The Birth Story of Ann Marie Tanner

If you're not interested in all the details, here's a brief synopsis: Twelve days after Ann Marie's due date, I had my membranes swept for the third time. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go to my induction that was scheduled for fifteen days after the due date. That night at 11:30 I started having contractions, but they didn't really have a pattern. Around 3:00 a.m. I got in the tub and things started to pick up, so we called the babysitter and went to the birth center. Around 7:00 I was definitely in transition and I was making a lot of noise. I'm not sure when I started pushing, but it was really hard for me to make progress and it felt different from my previous labors. Finally at 9:21 a.m. on June 1st she was born and we found out that she was born posterior, which means her face was forwards instead of backwards like most babies. That's why I had such a hard time pushing. She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. and she is healthy and beautiful. We went over our list of names and felt very strongly that she wanted to be named Ann Marie.

Ryan wrote this and then I added my thoughts in italics.

We had been waiting for a while for Ann Marie to come. She was almost two weeks past her due date, but this wasn’t surprising since both Kevin and Heidi were late. Marcelaine made several trips to the Birth Center over the previous week to do non-stress tests and to have her membranes swept. Each time the midwifes told her that she was two or three centimeters dilated but no real progress. On Friday (May 30^th) Angela Haniford offered to watch Kevin and Heidi so that we could both go to the midwife. We met with Carrie and she checked Marcelaine. On Saturday, May 31^st we met with the midwife (Emily) again. Marcelaine was inside while I was out playing and exploring with Kevin and Heidi. We walked around the Birth Center and checked out all the interesting bushes, sticks and stuff.

On Thursday I was 3 cm and I had the first membrane sweep. It was hard to walk out to the car and my belly hurt continuously the entire drive home. I kept thinking it felt wrong because I was tight at the top of my uterus and soft at the bottom, and I felt really panicky. When I got home I changed into more comfortable clothes with difficulty and tried to rest and calm down. I ended up rocking in the rocking chair with my hands on my belly, trying to focus the tightness throughout my belly instead of just on top. I felt safer at home and gradually the constant tightness changed into contractions. They were intense enough that I had to concentrate through them, but I could tell this wasn't the real thing yet. After I had calmed down some I came out and had some lunch and then spent the next few hours in the rocking chair or on the couch. After about four hours the contractions seemed like they were going away and I decided to go see if I could take a nap. When I woke up they had stopped. I was partly discouraged that I hadn't been in labor after all, but also ecstatic because this meant that the membrane sweep had done something.

On Friday I had another non-stress test scheduled and I knew I would probably ask for another membrane sweep. I figured that it probably wasn't a good idea to drive home myself after my experience the day before, so that was why Angie watched Kevin and Heidi for us, so that Ryan could drive. The non-stress test went well and when the midwife checked me she said there had been some progress. I was still 3 cm dilated, but Ann Marie’s head had descended quite a bit and my cervix was easier to find. I had another sweep and was able to cope with this one better. I had a few contractions on the way to get the kids, but not much happened the rest of the day.

After the midwife swept Marcelaine’s membranes again we went home again. We sat around in the afternoon. Kevin and I watched a movie (A Night at the Opera). We went for a short walk to check on our garden (a few tomatoes are growing and the carrots, lettuce and sweet peas are getting big). In the evening we had Hawaiian Haystacks for dinner and then got the kids ready for bed. Kevin is learning how to read and Heidi always gets extremely excited before going to bed (i.e. she gets hyperactive).

I worked on some things on the computer and Marcelaine focused on getting the baby out. If Monday came around and still no baby then we would need to have the baby at the hospital. (On Monday I would be 42 weeks pregnant.) If she didn’t come by Tuesday then Marcelaine would be induced. Marcelaine started having contractions around 11:30 at night. By that point she had already threatened to give up several times. I knew that I would need some sleep so I went to bed around midnight to get some sleep in. Marcelaine stayed up with her contractions. Around 3:30 in the morning (Sunday, June 1^st) Marcelaine woke me up to say that the contractions were getting stronger and that she would get in the tub to see if that would help. She called the midwife when the contractions became stronger and more frequent.

On Saturday I went in for a third sweep. The third sweep was what got me into labor with Heidi, so I was hoping that this would do the trick. The midwife, Emily, said I was almost 4 cm and the head was engaged and nice and low. She said that if I didn’t go into labor after this sweep she thought castor oil would probably work since I was already dilated so much and the head was so low. However, she also said that she could tell that Ann Marie was facing sideways, so she encouraged me to bind my belly really tightly with a sheet and go for a walk to help her head turn. That made me a little nervous. Nothing really happened that afternoon, and as the day went on I got more and more discouraged. I went outside and walked a couple of laps around the apartment complex after the kids were in bed, and I had a couple of mild contractions that I was able to walk through. When I got inside I took a shower since I figured I was probably going to church the next day.

