getting to the root of the problem (confessions of a reforming procrastinator)

My new focus on working on smaller goals one at a time has given me some interesting insights about why I don't get some things done. One of those insights is that it's helpful to try to get to the root of the problem and figure out why I procrastinate certain tasks. Here are some things I've realized:

• One of the reasons I dread washing the dishes is that I am afraid of the monsters that are surely under the dish drainer. Actually, I'm scared of the dish drainer itself. It just tends to get dirty. And besides that, it's small and difficult to fit very many dishes into. So the solution I am going to try out is to just use towels on the counter, because I wash towels all the time and it gives me enough space to put all my clean pots without feeling like the pot tower is going to come crashing to the floor. A bonus is that I can see more counter space, which makes my kitchen look less cluttered.
• One of the main reasons that I don't go to the temple often enough is that I never get around to making the appointment. It's pretty simple to say to Ryan, "Do you want to go to the temple on Thursday evening?" But then I have to make the appointment, which means I need to look up the number and call when there is a temple worker at the temple to answer the call. So my solution is that I put the phone number into the phone so that when I remember to make the appointment it's already in the phone and it's easier. (Because looking up a phone number and making a call is sooooo hard . . . )
• For a while I kept finding hats and scarves and gloves all over the place. My shoes also seem to be all over the house--and I only have three pairs of shoes! (In my defense, Kevin loves to walk around the house in my shoes.) The problem was that all of those things didn't really have a place where they belonged, and there wasn't really space anywhere for a shelf or basket to hold them. So I bought a shoe rack that hangs over the door of our front closet. I never thought I would get one of those because I just didn't think it would work, but then one day I realized that it would be a good solution because it wouldn't take up extra space. It's been working pretty well! I keep my three pairs of shoes at the bottom and use the other pockets for scarves, hats, and gloves. I've also taken to putting my diaper bag and backpack in that closet on top of my six-gallon buckets, because they didn't have a home before either, and I put the Ergo in there on a hanger. When we get home from walks or church or school I can just stand in front of the closet and put everything away right there.
• Piles of clothes tend to accumulate in our hallway, across from the laundry closet, because we tend to just toss the clothes onto the floor so we can start the next load. It's strange, because I actually really enjoy folding clothes. Maybe subconsciously I'm saving them for a treat later? : ) Anyway, it's getting a little better because I've started folding the clothes straight out of the dryer and then putting them away right away. Another thing that helps is that I wash Heidi's clothes and Kevin's clothes in their own loads instead of sorting them out by color with our clothes. So with every dryer load I can usually fold the clothes and take them all to one place to put away, and I don't have a zillion piles of clothes. (No, I've never had a problem with white shirts coming out pink or blue--I just sort new clothes into colors for the first few washes until the colors don't bleed.)
• Dinner time is hard because I never know what to make and the meat is never defrosted. The solution? I need to make a menu plan, and I need to do as much preparation as I can while the kids are taking their afternoon naps and I'm not tired and hungry.
• Bread products (leftover muffins, loaves of bread, etc.) always seem to clutter my counter. I found a cute basket to put them in. Problem solved. And the basket is a nice decoration.

So working on goals has put me into a mindset where I've realized that if something isn't working for me, I can change it and try something else. It's caused me to look at things that I'm doing (or not doing) and notice what I'm thinking when I'm procrastinating a job--and if I realize why I'm procrastinating, sometimes I can figure out a solution. It's also caused me to notice things that are always lying around and decide to find a designated place for them or just get rid of them. I think I've mentioned this several times on my blog, but I love getting rid of stuff. It's so liberating.

week in review

(Read this one.)

It's been a nice and busy week! Classes started on Monday for me. I'm taking a history class about the world since 1945 and Earth Systems History, which is a course about the major events (geological and biological) in Earth's history and how we know them. In my history class we are reading seven books this semester, but they look like they're all pretty interesting books. I've already finished the first one, Hiroshima, by John Hershey. It was a really interesting read.

I'm organizing a Relief Society activity where we put together our 72-hour kits. It's taken a bit more work than I expected to plan out the food and figure out how much it would cost and where to get it. There's always the worry that some people won't like the food or they won't like my ideas or whatever else. So I've been reading a lot about it and asking for suggestions. I think sometimes people tend to over-analyze this kind of thing. Yes, it's good to be prepared, but I feel like just having something is a good starting point, even if it's not perfect. It can be kind of overwhelming to see all the ideas and all the things to consider, and for some people that is so daunting that they don't even get to the baby steps because they don't know where to start.

Ryan's brother Jared stayed with us on Tuesday through Thursday. He came to interview for an internship at Duke. We're hoping that he and his family will be moving close by soon! We didn't get to do much since it was a short stay and he mostly had things to do at Duke, but we did have a good time in the evenings and he came with us to have a potluck with our friends the Rasmussens.

On Thursday we got a babysitter and went to the Raleigh temple. It was the first time we've been back since before Heidi was born. It's hard when you have a new baby, and on top of that my temple dress doesn't fit anymore. But really that's no excuse because Heidi's been sleeping through the night for a while and I can borrow a dress from the temple. So I am determined to be better and make it to the temple once a month. I even added the phone number to our phone so I don't have to look it up anymore. Anyway, it was really nice. I felt the Spirit so strongly and gained a lot of insights about the gospel and Jesus Christ. What a blessing it is that I have been able to receive the ordinances of the gospel in the temple, especially the ordinance of being married to Ryan for all eternity. My family is such a wonderful reminder to me of the things that are most important. Knowing that we can be an eternal family helps me to get through times when I get discouraged and gives me greater determination to live righteously.

