On Being 30

In March I turned 30. I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I love being an adult. Don't get me wrong, I've had some of the hardest trials of my life in the past ten years. In just the last year and a half I've had a miscarriage, a c-section, a baby in the NICU, and postpartum depression. But still I think being 30 is pretty awesome.

One reason I love being 30 is that I have so much more freedom. I can buy clothes at whatever stores I like. I can choose what I want to eat. I can choose how I want to spend my time. I don't have other people telling me I have to be at school at certain times or take certain classes or complete certain assignments. It can be overwhelming at times when there's a lot to get done, but I love that I can choose what's most important for me to be doing.

I love having more social maturity. Ten and twenty years ago I just wasn't mature enough to know how to make friends. I worried so much about what other people thought of me and fitting in. I felt embarrassed wearing flip flops because my big toes were crooked. I thought I had a big nose. I was afraid my eyebrows looked funny. Now I don't have time to worry about minor things like that. I do still wonder what people think of me, but it's not nearly to the extent that I worried when I was younger.

I love that my health is up to me. Growing up I always hated PE classes because I wasn't as flexible, fast, athletic, or strong as most people. Baseball and volleyball were the worst. As an adult I've been able to realize that I enjoy exercising even though I hate sports. That means I can exercise in ways that are empowering and exhilarating for me. Whether I can touch my toes is nobody's business. I never have to play volleyball again if I don't want to. I've figured out that I love lifting weights and pilates. If I'm getting up and moving consistently then I can feel good about doing what's right for my body.

I've learned to see the complexity in life. I'm better at analyzing viewpoints I disagree with and understanding why people think the way they do. I'm better at recognizing when I'm wrong. I'm better at critical thinking and recognizing emotional manipulation.

Adults can be friends with people of any age. I've never let myself be too limited by age, and some of my best friends growing up were two or three years older than me, but now I have friends who are over 30 years older than me. (This was not so easy when I was a 20-year-old newly-wed in a family ward where most of the other women were 28 or older.)

So hang in there, awkward middle schoolers. It really gets better every year.