Around 11:30 I came out and told Ryan, “I give up. Let’s just send the baby back.” I figured I was probably looking at a hospital induction the following Tuesday. I didn’t really want to take castor oil and since the birth center midwives would still be taking care of me at the hospital I felt that it wouldn’t be as hard as my induction with Kevin. Ryan and I chatted for a while and I realized I was starting to have regular contractions. They were intense enough to require some deep breathing and concentration, but still pretty mild. After a while Ryan went to bed, which was good because I knew if this progressed into labor I would want his help more later on. I sat on the couch and tried to snooze a little between contractions. After a couple of hours I decided I should probably time the contractions to get a better idea of what was going on. There wasn’t really a pattern. They were 2-5 minutes apart and some were intense and some were more like Braxton-Hicks contractions. Then around 3:00 they started to spread apart to more like 6 minutes apart, and some seemed really intense and some were barely contractions. I decided to call the midwife and get some guidance. Emily suggested getting in the tub. That seems to get real labor contractions to be more consistent and calms false labor down a little bit. Once I was in the tub the contractions started to be 2-3 minutes apart and they got more painful. I knew we probably needed to head to the birth center, so I called Emily back at 3:30 and she agreed, then I told Ryan we needed to get ready to go.

I started getting stuff ready to go to the Birth Center. Around 4:30 am I went over to Nelson and Ginnie Pace’s apartment to see if they could watch Kevin and Heidi when we went to the Birth Center. I brought the car around front and put all the stuff into the car. We left at about 4:45 and got to the Birth Center shortly after 5:00 am (on the way it just so happened that the music that came up when we got in the car was the Imperial March from Star Wars. The next song that came up was Duel of the Fates from Episode I. We decided that that was her theme song.). Emily and Nancy were there and we went into the Blue Room (Heidi was born in the Green Room). By this point the contractions were about 2-2.5 minutes apart and were about a minute long. Marcelaine spent some time on the bed but transitioned into the tub.

When Emily came in she commented that I seemed to be working hard. I was moaning through the contractions now. She checked me and I was 5 cm and paper thin. I asked about the position of the baby’s head and she said it was halfway between facing sideways and facing backwards, so it would probably turn just fine.

While Marcelaine was reclining in the tub I went over to the bed to get a little more rest. I started writing this story and was thinking about the name for the baby. Because I knew it was a girl (I was the only one who knew, except for the ultrasound tech and nurse at the hospital), I was going over the girl names. We had Ruby, Jennine, and about 15 different variations of Maryann and Ann Marie. I was thinking over them and the name Ann Marie stuck out very strongly. I thought about it some more and even went over every variation of the name and each time I thought about it the name Ann Marie was the name that forced itself on my mind. I even considered “Anne Marie” and the thought I got back was, “I’m Ann, not “Anne” [pronounced Annie].” I fell asleep thinking about it and when I woke up the first thing I thought of was Ann Marie.

By this point it was 7:00. I mentioned to Marcelaine that the baby had chosen a name. I didn’t tell her which name so as to not spoil the surprise. Marcelaine was still in the tub. She tried a few different positions. There was some progress and the midwife checked and Marcelaine was at 7 cm. Around 8:00 am Marcelaine moved from the tub to the bed. At about the same time the next midwife and nurse came in. Carrie (the midwife) and Asha (the nurse) were the ones that came in. Marcelaine spent some time on her back and then on hands and knees. Things started progressing and around 9:00 am Marcelaine switched back to her back. She stayed that way until the baby was born.

I was pretty surprised when I realized it was already 7:00. It was getting lighter in the room because of the sunrise, and that had a calming effect on me. I had reread some of Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Midwifery about a week before, and one of the things that stuck out to me was her advice to treasure the time between contractions (she calls them “rushes,” which actually seemed like a good description of what I was experiencing until I was in transition). That advice really helped me get through to this point. I would get really nervous when I knew another contraction was coming on, but I would tell myself, “You can do this. You just have to make it through this contraction and then you can rest again.” I focused on relaxing in between contractions as much as possible. I also thought a lot about Kevin and Heidi and how blessed we were that another sweet child was about to join our family. At this point I also received a very strong reassurance from the Holy Ghost that I will be able to handle the transition to taking care of three children, which was very helpful because honestly for the past few months I’ve felt very apprehensive about it. Once I reached 7 cm the contractions started changing and it was harder. I kept telling myself I just needed to get through transition and then I could push and it wouldn’t be as bad (since this had been my experience with Kevin and Heidi’s births).

Things got really hard after this. I got on my knees and leaned on the side of the tub for a while. It was all really intense and painful (I would not describe these pains as "rushes"). It felt different from my previous labors. I was holding my face tightly in my hands during contractions and making really loud noises. I was pretty much roaring. I knew I had not been this loud with either of my other kids. (That evening I was a little hoarse.) I heard a baby crying in the Green Room and that made me start sobbing that I wanted my baby. I tried moving to my back in the tub again and I knew immediately during the next contraction that this position was wrong, wrong, wrong. I decided to try getting on the bed for a while. Everyone helped me out of the tub and wrapped me up in towels. It felt very calming to be wrapped up in the towels. They also put a wet washcloth on my forehead, but I must have been pretty out of it because it slipped over my eyes and I didn’t even notice it. 

