Kon-Mari Method

I know Marie Kondo's method in the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up has been floating around for a few years, and I had determined not to read it because based on the reviews I figured I'd be rolling my eyes a lot. But recently I decided to pick it up and see what all the hype is about. I didn't expect to like it, but it actually has some really good nuggets! Yes, I had to ignore some of the weird things she says about socks having feelings and such, but the general method makes a lot of sense. The only thing that it probably won't help me with is my kids' clutter, because if you're not invested and committed to tidying up then it's not going to happen, and my kids don't see the point in cleaning up after themselves (yet--we're working on it). To me it seems like the book is more geared to childless people living in apartments. But it still opened my eyes to what I can do to at least take control of my own clothes, papers, books, and mementos.

The general method is to tidy your home by category, not by location or room, and she gives a specific order for the categories because some categories are easier to start with than others. So you do the easier categories like clothes and papers first because that will give you the momentum to continue with harder categories like keepsakes. The reason she teaches not to organize by area is because for many people it can be hard to get a sense of what you have if you don't see the entire category at once. The example she gave was when she started organizing some drawers in her family's home and realized that her mother was storing makeup samples, toothbrushes, soap, etc. in two or three different drawers throughout the house.

Kondo says there are two tasks involved in tidying: discarding and deciding where to keep things. And discarding has to come first. Don't even start thinking of where to put things until you're done discarding.

I think one of Marie Kondo's phrases that has gotten the most attention (and criticism) is "spark joy." Admittedly we don't all have the luxury to throw away everything we own that doesn't spark joy because there are some things we need even if they don't give us a thrill, and maybe she should address that more. But most of us have bags and bags of things that we're holding onto for reasons like, "It still works," "I don't want it to go to waste," "I might need it someday," "I might want to read it someday," "Aunt Mabel gave it to me," etc. I know I have a lot of books that I've held onto because they were sort of good, but when I was honest with myself I realized that even though they were enjoyable to read once, they weren't something that would give me a thrill to re-read. And I know I still have some textbooks that I won't get around to studying someday.

I think what she's really trying to get at is that when we're decluttering we should focus on what we want to keep instead of having angst towards the things we're throwing away, so that in the end we are for the most part surrounded by possessions that we like and enjoy. It's a subtle change in thinking that I think would make the process more peaceful and enjoyable, with less guilt and frustration.

This is the order of sorting she gives:

• Clothes
• Books (can divide into the below categories if the task is daunting--just touch them, don't start reading because it will distract you and cloud your judgment; keep in mind that you read books for the experience in reading, which you don't get if it's just sitting on a shelf)
• General (books for pleasure)
• Practical (references, cookbooks)
• Visual (photograph collections, etc.)
• Magazines
• Papers (cards, letters, and love notes do not go in this category; her rule of thumb is to discard [pretty much] everything.)
• Keep papers that still need to be dealt with in one spot only
• Other categories include papers you must keep, subdivided by infrequently used papers and frequently used papers
• Miscellany (deal with in the order below)
• CDs, DVDs
• Skin care products
• Makeup
• Accessories
• Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
• Electrical equipment and appliances
• Household equipment (stationery, sewing kits, etc.)
• Household supplies (medicine, detergents, tissues)
• Kitchen goods
• Other (make your own subcategories if needed)
• Coins go straight into your wallet as you find them--don't keep coin collections
• Mementos
• Deal with photos last--put them all in one spot as you are dealing with all other categories

For each category or subcategory, you gather everything in that category and put it all together in a pile on the floor. Then you hold each item and decide individually. Yes, she suggests some weird things to say to the items, but the real idea is to change your mindset towards things. For example, if you have a worn out skirt that you're having a hard time throwing away because it has been one of your favorites, it might be helpful to acknowledge that the skirt gave you joy and it's fulfilled its purpose. Or if you have a like-new blouse that never fit right, you could think that the purpose of the shirt was to teach you that it's a style that doesn't work for you, and then feel better about giving it away because it taught you something useful. And yes, you're even supposed to take all of your books off the shelves and put them in a pile and look at each one individually--the idea being that doing a cursory glance over your shelves doesn't give you an adequate chance to decide how you feel about each book and do the thought-work.

Since we're getting ready to sell our house and move, we need to do a lot of decluttering and organizing. A lot of our stuff needs to be out of the way so it looks nice when we list the house. I was feeling a little overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, but after reading this book I've decided to give the Kon-Mari method a try. I'm not going to anthropomorphize our possessions, but I think there's good sense in the idea of doing it by category, and having a listed order for the process is helpful so I know what to tackle next.

