seasons

Today in Sacrament Meeting I was feeling really frustrated. Kevin was wild. By the time the sacrament was passed he was launching himself over the bench in front of us and jumping up and down on the floor. He also thought it was fun to spit at the family behind us. The kids were crawling all over me and I was tired of being treated like a jungle gym. Ryan ended up taking Kevin into the hall to sit on the couch.

I was feeling pretty upset. A lot of Sundays I wonder why we even bother to come to Sacrament Meeting because it's always a wrestling match. I often contemplate just taking the kids for a drive until it's time for Sunday School so that I can hand Kevin off to his nursery leaders. (I haven't resorted to that yet, by the way.)

So while I was sitting in the chapel and thinking about how my life is falling apart, and Heidi was continuing to crawl all over me and attempting to escape into the aisle, my friend Nicole Empey went to the front and bore her testimony. She wanted to bear her testimony that there are times and seasons in our lives, and sometimes they're good seasons and sometimes they're hard seasons. (She has twin boys who are Kevin's age and a little girl who is older than Heidi, so she knows about hard seasons.) We just have to realize that sometimes we will have hard seasons because that is how life goes. I knew as soon as she started talking that this was for me. I usually only get snippets of thoughts from Sacrament Meeting talks because my attention is so divided, and it's frustrating for me because I need that spiritual nourishment too and it's hard to get it right now. And I really do often feel like my life is falling apart these days. The clothes are never folded, the sink is full of dishes, and there's a growing pile of "stuff to go through/finish" on the floor by my bed, and meanwhile I'm struggling to get school assignments done. But today I was grateful for this reminder that right now I'm in a challenging season, and even though I'm often frustrated and stressed and upset, this season is good for me and it is teaching me important things. I guess even though it's harder to get spiritual nourishment from the sources I'm used to, my life experiences are also strengthening me, so that's spiritual nourishment too. I appreciate that when God gives me challenges to help me grow, he also gives me experiences along the way that remind me that He is watching over me and is not forsaking me. Today was one of those times when He reminded me that He is aware of my spiritual needs and will provide for them if I am open to receive them.