I was pushing during contractions (it was involuntary), but it felt wrong no matter what position I tried. I thought it would help if Carrie broke my water, but it didn’t really make a difference. That was when Carrie noticed that there was still a lip of cervix over the baby’s head, so during the next contraction she slipped it past the baby’s head. She said it would hurt, but it was all so intense I didn’t notice her doing it. She said the lip was gone, “and now you’re going to have your baby.” I was still having a really hard time with pushing. I was doing what my body was telling me, but I could tell the head wasn’t really moving. After a while I was able to put my hand down and feel Ann Marie’s head (not that it felt like a head), and I started to figure out how to push so that she was actually moving, but I was incredibly discouraged. I was pushing really, really hard and roaring. I remember at one point trying to encourage myself by yelling, “I’m going to get huge, and I’m going to push this baby out!” I kept praying that I could get this baby out.  Everyone was so supportive. I was glad Ryan had been able to sleep earlier because he was completely focused and did a great job of giving me the support and encouragement I needed. Carrie and Asha kept reassuring me that all of the things I was feeling were normal and I was doing just fine, but it just felt like there was something wrong or different. I didn’t think the baby was any bigger than Kevin or Heidi, but why was I having such a hard time?

Ann Marie was born at 9:21 am on Sunday, June 01, 2014. She was posterior with her head facing forward, so it was a little difficult but Marcelaine just muscled through. Because I was the only one who knew whether it was a boy or a girl the midwife kept calling her a “he”. She came out all covered in thick vernix and crying up a storm. She said her piece for the next half hour. Within minutes of being born she was already searching for her thumb. She had the cord wrapped around her neck when she came out and was an obvious shade of blue, but within a short time (and due to some intense crying) she pinked right up. The midwife handed her to Marcelaine and Marcelaine sat there in disbelief. Marcelaine recovered her senses long enough to check to see if it was a boy or a girl. Fortunately for the reputation of the ultrasound tech she was a girl. It would also be slightly awkward if she were a boy and we had to call him Ann Marie since that was the name I was told it had to be.

It all made a lot more sense once Carrie told me Ann Marie had come out posterior. That’s probably why everything felt so different and it was so hard to push her out. During the last few weeks of my pregnancy I noticed that it seemed like her back was turned more behind and she seemed to be spending a lot of time with her feet and knees in front, so I had wondered if she might be posterior, but obviously I don’t have much experience feeling baby positions and I had a feeling that I should just let things happen how they were going to happen since there was nothing I could do about it and therefore it wouldn’t do any good to worry (that’s Ann Marie’s influence—ordinarily I get stressed out very easily, but I think Ann Marie has a much calmer spirit and she has been a very calming influence in my life throughout all of the stressful things that have happened during this pregnancy). After she was out I just kept saying, “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.” After a minute I held her up a little and found out that we had another little girl, but it took me a while to get out of the fog enough to feel ready to think about her name. I went through all of the names we had considered, but none of them stuck out to me, and then Ryan pointed out that I had forgotten about the other variations of “Mary Ann” that we had talked about, and I realized her name was Ann Marie, spelled exactly like that.

I only had a minor tear that didn’t need any stitches. My lower back hurt a lot, though, so when the nurse asked if I wanted some ibuprofen I immediately said, “Yes, please!” After a while things had calmed down and I was able to enjoy being with Ann Marie. I love to touch her soft skin and look at her sweet face.

The nurse and midwife did all the normal clean up, pulled out the placenta, did some checks on Marcelaine and Ann Marie and then left us alone. We had a few minutes with the baby and then I took some pictures and video of her so that we had something to show the family. Right now when I am writing this it is 11:45 and we are somewhat tired but recovered. Ann Marie is fast asleep having found her thumb (well her whole hand really). We will weigh her shortly and then the plan is that I will go home and get Kevin and Heidi so they can come take their little sister home.

Ann Marie was weighed in at 8 lbs. 6 oz.

Ryan got back with the kids around 3:00 in the afternoon. He had already told them that the baby was here and her name was Ann Marie, so Kevin came right in and said, “Hi, Ann Marie!” Heidi was a little shy and seemed like she didn’t know what to think, but I gave her a hug and introduced her to Ann Marie and she got a little more comfortable. It was very sweet and I was glad that Ryan had decided to bring them to the birth center to help bring the baby home. They were excited to help get her into the car seat and watch her while we drove home. They have been enjoying helping to take care of her and holding her. I’m trying to let myself be willing to share her. J

Recovery has mostly been great. My back and neck are aching, probably because all the muscles are trying to get used to the new distribution of weight. It seems to make a big difference that I didn’t need stitches like I did with Kevin and Heidi. So far Ann Marie sleeps pretty well at night and she’s pretty calm.

Oh, and when we got home from the birth center, we checked the mail and found the appointment reminder for my induction waiting in our mailbox. Mua-ha-ha!