would not have happened otherwise. It's true that sometimes He doesn't give us the blessing we ask for. But I don't think that means that the only reason to ask is so that our will can be aligned with God's. That is very important too, but I think when we study and teach about prayer, it is important that we remember that God does intervene on our behalf if we ask for it, so it's okay to ask God to bless us with our righteous desires, and we don't have to feel guilty if he says no, because it is no sin to ask if it is a righteous request. And if the answer is not what we wanted, it's also okay to ask why, or to at least ask to be given understanding and comfort. God knows our trials and our pains, and he realizes that we don't see what he sees, so I think it is to be expected that he will be understanding and compassionate if we are confused or hurt or disappointed by his answers, as long as we also try to be humble and faithful.

I think this makes sense if you understand the relationship we have with God. He is our Heavenly Father and we are his children. My dad once told me that if we (my siblings and I) came to him with righteous desires, he always tried to help us have them if it was possible. Our relationship with God is the same. He won't give us everything we want, and he can't always prevent bad things from happening to us, but he wants to bless us, and he wants us to ask.

Kevin's first talk

Today Kevin gave his first talk in Primary. He did a great job, and we were so proud of him. It was special to get to practice it with him and try to help him understand that the family is central to Heavenly Father's plan for us. Here is what he said (with promptings from me):

My family is special to God. My family is my mom, my dad, my sister Heidi, and me. Heavenly Father wants our family to be together forever. In the temple our families can be sealed together. I am thankful for the temple. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

enough with the Pinterest hate

Recently I have seen several articles that refer to the hundreds of moms who weep on their pillows at night because of Pinterest. Why? Apparently it's because on their friends' boards, they see the sewing projects, the fancy cakes, the incredible birthday parties, and the perfectly decorated living rooms, and since they are not doing all those things, they feel inadequate, inferior, and depressed.

I don't think they are using Pinterest correctly. If you don't care to do more than cupcakes (from a mix) and a present for your children's birthday parties, then why in the world are you following birthday party boards on Pinterest? Go to those boards and click the Unfollow button right now! You do not need to follow every board that every one of your Facebook friends creates.

Pinterest can be a really useful tool to help you organize your goals and build up your talents. I started using it because I had seen several sewing ideas online that I wanted to save and I didn't want to have one hundred bookmarks on my browser. It's great because if I am in the mood to start a project, I can go to my sewing board on Pinterest and get a reminder of some of the things I wanted to make--and the bonus is that there's a picture so I don't have to go to the website to remember what it looked like. I have Pinterest boards for recipes, sewing, things to do with my kids, ideas for my three month supply class, and a few more. I don't have boards for birthday parties, decorating my house, or making fancy cakes. I don't have a board for any holidays. I don't like spending a lot of time on those things. I also only follow specific boards where the friend seems to consistently pin things that I find interesting. Currently I'm following 14 boards. If a person starts obsessively pinning recipes for mashed cauliflower and quinoa burgers, I unfollow, because I'm not looking for that kind of recipe right now. I have been very purposeful about how I use Pinterest so that it is useful to me instead of irritating and depressing, and I have benefited from using it.

So my suggestion for the people who get depressed by Pinterest is that you take some time to evaluate how you are using it. Make a few boards for topics that sincerely interest you. Only follow friends' boards if you find their pins useful. And keep in mind that Pinterest is meant to be used to share and keep track of ideas. For most people it's not a place to show off the things they have done; it's a place to share things they might try. Chances are that mom who has twenty pins on her "Sally's Fifth Birthday" board is only going to use three or four of the ideas. So don't feel inferior that you're not doing all of the things your friends pin, because they're not doing them all either.

At least, that's my take on it.

cow appreciation day

I have known about Cow Appreciation Day for a couple of years, but this was the first year we took advantage of it. Basically, if you dress up like a cow, you can get free food at Chick-Fil-A. I like free, and I like Chick-Fil-A's chicken nuggets. I also like seeing friends, and we had several friends who were going to go at the same time. I didn't feel up to doing full cow costumes (which gets you an entire meal), but I could handle coloring black spots and taping them on our shirts (which gets you a free entree). So we went, and we got free chicken nuggets.

Kevin liked the guy in the cow suit that was giving kids hugs and high fives. Heidi was overwhelmed by all the people and wouldn't even eat any chicken (not that she will eat chicken anyway, but I sort of thought chicken nuggets would be a different story).

Kevin did a good job eating a few chicken nuggets, but then he wanted to go in the play area, so I said that was fine. Here he is peeking out of the car, which he thought was so cool.