I think I have a tendency to think that if I could achieve some level of minimalism then I would be happy, but over time I've realized that thought isn't going to work for me because we have six people living together--and we're living here, so messes are expected. I do have systems for where things go, so that helps because I know where to put things, but for us our house isn't just a place to hang up our bags. It's our safe haven and the place where we do important work like creating, building, playing, and loving. Happiness doesn't come from having things, but happiness also doesn't come from not having things. It's something we generate in our brains and by working for it.

2018 Year in Review

Dear family and friends,

This has been a busy and eventful year, and in an effort to simplify and reduce stress, I have chosen not to send Christmas cards this year. Here are some of the big events of this year, plenty of pictures, and a little summary of what each of us is up to:

In February Ruby Jennine Tanner joined our family. She was born by emergency c-section and had aspirated meconium into her lungs, so she spent two and a half days in the NICU. Fortunately, she recovered quickly and has been healthy. We were grateful that Ryan’s parents could come to help us. It would have been a crisis without them!

For Spring break, we drove to Washington, D.C. to visit Ryan’s sister and parents. We went to a few museums and enjoyed visiting with family. The kids’ favorite part was spending time with cousins.

We went on a two-night camping trip at Vogel State Park in July. Kevin, Heidi, and Ann Marie played in the creek for hours. We saw black bears. We hiked to the highest mountain in Georgia. It rained for at least half of the time we were there, so we cooked and dismantled our campsite in the rain. With the help of some tarps, Ryan was able to keep the inside of the tent fairly dry. It was a fun memory.

We were sad to learn that my grandfather, Derald Glenn, had passed away on July 31st, after struggling with dementia for several years. Ruby and I were blessed to be able to attend the funeral in Idaho. I enjoyed introducing Ruby to everyone in my family. The funeral was a very fitting tribute to Grandpa, with plenty of beautiful music. We continue to pray for Grandma Great.

In October, we survived Hurricane Michael. The hurricane brought in a new family member: a calico kitten named Thistle. She meowed outside our door for a few nights, including the night the tropical storm hit. Then one morning she took refuge under the hood of our van, and after Ryan fished her out we decided to keep her. It feels like Thistle was supposed to be part of our family. She is a nice cat.

Kevin has enjoyed cub scouts this year. He won first place for his den at the pinewood derby and earned his wolf badge. He has made a lot of progress on the piano this year and has been working hard at swimming lessons. He makes cool and funny comics about an imaginary planet named Techaa. He also finished reading the Harry Potter series this year.

Kevin mostly made this cake by himself for Father's Day.

One of Heidi’s big accomplishments this year was learning to ride a bike. In June she lost her first tooth. She is also a voracious reader and has been learning to swim. She started taking piano lessons in June and is doing a great job! Heidi and Ann Marie have great imaginations and come up with creative games together every day.

That time the kids told me they were playing Pioneers, and I assumed they were going to go hike around the backyard. Instead they were washing all their clothes by hand.

Ann Marie is enjoying her preschool with some friends from church. She’s starting to write her name and several other letters, and she counts everything. She loves cutting and coloring. Baking with Mom has been one of her favorite activities lately. She’s doing great as a Sunbeam at church. We love hearing her sing all the songs she’s been learning.

Ruby has been such a joy. Her smile makes everyone’s day better. She’s crawling everywhere and pulling up to stand. Her favorite games are clapping, playing peekaboo, and shaking her head. She's had a beautiful head full of dark hair ever since she was born.

I (Marcelaine) keep busy taking care of the family. In the beginning of the year, I served as ward choir director at church, and in September I was asked to play the piano for choir instead, which I really enjoy. The Christmas season is an especially meaningful time to be ward choir pianist as we prepare for the Christmas program. I’m still a temple and family history consultant. I’ve been writing posts for the Facebook page, Evans Georgia Family History Center, and helping people at the family history center with their genealogy. I’ve read many good books this year. I started an Instagram account (@my_library_bag) to share children’s books that the kids and I have enjoyed. We had mixed results with flowers this year, but the lilies, marigolds, and zinnias were beautiful.

Ryan continues to teach at Augusta University for his third year. He teaches Physics labs, Astronomy, and a science class for Elementary Education majors. He is enjoying serving in the Elders Quorum presidency. He helped at Scout Camp in June. Ryan’s big project this year has been building a new retaining wall in our backyard. He had to pull out all the rotting railroad ties, and then he replaced them with bricks and built a second tier. The final result looks beautiful, and he’s relieved to be finished!

This year in church, the youth have focused on the theme, "There is Peace in Christ." That has become my theme this year too. It has been a year with some of the most difficult trials of my life, but I have found that when I lean on my Savior, He has supported me and given me hope. How grateful I am that because of Him I can repent, change, and look forward to the resurrection. My favorite scripture this year has been Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

Love,
Marcelaine (and Ryan, Kevin, Heidi, Ann Marie, and Ruby)