Heidi is sitting up by herself pretty well now, but I usually stay close by because if she's not concentrating on it she still falls over sometimes. She can get into the sitting position by herself sometimes too. She also surprised us this week by figuring out how to stand up by herself using a crib or chair! So now she keeps using things to stand up but then sometimes she gets stuck or loses her balance and then she's upset. Heidi has always enjoyed having us blow raspberries, and this week she figured out how to blow raspberries herself. It's a very important skill, you know.

Kevin loves this story that has a little bear who bumps his head on the ceiling while riding on his father's shoulders. He calls the story "Ouch." Sometimes he will come ask us to bump his head on the ceiling by saying, "Ouch? Ouch?" He thinks it's really funny.

He also has this thing with holding things. He'll see pictures of things in books and put his hands towards them and say, "Hold her? Hold her?"

Today he and Ryan were playing with mega blocks, and Ryan put the angel from our Little People nativity set on top of a tower. When Kevin saw it he called it a temple! And then he and Ryan built a temple together. I thought that was pretty cool, although I think I probably have to credit his nursery teachers for that one, because although Kevin knows what the temple is, I don't think I've ever pointed out the angel Moroni to him.

Kevin took some pictures

When I downloaded the picture of Heidi I also discovered these gems, taken by Kevin, apparently.

Heidi is standing for something

I can not believe this.

I put Heidi down in her crib to go to sleep, and 30 seconds later I came back to get something. Guess what I found?

I found this:

This is my 6.5 month old baby pulling herself up to stand in her crib!

Time to lower the crib mattress.

interesting library/mall trip

For one of my classes we are reading seven books this semester (we'll see how that works out . . . ). The first one, Hiroshima, by John Hershey, is in the public library, so I decided to make a trip. You may have noticed that Kevin+quiet library isn't generally a stress-free experience. I was prepared to make this a quick trip and just go in and out.

Well, we got there and there was a slight problem. It was pouring rain. The library is in the mall, and there is a children's consignment store there that has a play area in back, so I thought, "Okay, we'll make a mad dash in the rain so we don't get too wet, then Kevin can play in the play area so I have a chance to put Heidi in the Ergo." There were a couple of things I wanted to look for at the store anyway.

Kevin thought the rain was fun. It was really cute.

There was a little car in the play area that Kevin went to play in. Only problem was that it was not designed very well and Kevin ended up being painfully stuck and I couldn't get him out one-handed. A sweet little grandma held Heidi so I could free Kevin, who had somehow managed to get in the car knees-first.

After that, Kevin decided he wanted to go listen to the music that they had been playing out in the hallway thingy in the mall . . . which was fine until he started getting into all sorts of things that weren't really meant to be played with as we headed to the library. So there was a bit of a tantrum on the floor, although honestly he wasn't being too bad, just dragging his feet. Then this random guy who was sitting close by looked at Kevin and yelled at him, "Be good for your Mom!" Um, not helpful! I wasn't mad at Kevin because I knew this was a new place with interesting things, and I was just frustrated and trying to figure out how to calm him down a little bit so we could hurry and go to the library. So I wasn't sure what to think about this stranger who thought it would be okay to yell at my child.

Well, Kevin and I found a bench and had a little talk in which I explained that the most important rule in the library was to be quiet and stay by Mom. And he was really great in the library! He grabbed a couple of children's books on the way out. I didn't even look at the titles. I just figured, if this will make him happy so we can check the books out, then great.

Going out to the car, Kevin was really upset, and I finally realized he wanted to go back and look at something, so I gave in and let him lead me where he wanted to go. Turns out he wanted to go back to the play area. I was okay with that.

So it just so happened that today was the weekly La Leche League meeting that they apparently hold there at the consignment store. There were about six women with little babies there all nursing and talking about breastfeeding and new baby stuff, and the leader was spouting off every cliche thing that people say about breastfeeding. I think La Leche is a great resource for some people, but listening to their conversation I felt grateful that I have a good network of friends and family who I can talk to (realistically!) about all things parenting. It would be weird for me to regularly go to groups like this and talk to strangers about breastfeeding.

Kevin had a perfectly wonderful time. We stayed for quite a while, and when it was time to leave there were no complaints. Every once in a while I catch Kevin just at the right moment when he feels satisfied with the amount of time he's been able to play somewhere and he comes happily. I love it when that happens.

Oh, and when we got home I finally got a chance to see what books we had checked out for Kevin. One was a princess book. Go figure.

one word

Ryan: coughing. He seems to be getting better, but whenever he gets sick the coughs always drag on forever.

Marcelaine: busy. You would think that since this is Christmas break (classes start tomorrow) I would have been able to get caught up, but at the end of the day I always seem to be left with the feeling that there were so many things that I was hoping to do, but I didn't do very many of them. I think I need to prioritize my time better and get more organized. I did get rid of a few things, though, and I found a lovely basket to hold all of my bread products that used to clutter the counter. Progress!

Kevin: big. He wants everything to be big. Pronounced in italics. A big tower. A big cereal. A big jump (he wants to jump off of everything). A big book.

Heidi: clingy. If I'm not holding her she is often crawling after me on her tummy wailing. She just wants me to hold and play with her all the time. Thank you, Ergo Baby, for making it possible for me to hold my baby and make dinner too!

Heidi getting into the trash