Heidi really wanted to go in the play area too, but I didn't really want to let her go in there with all of those bigger kids, which made her a little frustrated with me. For that reason, we didn't stay for very long. Kevin came out with one shoe off, and I shoved the shoe in my purse and dragged them out. But we still had a fun time. Maybe next year I will plan ahead and our costumes will be a little cooler.

Speaking of Chick-Fil-A's chicken nuggets, I found this copycat recipe and it was quite good. I used whole wheat for the breading because we were completely out of white flour, and it turned out just fine .

favorite pretend games

Recently Kevin has become much better at imagining and pretending, and Heidi loves to join in. Here are a couple of the kids' favorites:

• Playing dogs--For Kevin this means barking loudly, crawling on all fours, licking people wherever is convenient (pant legs, feet, arms), drinking from imaginary water bowls in the kitchen (which Kevin believes is all the sustenance a dog needs), and playing fetch. Heidi loves to join in.
• Serving Mom desserts--Our piano apparently is fully equipped with any imaginary dessert a person could desire. The kids always want to cut slices of cake by sticking knives between the keys (which is NOT allowed). They will bring me desserts and put them in my hands and then wait for me to taste them and say how good they are. I can also make requests for specific flavors, colors, and toppings. Occasionally they will bring me napkins to wipe my face and hands. Recently the restaurant has branched out, so sometimes I can get imaginary sandwiches or imaginary soup.
• Hitting bears with pots and pans--we all leave the room when Kevin starts playing this one!
• Dumping bins of toys onto the couch and then "driving away" like the recycling truck.
• This isn't exactly pretending, but before he goes to bed at night he always asks to tell us about movies. If we're willing to stay and listen, he can describe his favorite movies in impressive detail. It's pretty amazing how he can quote the movies so accurately and mentions so many details. He usually starts with Monsters, Inc., and after that he'll talk about Spirited Away, Finding Nemo, Up, or others. Sometimes I catch him acting out scenes from the movies, like when he was cutting some paper with scissors and then spontaneously started pretending he was the old man from Up and was cutting the balloon strings in the fire place.
• Kevin pulled out a bunch of random items from the kitchen and toy box and spent hours making something. He had a baby food maker (the kind with a crank), a knife sharpener, a mixing bowl, some spatulas, a shoe, and some cars. He used the shoe and cars to measure ingredients. The baby food maker was the mixer, which he used by cranking the handle. When he need more imaginary milk, he would get it from the fridge, dump it in the mixing bowl, and then come back and pour it into his "mixer." If the "mixer" got broken, he fixed it with the knife sharpener, which was his screwdriver. I never did completely figure out what they were doing other than cooking, but the game made perfect sense to Heidi. Once she joined in, her job was to get the imaginary milk. The game kept them occupied for a few hours, spread throughout the day.

I know that too much TV is not supposed to be good for kids, but I have to say I am indebted to PBS Kids for the things Kevin has learned. I think it is one of the reasons he has become more interested in pretending, because after seeing shows he will reenact them when he's playing and also build on the ideas he saw in the show. He can quote a lot of shows word for word (books too). Kevin likes it when we eat popcorn for lunch and watch videos on pbskids.org.

• Our favorite is Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. It is about the people from Make Believe Land in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Daniel Tiger is the son of Daniel Striped Tiger from the show, and a lot of the other characters have grown up and had children. The show is great for helping children to solve problems and deal with their emotions. Every show has a little jingle that the characters sing several times in the show to emphasize the lesson. Kevin sings them all the time when he's playing or trying to do something, and it has been great because they help him to not be so frustrated. We often sing them ourselves to remind him to take turns, run to the potty, keep trying, and so on. Here are some of the ones he sings: "Keep trying; you'll get better!" "You can take a turn, and then I'll get it back." "If you have to go potty, stop and go right away, then flush and wash and be on your way." "Making something is one way to say I love you." "See what it is; you might feel better." "Clean up, pick up, put away; clean up everyday." He has also learned to button his own buttons from the show because Daniel's dad shows Daniel a trick for buttoning where you say, "Peekaboo . . . pull it through!" Now if they would just do an episode about how to pump your legs on the swings, I would be thrilled!
• Kevin also loves Curious George, and while I don't love it, I do appreciate what it has done for Kevin's social skills. One of the things we have observed about Kevin is that in some social situations he doesn't know how to act until he gets a template or example of how to act. Curious George has become a template for him, so it has helped him figure out how to do things like respond enthusiastically if he is offered something he wants, or get excited when he's figured something out, or laugh when he thinks something is funny. It's sort of weird because all of a sudden he's become a little more childlike. (Not sure if this will make sense for people who don't know Kevin very well.) I also like the way George likes to make things he sees at the store and uses simple math and measuring to solve problems. It seems like in the shows George is a lot less mischievous than in the books.
• Another show he sometimes likes to watch is The Cat in the Hat. I think The Cat in the Hat has become the new Magic School Bus. Sally (the girl from the books) and Nick (her neighbor) start wondering about various science topics, and then the Cat comes with his "Thingamajigger" (which Kevin calls the "heenadigger") and takes them to go figure it out. Before they leave, the cat always says, "Your mother will not mind at all if we do," and then the kids ask their mom for permission.

