Keep Thou My Feet

I think I'm finally starting to get a better perspective about why I'm really supposed to be in school. I've been a straight A student since 9th grade, and I largely attribute this to all the effort that I put into studying and doing my schoolwork. But this semester I am starting to find that straight A's may not be a possibility for me anymore. It's been really tough this semester to not have a lot of time to study. It's really hard to get much done when Kevin is awake, and by the time he's in bed I don't have a lot of mind power left to study. I'm also taking some really hard classes, and a good portion of the rest of the classes I will have to take are also very difficult classes. It's also been very frustrating to walk out of tests feeling very confident that I got a good grade, only to get the test back and find that I didn't get a very good grade, and all the points I lost were due to dumb mistakes, not because I don't understand the material.

But one thing I'm finally starting to realize is that it doesn't really matter if I get perfect grades in my classes. Even if I don't get A's this semester, that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. Honestly, I think this semester has been the most uplifting one of my college career, and I have never learned as much in any semester as I have learned this semester. And because of that, breaking my 4.0 isn't as devastating as I thought it would be. I'm still an intelligent person, I still understand the material, I still did my best, and I'm still getting a lot out of my education.

The other reason it doesn't bother me is that I have a better understanding of what this life is about, and even though it's important to learn as much as I can while I am here, my grades are not going to be a factor in whether I receive exaltation. Maybe the world cares about that kind of thing, but God doesn't because he knows what the desires and intentions of my heart are. He knows how to judge me fairly and impartially and he sees me as a person of worth.