Things the kids say/do

Heidi has taken to referring to portions of plural objects as a "patch." As in, I put a patch of grapes in my lunch. Ann Marie, do you want to play with my patch of slime? This is my patch of cards. Don't use a big patch of toilet paper or you'll clog the toilet. We need a new patch of toilet paper because the other one's gone. Did we finish the other patch of hot dogs?

One day Heidi showed me a bandaid on her knee and told me it had happened at recess.

Heidi: But it was okay, Mom, because Gigi and Alicia helped me. Alicia helped me walk and then they both helped me by cleaning it.
Me: Oh, so they went with you to the nurse's office?
Heidi: No, we didn't go to the nurse's office. They just cleaned it outside and then I got a bandaid from my teacher.
Me: Wait, so how did they clean it if you stayed at the playground? (thinking maybe they used their shirts or something)
Heidi: Oh, they just used bark and wood chips from the playground.
Me: . . .

Another conversation with Heidi:
H: So Mom, Gigi and I are wearing dresses today. We want to look really cute because Gigi needs my help with getting a crush on Hunter. Gigi has a crush on Hunter, but he doesn't have a crush on her, so we have to look pretty.
Me: (slightly taken aback) Well, Heidi, do you want to know what boys like even better than when girls look pretty?
H: (very eagerly) What?!!
Me: Girls who are nice friends.
H: Oh, so we need to wait until he falls down so we can go help him up.
Me: Well, you could also just try asking him to play with you. Or you could ask him questions, like what's your favorite book or what's your favorite movie?
H: Okay, so we'll wait for him to fall down and go help him.

So that was a productive conversation. I think.

Ann Marie has decided to always say tomade and banan instead of tomato and banana.

Ann Marie has informed me that the baby's body is going to come out where babies normally come out, but her head is going to come out through my mouth and then the doctor will put the head and body together.

In the waiting room at the doctor's office:
Ann Marie: So, Mom, does the doctor take you apart to get the baby out, or . . . how do they get the baby out?
Me: Well, the mom pushes the baby out.
Ann Marie: So does the doctor push the baby out? (pushing on my stomach)
Me: No, the mom pushes the baby out.
Ann Marie: Oh, so you push the baby out. Um, OK.