Recently I finally introduced Kevin and Heidi to the joys of painting with watercolors, which they really enjoyed. Kevin is also becoming pretty good at cutting and gluing, which is one of his favorite things to do. And I also finally got around to buying cheap masking tape. Kevin enjoys making roads, letters, and numbers on the carpet with it. I also showed him how to make complicated lines with it and then balance on the lines. Soon I am hoping to try this and this. Kevin doesn't really like to draw or trace letters using a crayon or pencil, but he is much more comfortable painting letters, scratching them in the dirt, or making them with tape.

Kevinisms

Happy fourth birthday to the coolest little boy! It is so amazing to remember the day he was born and see all of the things he has learned since then.

Here are some of our favorite recent Kevinisms:

"I want farmers on cheese." (Parmesan cheese)

"I want to make a sammich, and I want to do the sanataise." (He has moved from calling mayonnaise manatees, and now calls it sanataise.) It's very convenient that Kevin can make his own sandwiches. He also does a good job making his own scrambled eggs.

"I hate it when . . . "

"Ha-yaa!" (This is how he says, "Ta-da!")

"No, Dad, I'm on MOM'S side!" (He is saying this because sometimes when the kids get in trouble from Dad, they come to me to be comforted, and I respond by saying, "I'm on Dad's side.")

"Are you interested in _______ or something?" (Fill in the blank with going to the park, going for a walk, playing with dominoes, etc.)

"A little bit." (By which he means, "a little bit more." Heidi has started saying the same thing after hearing him say it.)

"Can you go out? I just need some privacy."

"CE-BUUUUUUUU!!!" Or, alternatively, "Say PLEEEAAASE!!!!" (Click link if you don't know what a Cebu is.)

"A sewing . . . maCHINE, a sewing . . . maCHINE, Jesus wants me for a SEWING machine!"

"Disgusting!" (If you've seen Spirited Away, think of the scene with the stinky river spirit coming to the bath house, and the way Yubaba cackles and says, "Disgusting!" That's exactly how Kevin says it--and it's probably where he learned the word.)

"I want pop-pop-pop-popcorn."

7/6/13
Ryan had the audacity to break Kevin's breadstick in half because it was long and unwieldy. Kevin gave him a hard time about it through the entire meal. "No, Dad, do NOT break my breadstick. That was very, very bad." And so forth.

7/11
Kevin: Mom, what are you doing?
Me: I'm crying.
Kevin: Why?
Me: Well, for some reason I'm really sad today, and I'm not really sure why.
Kevin: Oh. Well, you should go lie down on your bed and wait for Dad to come home so he can get you.
(This happened around lunchtime. When Ryan came home several hours later, Heidi told him very solemnly, "Dad, Mom crying," except it sounded like she said dying.)

7/16
Kevin: There are monsters in this cave. They're going to get you.
Me: Oh, dear, are they going to eat me?
Kevin: (as if he couldn't believe I would suggest something so ridiculous) No, they will just spit you out.

Kevin is getting better about saying his prayers by himself. He has been capable of doing so for over a year, but most of the time he insisted on us telling him what to say, and he would only repeat it himself occasionally. But recently he realized that if he says his own prayers, he can say whatever he wants to, so now if we start to help him, he says, "Stop. I want to say it myself." Usually in his prayers he will say, "Thank you that we can go to the park, and my web not be broken (in reference to the rope structure at Old Chapel Hill Road Park)."

Other kids know who Kevin is. Even the Asian families at the playground seem to know his name. Ryan substituted in Primary on Sunday, and even though the kids in the class were a few years older than Kevin, when Ryan told them he was Kevin's dad, their faces all lit up and they said, "Oh, we know who Kevin is!" He's very friendly and genuinely likes everybody, and he's also a lot of fun, so maybe that's why. Or maybe he talks a lot in Primary.

He is in a fun stage. Sometimes he still drives me crazy, but he is much less of a handful than he was when he was two or three. He says so many fun things and he has a lot of fun. I enjoy it when he surprises me with something I didn't realize he knew, like when out of the blue he starts singing an entire primary song. Today he started singing "I Like to Look for Rainbows" at the top of his lungs, and let me tell you, it's very gratifying to hear your own child singing, "I want to be the BEST I can, and live with God again." That's what I want for him too.