Kon-Mari Method

I know Marie Kondo's method in the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up has been floating around for a few years, and I had determined not to read it because based on the reviews I figured I'd be rolling my eyes a lot. But recently I decided to pick it up and see what all the hype is about. I didn't expect to like it, but it actually has some really good nuggets! Yes, I had to ignore some of the weird things she says about socks having feelings and such, but the general method makes a lot of sense. The only thing that it probably won't help me with is my kids' clutter, because if you're not invested and committed to tidying up then it's not going to happen, and my kids don't see the point in cleaning up after themselves (yet--we're working on it). To me it seems like the book is more geared to childless people living in apartments. But it still opened my eyes to what I can do to at least take control of my own clothes, papers, books, and mementos.

The general method is to tidy your home by category, not by location or room, and she gives a specific order for the categories because some categories are easier to start with than others. So you do the easier categories like clothes and papers first because that will give you the momentum to continue with harder categories like keepsakes. The reason she teaches not to organize by area is because for many people it can be hard to get a sense of what you have if you don't see the entire category at once. The example she gave was when she started organizing some drawers in her family's home and realized that her mother was storing makeup samples, toothbrushes, soap, etc. in two or three different drawers throughout the house.

Kondo says there are two tasks involved in tidying: discarding and deciding where to keep things. And discarding has to come first. Don't even start thinking of where to put things until you're done discarding.

I think one of Marie Kondo's phrases that has gotten the most attention (and criticism) is "spark joy." Admittedly we don't all have the luxury to throw away everything we own that doesn't spark joy because there are some things we need even if they don't give us a thrill, and maybe she should address that more. But most of us have bags and bags of things that we're holding onto for reasons like, "It still works," "I don't want it to go to waste," "I might need it someday," "I might want to read it someday," "Aunt Mabel gave it to me," etc. I know I have a lot of books that I've held onto because they were sort of good, but when I was honest with myself I realized that even though they were enjoyable to read once, they weren't something that would give me a thrill to re-read. And I know I still have some textbooks that I won't get around to studying someday.

I think what she's really trying to get at is that when we're decluttering we should focus on what we want to keep instead of having angst towards the things we're throwing away, so that in the end we are for the most part surrounded by possessions that we like and enjoy. It's a subtle change in thinking that I think would make the process more peaceful and enjoyable, with less guilt and frustration.

This is the order of sorting she gives:

• Clothes
• Books (can divide into the below categories if the task is daunting--just touch them, don't start reading because it will distract you and cloud your judgment; keep in mind that you read books for the experience in reading, which you don't get if it's just sitting on a shelf)
• General (books for pleasure)
• Practical (references, cookbooks)
• Visual (photograph collections, etc.)
• Magazines
• Papers (cards, letters, and love notes do not go in this category; her rule of thumb is to discard [pretty much] everything.)
• Keep papers that still need to be dealt with in one spot only
• Other categories include papers you must keep, subdivided by infrequently used papers and frequently used papers
• Miscellany (deal with in the order below)
• CDs, DVDs
• Skin care products
• Makeup
• Accessories
• Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
• Electrical equipment and appliances
• Household equipment (stationery, sewing kits, etc.)
• Household supplies (medicine, detergents, tissues)
• Kitchen goods
• Other (make your own subcategories if needed)
• Coins go straight into your wallet as you find them--don't keep coin collections
• Mementos
• Deal with photos last--put them all in one spot as you are dealing with all other categories

For each category or subcategory, you gather everything in that category and put it all together in a pile on the floor. Then you hold each item and decide individually. Yes, she suggests some weird things to say to the items, but the real idea is to change your mindset towards things. For example, if you have a worn out skirt that you're having a hard time throwing away because it has been one of your favorites, it might be helpful to acknowledge that the skirt gave you joy and it's fulfilled its purpose. Or if you have a like-new blouse that never fit right, you could think that the purpose of the shirt was to teach you that it's a style that doesn't work for you, and then feel better about giving it away because it taught you something useful. And yes, you're even supposed to take all of your books off the shelves and put them in a pile and look at each one individually--the idea being that doing a cursory glance over your shelves doesn't give you an adequate chance to decide how you feel about each book and do the thought-work.

Since we're getting ready to sell our house and move, we need to do a lot of decluttering and organizing. A lot of our stuff needs to be out of the way so it looks nice when we list the house. I was feeling a little overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, but after reading this book I've decided to give the Kon-Mari method a try. I'm not going to anthropomorphize our possessions, but I think there's good sense in the idea of doing it by category, and having a listed order for the process is helpful so I know what to tackle next.

I think I have a tendency to think that if I could achieve some level of minimalism then I would be happy, but over time I've realized that thought isn't going to work for me because we have six people living together--and we're living here, so messes are expected. I do have systems for where things go, so that helps because I know where to put things, but for us our house isn't just a place to hang up our bags. It's our safe haven and the place where we do important work like creating, building, playing, and loving. Happiness doesn't come from having things, but happiness also doesn't come from not having things. It's something we generate in our brains and by working for it.