on shopping and other pregnancy stuff

Have you ever looked at the models on motherhood.com? I'm pretty sure half of them aren't actually pregnant and they're just leaning back and pushing out their tummies. I want to see a model who is eight months pregnant wearing these outfits. That's the true test of whether a maternity shirt is worth buying.

A couple of days ago I was going out in public, and the few shirts I have left that look okay on me were all dirty. In desperation I pulled out a maternity shirt, and, lo and behold, I looked pregnant. And cute. And a shining light bulb appeared above my head as I realized, "Wait a second, I look awful in these shirts because I'm starting to look pregnant!" Not pregnant enough to wear all of my maternity shirts, but some of the smaller ones look pretty good. So I decided that I want to enjoy going to the playground or the store or to a Relief Society activity and feel like I look nice without having to hide under a sweater or coat, and therefore, I am going to go buy some clothes that I like and that I can feel confident in. (I go shopping very rarely, so the fact that I decided to go shopping is kind of a big deal.) So Kevin and I drove to the great and spacious building (i.e. the mall), and I headed to Destination Maternity to find some transition-into-looking-pregnant clothes. Kevin was very good even though he was bored, and he spent most of the time pointing at the mirror and telling his image, "No! No!" So as a reward he got to play at the play area for a while before we went home. And I am so excited because now I can feel like I look nice in my clothes again. I've been wearing big shirts and covering up with a sweater for a couple of months now.

By the way, I was very pleased to note that they've fixed the picture of the pregnant lady on their bags. She used to have her belly poking out under her shirt, but now they fixed it so her shirt covers it all. The old version really bugged me.

The most interesting symptom of pregnancy I've been having this time is that my tailbone hurts, and has been hurting since early in the pregnancy. A lot of the time when I try to roll over or sit up, it causes me a lot of pain and I have to move slowly and carefully. My midwife said it's probably because my body is making hormones to make my joints and ligaments and such relax, which is what I suspected, but I may go see a chiropractor just in case. It would not be fun to find out that I can't get this baby out because there's something funny happening with my tailbone. I don't remember this happening with Kevin, but every pregnancy is different, and this time around maybe my hips know what's coming.

Other aches and pains seem to be setting in earlier this time, like aching hips at night. But for the most part I've been feeling really well. I hardly feel sick at all. My only disappointment is that I'm not sleeping well like I could with Kevin. When I was pregnant with him I was able to take awesome naps that were very deep and very relaxing. This time I have been trying to nap when Kevin does, but for some reason most days I just lie there wondering why I can't get to sleep even though I feel tired.

Classes start this week, and for some reason I'm kind of nervous to start getting bigger and have people in my classes realize I'm pregnant. Maybe I'm afraid it will make me even more different from them because I'll be the married person who's pregnant with her second child. It might be weird. Outside of BYU, it's pretty uncommon for undergraduate students to be married, let alone parents. Or maybe I'm just scared of the attention from people asking if I'm pregnant.

I'm excited to see what Kevin thinks as my tummy grows. Maybe he won't even notice, or maybe he'll eventually figure out that there's a baby in there. He loves to see the babies at church, so I hope he will be as happy having a baby at home all the time. I know it may be challenging to have our attention less focused on him, but I think he will be excited to be a big brother. He is starting to understand a little better what "soft" means. If I tell him to be soft he remembers that it's okay to gently touch a person's head but it's not okay to hit or pull hair. He does enjoy head-butting people, but please don't be insulted if he does it to you or your child, because he truly views it as a sign of affection (I do apologize if it hurts, though). I think it must be a boy thing. I'm sure I will still have to remind him to be gentle with the baby and that there will be times when I have to keep the baby way out of reach, but I hope that I can find the right balance so that he can start bonding with the baby and not feel like this is just one more thing he's not allowed to play with.

I'm starting to feel baby-hungry again like I did before the morning sickness set in. Recently some of my friends on facebook have posted pictures of their new babies and I tend look at them and say, "Oh, I want a baby." I don't know how it's possible that I barely remember the half-conscious once-an-hour feedings in the middle of the night, or smelling like rotten milk, or desperately wanting to take a shower but not doing so because if I set the baby down for too long he will cry till he's purple. I don't even remember being in labor hurting much. I just want a baby. Which is probably why the human race is still around.